My middle sister (2 yrs older) is not a fan of my FH. She has flat out told me (@ the very beginning & about a yr into the relationship) that she didn’t like him but was unable to give good reasons. All my friends & other family members like him.
He & I have been together about 2 1/2 yrs - so she’s had time to get over it & has chosen not to - even tho she said from the start that she’d try. FH has tried to get to know her & has only ever been nice to her & she gives short replies or sometimes doesn’t even respond.
Our theories: she’s 1. Jealous that I spend less time with her now 2. Potentially jealous that I’m getting married before her (she’s never been on a date & I’ve wondered if that bothers her) 3. Upset because she hates his political views (hate is not used lightly there.)She & I used to be super close but the more she disliked my FH, the less I wanted to hang out with her…I try to still stay involved but the relationship is different & I can understand why that would be hard for her.Also - She is very introverted & doesn’t like talking about her feelings & also shuts down quickly when in emotional conversations.My family gets together every Sunday afternoon for lunch. That’s just a bit too much for me & FH so we try to make sure we see my family at least twice a month. My family has passive aggressively made it clear that they think we don’t come over enough. FH & I surprised my family with the news of the engagement the morning after he proposed (we were already planning to go over that day so it worked out great. My parents knew it would happen soon but not exactly even) & everyone was excited except my middle sister who simply said “yeah I figured you had gotten engaged because you invited yourself over.” Ouch. I told her I was already planning to come over & it just happened yesterday. I think I got an empty “congrats” or something non-committal like that. Then she was just on her phone any time the engagement was mentioned after that. I sobbed about it on our drive home & later that evening because I was so hurt that she couldn’t put aside her past issues with him (which were founded on nothing, btw) to be happy for her own sister. It sucked so much of my joy about everything because I was so mad and hurt.
So now here’s my thing. She’s still my sister & I love her so much. I plan to ask her, my oldest sister, & my FSIL to be bridesmaids. But I am worried my middle sister will have an attitude, or at least be blatantly unenthused for the wedding & related events. I don’t think she’s bold enough to decline to be in the wedding but a sliver of me wishes she would because I’m honestly still angry for the hurt she’s caused me over all of this not only in the convo mentioned above, but also with her attitude throughout this whole relationship.Any advice on how to go into all this & protect my heart from further hurt?
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