SIL & Bridal Shower

There is bad blood between my SIL and I, and I invited her. She didn’t come or acknowledge my shower, but I felt like the bigger person in the end. If it doesn’t hurt, why not send her an invite. Then you eliminate any awkwardness, and the decision is on her to come. Why weren’t you invited to hers?

For most bridal showers I've attended the guests are female family members of both the bride and groom and close friends of the bride who will be attending the wedding. I think its weird that you were not invited to hers! I know my shower invites will consist of FH's sisters, aunts, cousins, my sister in laws, aunts, cousins and then friends!

I'm not sure why I was not invited to hers. I didn't know anything about it until I saw a status she posted on FB (I just shrugged it off)... I did get an invite in the mail for the wedding and I attended that of course...

Im in the same boat as you are sweets. my FBIL's wife and I do not talk at all, but i feel like since FH's sisters are coming all, that i need to invite her also. I doubt she will come though because they just backed out of his surprise party for tmrw night, so I really cant imagine her coming and bringing a gift!

invite her. if there is no bad blood, i dont see why it would be awkward. i think it would be more awkward to not invite her regardless of how she handled hers.

FutureMrsT., I think it’s weird you weren’t invited to hers. Was MIL? I would invite her for the simple fact you would be the bigger person. Good for you for shrugging it off though. I probably would be really upset and hurt, you have the mature attitude.

Yes MIL was invited to hers...

FutureMrsT., and MIL hasn’t said anything to you? Honestly, I would invite her, just for the simple fact that you’d look like the bigger and better person. BUT if there is no room for her, oh well. She’s the first person to get cut if the list starts looking too big. You shouldn’t feel obligated to invite her.

Thanks Lindsay! I never thought of that...MIL didn't mention it to me either!

How long ago was her shower? Was it before you & your FH were engaged? I don't think it would be that weird if you weren't invited to her shower if you weren't engaged yet, I guess.

But I agree with PP's. Definitely invite her, especially if you are inviting other members of FH's family.

Kinda have to invite the in-laws

We weren't engage yet...but we've been together for 11 years... her shower was around January 2013...from FH family I'm only inviting his mom and 1 cousin who is a hostess...

FutureMrsT., if you are close enough with MIL I would ask her what’s up. I just think that’s weird. Is your FSIL competitive with you at all?

No she isn't competitive and I wouldn't say MIL and I were all that close but we have a good relationship (that was a typo in initial post). But FH and I seem to be much closer to my family as far as spending time together and hanging out. He never really initiated that relationship with his brother (as I did with my fam). But at times I get the feeling he wants me to do that with FSIL...but the vibe isn't there...she is a very nice person. But we seem to be very different. She's 5 years younger...so not a whole lot in common.

FutureMrsT., interesting! What is your gut instinct about inviting her?

I would at least extend the invite... if she doesn't attend then you may not miss her LOL but at least you were kind enough to make the effort. Also- this is a question for other brides as well... but does the bride usually extend invites for the shower? I thought the host is supposed to do this but probably would ask the bride for a list of who she would like to attend etc.?

Lindsay-my gut tells me I should atleast extend the invite :/

Kelsey-the host is sending the invites, but she asked me for the guest list.

FutureMrsT., then that’s what I would go with : )

Invite her.

We just lost my brother's wife and we were not close but she was invited to everything. She made her own choices to attend or not.

Some day you might not have the option of inviting her...

I would at least invite her. I am inviting my FH's aunts to mine even though we've only met once like three years ago. He's not particularly close to them but I feel like since they are his family they should at least get an invite. I am also inviting his sister. She lives with us but we are not close and she spends most of her time at her bf's house. She never comes to anything I invite her to, but I still extend the invitation none the less.

Edited for spelling

I'd invite her....Like everyone else. You'll look like the bigger person. If she comes yay, if not then that's ok too...