Significant Others of Friends

It's not a matter of etiquette. It's a matter of courtesy.

If someone asks me if so and so can come then I will tell them "we will see" Since I do have a tight budget.

If the friend asks directly of their SO of 2 weeks can come, I don't see the harm but if it ends badly for them looking a pictures would be weird

Jess, if you're going with that argument, consider this: My mom married a horrible man, but because they were married, he was in my sister's wedding pictures. They divorced (thankfully) years later, but he's still in the pictures.

No, etiquette does not say that "every guest must be invited with a plus one". Single guests who are not in relationships do not have to be invited with a date. They can be invited on their own.

But that's not what we are taking about here. The OP specifically said that these friends were now in "relationships". That is not the same as single guests who casually date once in a while. Even if they have just started those relationships now, her wedding is 5 months away and, if they are still together then, that is a significant amount of time.

She still has time before invitations are sent for a December wedding. If they are still together when they are sent, inviting those SOs is polite and the right thing to do. There is also plenty of time before the wedding for her to meet the SOs.

Okay, I would just think they would be awkward to look at if I was dating that person, I know break ups happen. Don't get me wrong, but if I had gotten invited to a wedding when I first started dating my FH I wouldn't expect there to be a plus one and if there wasn't I wouldn't care. Neither would he.

I think if its an intimate wedding you should know SO's so I would invite them, but other than that, I really don't see a need to invite a plus one for EVERY single person. only people you KNOW who are serious about each other (why I mentioned 6months. My FH and I were serious 2 months in.

I'm just saying, if money is an issue don't worry about it

I'm a firm believer if you are inviting someone you really should no matter what the case give them a plus one. I though had very close friends and family at my wedding. I would have to ask if you haven't meet their significant other how close of friends are you? Close enough to really have them at your wedding????

I originally offered my advice on how I did it just to be helpful if I could be and share my own experiences but this post turned negative quickly in that everyone thinks their way is the "right" way.. In my view it's better for OP to have an idea of how everyone else did it and to then base her decision off her guests and her friends... The truth is there is no right way! The way I did it worked for me and my guests but that does not mean every wedding is the same or that every bride should feel like they have to do something if it doesn't fit them and guests! At least op has a variety of suggestions and I hope she finds one that suits her wedding best!

Blue one 4 - This post hasn't become negative. Not everyone agrees, but there's no crazy name-calling going on.

Besides, everyone thinks they're right. Everyone has opinions.

Fh moved across the country to be with me 3 months into dating. One if my childhood friend's parents got married 2 weeks after meeting eachother. I hate this idea that some of you ladies think you can put a timeline on someone's relationship to gauge seriousness.

I world never go to a wedding alone and I wouldn't expect my guest to either. I accounted in my budget a date for everyone and if I didn't want to include a date for them they must not have been that important to me and they didn't get an invite at all.

I agree with Blue one 4, it did turn negative, but I also agree with Emily, the OP could definitely meet her friends SO and if they are still dating by the time invites are sent out, put THEIR name on the invite as well.

For instance FH cousin Angela is dating this guy Doug and has been for quite a while, we would put both names on invite/as a plus one for her.

If someone has a bf/gf every other week I wouldn't bother.

I hope that helps and doesnt offend anyone.

If it was me, I would invite them. I have a friend who's with a different girl every other month, and he believes he's in love with each one when it happens. I told him he's welcome to bring whoever he is with at time. It's just a matter of courtesy. This is someone he cares about, and I want him to bring her, even if he might be with someone else next month. I keep hoping someday, I'll get to meet THE girl, and I'd feel pretty guilty if she ended up being the girl I didn't invite to my wedding.

That said, I totally understand if you need to draw lines so you don't overbook your venue. But if you have room, I have to agree that it's not your place to judge the seriousness of some else's relationship and they should be invited.

EDIT: There are perfectly good reasons why someone wouldn't have met a friend's SO. Most of my good friends are out of state. I know some of them are in relationships, but they are only people whose names I've seen on FB, nothing more. But I'm inviting them, and if some other SO pops up I didn't know about, I'd invite them too. I want to meet the people my friends care about and might even end up spending their lives with. Of course, I'd invite them!

In reality- yes, you should invite them. It will make the event much more enjoyable for your friends.

In practise- sometimes people's budgets are too tight and they have to cut the guest list. Be realistic with yourself, can you invite a significant other for everyone? Is there something that you can cut in your budget to do so?

I see it as an important part of hosting an event so I've made sure that everyone was invited with a plus one, but if you can't make it happen, find a solution that is equal to everyone.

This post did not turn negative. What is with some of the newbs on here lately?? We can't even have an interesting discussion - with differing view points or perhaps lively debate - without them complaining and whining? It's ridiculous! This is an internet discussion. Stop being so darn sensitive and let it go. This post isn't even negative!

So another thought is this. If the person hasn't felt comfortable enough to introduce their SO to the group of friends aren't they declaring it isn't serious enough?

My situation is different. I let a groomsman have a plus one even though he wasn't with someone at the time the invites went out. He since has started dating someone and invited her. It's a fairly tight group, we all live within 15 minutes of each other. Now he is inviting this new girl who nobody knows. It's awkward but I blame nobody but myself.

Why is it awkward to meet a new person?

Im gonna just say this... Your wedding, your guest. Its your guest list and invite who u please. Some may get offended and some may not get offended. U know your family and friends better then we all do.

I am the bride who asked this question. The reason why I have not met our friend's girlfriend is because he goes to grad school in Southern California while I live in Northern California. I also found out through Facebook about it. Out of the 150 guests we have invited, there are only about 6 of them who are single; they do not have a plus one for budget reasons.

Also, we have a Chinese banquet; they charge per a table not by the person. It is 10 people per a table; the only issue I have is that if we do get another table, and it is not filled up, we would still get charged the full price. I have friends whom I have known for a very long time (we are still in touch but haven't seen each other in a while) who won't even be invited because of budget reasons.

It is rude to break up a social unit. This means dating couples, engaged couples, married couples, living together couples, and couples that have been together less than 6 months as well. It's no ones responsibility other than the individual couple to decide the seriousness of their relationship.

I think it's rude. They may not? You do have time before your wedding I'd say if they are still together in a couple of months she should be invited. I guess the worst that could happen if you don't invite her is he will get offended and decline.