Significant others of wedding party.

Alright I think I have my answer. We will find out who wants to be a part of our extended weekend before booking, and go from there.

View Quoted Comment I know for sure 6 or the 8 would because we as a group take trips together.

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That doesn't make it ok to not invite the SO's to the rehearsal dinner. It could even make it worse. These people with whom you are extremely close, don't get invited as a social unit to the RD? The RD is to thank the wedding party for their time spent rehearsing, time that you have taken away from others in their life. Your idea of thanking them is to take them away from their SO's even more by not inviting the SO's to the RD?

View Quoted Comment I was being sarcastic about the giving orders part...
We're getting married at a very nontradional venue on a tight budget, so there's a bit of DIY involved.

One of the guys will be driving a golf cart to shuttle a handful of elderly family members that are unable to walk between the parking lot and the venue. He doesn't drink, and its only 2 older couples, before anyone accuses me of ruining his whole night.

One of the girls, who I've known for years and trust more than much of our family, will be handing tips to the vendors.

Our venue is 1-2 hrs from most people's homes, so most of the couples will drive together. We'll be spending a few hours before the ceremony setting up the reception. So a lot of them will be either standing around with nothing to do for 2 hours, or getting involved. There's no cell service at our venue, so there's really not much else to do. We'll be buying everyone pizza for lunch (ceremony is in the late afternoon).

Most or all of our wedding party will camping at the venue after the wedding, so they'll be around for a quick cleanup the next morning. We'll be getting everyone that stays breakfast.

If the SO's don't want to help, they obviously don't have to. All of them have told me time and time again that they want to help.

View Quoted Comment Also they aren't banned from the dinner or anything. Just most of them work odd jobs, so I'm not going to make them drive an hour or more and take off work when they don't need to rehearse anything. We're also not having a formal rehearsal dinner, its probably just going to be whatever we can cook ourselves on a bonfire.

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They are still not invited. It should be their choice whether or not they want to drive.

Id suggest AirBNB so the BP can stay with their spouses. they will likely travel together so they need to stay together.

I'd let the bridal party decide for themselves if they'd like to stay in the room you've comped. If they would like their SO to come the whole time then they can pay for their own room. I'd spend the one night with you for your bach party, but you best believe that if you're asking my fiance to travel far enough to your wedding to warrant getting a room for the weekend that I'm going to be spending the night with him if he's there. I don't like sharing hotel rooms in general, even with people I like (who aren't my fiance). If my friend asked me to spend the weekend in a 2 queen bed setup with 3-5 other girls, I'd politely decline & book my own room even if my fiance wasn't able to come.

View Quoted Comment There is a lot wrong with this comment...

I'd designate two rooms as the day-of-get-ready rooms, but have the couples stay together until that time.

We are having a beach wedding and we are renting a house big enough for the wedding party plus significant others to stay in (if they choose). We are paying for two nights ( Friday-rehearsal night and Saturday-reception night) but everyone else is paying their share to stay in it Wednesday and Thursday. Those two nights will be like a mini bachelor/bachelorette party. We are opting out of a traditional party and instead having a couples celebration the two nights before the wedding. That way everyone can ride down together and do not feel like they have to stay in the house without their significant other.

I definitely say let the couples stay together if it's a vacation-style wedding.

Also, to Tara's comment about SOs not being invited to the rehearsal dinner. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. I was *just* discussing this with a friend. I was a bridesmaid for a wedding and my SO was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. It really made me mad, and also made my SO upset. We had already been together 10 years at that point - it's not like he was a new boyfriend, and he knew the bride and groom very well. The wedding was a formal affair on NYE in a major metropolitan area. My SO got stuck having dinner alone that night because he was specifically not invited to the rehearsal dinner, which of course I had no choice but to attend. (Incidentally, one of the bridesmaids brought hers anyway which really ticked me off) I felt it was SUPER tacky. It's really just respectful and considerate to include the SOs of your bridal party, IMHO. It's fine if they want to go out with the guys elsewhere, or do something different, but I think it's important to offer the opportunity to attend.