Desiree
Beginner October 2020

Sister as a Maid of Honor?

Desiree, on November 5, 2019 at 1:39 AM Posted in Planning 0 33
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Help!

Maybe your input will help me with my decision.


I grew up with 3 brothers and a sister. My sister is 9 years older than me and she is not married nor has any children.

My mom said that automatically she has to be my maid of honor.

I love my sister very much but I'm thinking she might be too old for the role? She also is not the most qualified person for the MOH job.

I am having trouble figuring out if I should ask her to be my MOH.


33 Comments

  • Megan
    Expert June 2021
    Megan Online ·
    • Flag
    I think it's completely up to you, if you are closer with someone have them as your moh or have two.
    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted November 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    What are your “qualifications” for a MOH? If that’s your sister and you’re close with her, age shouldn’t matter. Go for it. However, if you’re not as close and have other friends or a person that you’re closer to just make your sister a BM.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted November 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I've been to plenty of weddings where the sister wasnt the maid of honor. Totally your choice
    • Reply
  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
    • Flag
    It's really you're decision like everyone is saying. My sister is 10 years older than me and married, we've grown closer in the past 5 years since she moved closer. But, I know my sister better than anyone else and she is not reliable enough so she's just a bridesmaid. My best friend is my Matron and my cousin is my Maid. Do what you're comfortable with.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    A person's age has nothing to do with whether she is maid of honor. My friend had someone as maid of honor that was like 20 years older than her. The only qualification is how close you are to this person. The person you have the closest relationship with should be your maid of honor. I'm not sure what qualifications you think your maid of honor should have, but the only things anyone in your bridal party are required to do is where the outfit you pick and show up to the wedding. Otherwise, helping you plan the wedding or hosting parties like a bachelorette party or bridal shower are totally optional. Yes you might want those things, but they aren't required.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    It definitely shouldn’t be about age but if you have someone that you are closer to then that person should be your MOH. Your mom shouldn’t be telling you who to have.
    • Reply
  • K
    Expert September 2020
    Ka-Rina ·
    • Flag
    My husband's family is notorious for this and everyone hates it. 2 weddings in the family I have been to since we met and parents literally force the sibling to be best man or maid of honor. Even if there is little to no relationship between them. It honestly is super weird knowing there is no relationship yet the speech time comes and they literally have to lie about how close they are etc. It was hard to watch particularly in one of the 2 weddings. Then there is also your actual best friend who has been w you thru everything and they don't get to be the best man/maid of honor which is kinda hurtful.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Super November 2016
    Tara ·
    • Flag

    Age has nothing to do with it!! I don't think there should be an automatic person for any role, but you should choose who you're most comfortable with for that role.

    • Reply
  • A
    Master October 2019
    Angelena ·
    • Flag

    You shouldn't be picking your MOH based on a) their age or b) their capabilities to serve you. That's not their "job". Yes they have some undertakings but I think you are thinking about it the wrong way. If you hated your sister, sure don't have her as the MOH. I believe in family first if the circumstances allow. I was always happy to have a sister and didn't have to pick between friends. My husband picked his best friend because his actual brother and him don't get along let alone speak. If you don't like your sister and aren't close then pick a friend, but it's not based on age nor qualifications.

    • Reply
  • Dayna
    Devoted March 2021
    Dayna ·
    • Flag

    My sister is 12 years older than me and will be my matron of honor (since she is married). I was her maid of honor when I was 16. There's no age limitation on MOH, it should be whoever you think will support you. I'm not sure what you mean by "qualified" but if you feel that she won't help you and will just add to the stress of planning, pick someone else. You are not obligated to your sister, but if you guys are close and she will at least be helpful then it makes sense to ask her.

    • Reply
  • Arkilia
    Super October 2020
    Arkilia ·
    • Flag
    Can you elaborate more on the qualifications you are using?
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Dedicated June 2020
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    There is no too old. I was just the MOH for my sisters 2nd marriage and I was 55. I would have been heartbroken if she asked anyone else and I’m 9 years older than her..
    • Reply
  • V
    Dedicated August 2020
    Valerie ·
    • Flag
    There’s no such thing as qualified or not for the role and her marital status and whether she has kids or not doesn’t matter. You choose someone you are close with, who you trust, and who you want to be involved most in your planning process. If that’s your sister, great. If not, that’s fine too. Don’t let anyone bully you into any decision.
    • Reply
  • Shyler
    Beginner November 2019
    Shyler ·
    • Flag

    If it makes you feel any better, my Mom is a bridesmaid and not the MOH. I was her MOH on her wedding day. I wanted her to be a bridesmaid for mine, it was special and sentimental.

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated December 2019
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    You could have co-MOHs. Your sister and a friend if you really think your sister will not be able to handle all the tasks on her own. Also, think about your wedding pictures. In 50 years will you be happier to have your sister standing next to you or someone else?

    • Reply
  • Kristin
    Just Said Yes March 2021
    Kristin ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think she is important. I think who is closest to you makes the most sense.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Champion June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you can be too old for such a role
    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Dedicated November 2020
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    If you don’t think she’ll have your back on your day, don’t pick her as your maid of honor. I’m going back and forth on my maid of honor.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    Too old for MOH is not a thing. Also, it's not a job nor does it require "qualifications". You pick your MOH because she's your closest friend or family and you want to honor her. That's all. If that's not your sister, pick someone else, but don't make up reasons why she can't do it.

    • Reply
  • Desiree
    Beginner October 2020
    Desiree ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I definitely don't want my sister to be heartbroken. I know if I don't ask her she will be affected. Especially since it's only us two as females in the family (of course beside my mother).
    • Reply

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