Sister Bridesmaids?

That is a LOT of bridesmaids, and a lot of pressure for you to include all. I think you may have to consider all or none. How horrible would it be to have none of them up there with you? Can you honor them in some other way during the ceremony? Do any of them sing/play an instrument? Can they do a reading together?

Every situation is different, so I'll just tell you what I did for our wedding! I am 25, my fiance is 29. He has two sisters (34 and 38), a stepsister (37), and a stepsister-in law (married his stepbrother - 30). For me, it wasn't an option to include some & not others, so I included all four. He included my brother as a GM, but not his stepbrother or stepsister's husband (he just isn't close with them). I had 9 BM and he had 10 GM. It was more expensive having a larger party (gifts, rehearsal dinner, flowers, etc.). Having a large wedding party wasn't a problem for us, we picked a venue that could accommodate a large group and I felt including everyone made it a huge family event!

I would not include any of the sisters and just have friends and then have the sisters do a reading or some other aspect of the wedding. I would not just chose one though, if my sister included my brother in the wedding but not me I would be upset. Have them all or none and it sounds like you don't want the other two so have all three of them do something special so they are involved but not bridesmaids.

Those aren't your only choices. He could have his sisters be on his side, as groomswomen. They are closer to him than to you anyway. And unless he also had eight people he wants as groomsmen, all of them could be included without becoming an overwhelming number.

My FW has 3 sisters, all older. The oldest and the sister just older than my FW were each other's MOH so my FW chose the 2nd oldest to be her MOH for her first wedding. It was all good and everyone was happy. Cut to now and none of them will be in our wedding party. I think it really depends on the family. If you and your FH feel this is important to you, then take a stand, but you may have to include all or none.

I think I'd leave them all out of it. It sounds like you already have pretty big wedding party (whether it's 8 and 9, 12 and 9, or 8 and 13), so I'd try to honor them by having them do a reading, act as ushers, or even all be adult flower girls to escort the ring bearer.

So, let me get this straight........FMIL's own wedding party was basically hijacked by her FMIL, so she is now trying to do the same thing to you? I would think she of all people would be more sensitive to what you want, seeing as how she didn't get what she wanted.

My opinion? DON'T CAVE!! Your bridal party is something very personal, and should only include those you feel closest to in life. You should never choose anyone to be in the BP just to make someone else happy. If you read these forums long enough, you will start to see a pattern of brides who were pressured into having certain people in their bridal party--and they end up regretting it! Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about everyone else. What's FMIL going to do if you don't have these girls in your bridal party? She might be mad, might even throw a fit, but in the end, you'll still be marrying her son, and there's nothing she says or does that will change that. So, avoid the drama, and have your closest ladies (family or friends) standing with you.

^^^^^^ 1000% this

I never understand why people feel entitled to be in a bridal party. Feel free to choose none of them if that's what you want. A bridal party should be your nearest and dearest!

Hi, I think 12 girls may be just a tad much im sorry I hope I do not offend you. Why are you saying all except the 1 with kids? because her kids are in the bridal party? I think for myself I know I would cave and just do the family but I don't see anything wrong with having the youngest one and than possibly including the other sisters in something else

So.....my fiance and I decided to invite the sister we were closest with to be in the bridal party to make our numbers 9 & 9, buuuut she then freaked out (with the help of the MIL) and called us later saying she didn't want to be in it. If anything this is the beginning of an eye opening process for my fiancé to see the unhealthy parts of his family, because they now have decided that none of them will be in it now because apparently "I do not value them".

My fiancé has been very supportive and has really been holding a lot of the stress away from me by continuing to support me realizing that his family does not understand how friends can be like family (they thought it was strange to have friends in a bridal party; explains more below). Which we both then decided to write on our invitations how excited we are to have "related family and friend family" attend the wedding.

Are we pushing too strong? or do you think this is enough undertone? We realized that their view of weddings is about family ONLY in bridal parties. My fiancé has four sisters and no brothers, so I knew I was going to shatter the ice; and I will probably continue to shatter the ice in various events being the only female marrying in. So yay......partyyyyyy lol.

All of your advice has been so helpful and hearing everyones support has decreased my stress about this, so thank you to everyone who has commented and will comment. This has helped immensely.