siblings in law in the wedding party

No, have whoever you want in the bridal party. I've seen people not include in laws.

Nope. No one says you have to have family in the wedding party, or even the same number of sides. I'm not having my fSIL in my WP but that's because I loathe the child. Put those who know you and have stayed with you in your life - don't feel any pressure to put someone you don't want to in it.

Thank you! We get along well, but she's 8 years younger than me and we're not CLOSE at all. I just don't want her to feel bad. We asked her to do a reading, I just hope she doesn't see it as a consolation.

I am in tbe same situation but she is 10 years younger and we sre not close either. We are not including her or her fiance and we havent been asked to be a part of theirs either but I am sure we won't be. I also dislike when weddings have a ton of people standing up with them too. We almost did what my brother and sister in law did which was to have no one because the wedding is all about us anyways. Good luck and do not feel bad at all...this is your day!

I think since your husband included your sisters husband -it would have been nice if she wasn't the only one left out. Being the only 1 of 5 to be left out sucks.

I'm sorry but I think it's rude to not include her in your bridal party especially just to have even sides. You don't want to start off joining families by excluding your FSIL it's just not nice.

FH sees my brother as his own little brother and really gets along well with him. He asked him to be one if his groomsmen. I still haven't officially asked any of my girls, but I already know I'll be asking FSIL even if she's 6 years younger. Honestly I like the kid alright and better save myself the troubles. I only wanted 3 people but now I'll have a 4th.

My one FSIL actually declined being a BM even though her twin sister will be a BM. I'm sure she understands that you and her aren't close and you want people you're close with up there with you.

I agree that I don't think it is nice to include all the other siblings and their spouses and not include her. Your sides don't have to be even and if I was her I would be hurt too.

Normally I say have whoever you want on your bridal party. However in this case when it's super obvious she is the only one not included, I would ask her to be part of it. I know my feelings would kind of be hurt/feel left out if all of my siblings were included in a brothers wedding and I was the only left out.

I've always been in the camp that if you and FH aren't feuding with your future siblings-in-law or your own siblings, you should at least extend the offer of them being in your BP. I personally feel like that's just the right thing to do. And in this situation, I'd feel really hurt if literally every other sibling was involved and I wasn't.

ETA: I just saw your comment about doing a reading being seen as consolation. This late in the game, no matter what you do, I can guarantee it'll be seen as consolation. You're at the point in time where all you can really do is hope that this decision doesn't make things really uncomfortable between the 2 of you.

I think asking her to do a reading was a perfect way to keep her included but also equally makes sense since your not close with her

I think because all of your other siblings are included then you should include her too. I would feel left out if I were her.

I don't think you've done anything wrong. The BP is about the people you want standing beside you that day, and there are no "requirements." I am having my FSIL stand up but that was my choice. She wasn't asked to stand in her older brother's wedding and it wasn't a big deal.

Thank you for all of your input! To clarify, the sides aren't actually even. I have my one sister, two best friends, and childhood best friend (still very close, we just don't see each other often because we're in different cities now), so 4 BM total. My FH has his two brothers and my sister's husband as his groomsmen, so 3 total. I had already decided on and asked my BMs at the time that FH decided what he wanted to do for groomsmen. He's actually much closer to my sister's husband than either of his brothers, but he thought these 3 were a good solution since he has a really close group of 5 friends that he felt, if he asked one, he needed to ask all. So this way, he thought he's not hurting any friends feelings and he felt he had to ask his brothers either way.

FH and I both think that this is probably more so a case of MIL being upset that HER daughter is not in the BP and less that fSIL is actually torn up about it.

At this point (wedding 6 weeks out), if we add her, I'm not sure if she could still get the BM dress, and I'd feel obligated to then invite her to the bachelorette party , Etc

I would have included her given that all other siblings are in the wedding party. Sucks to be the only one not included. At this point, with only 40 days its a little late to ask her. If she is doing a reading then she is at least somewhat included.

I think the reading is a nice idea. If you also are concerned that it's more about your FMIL's problem than your FSIL, maybe have your FH talk with his sister about how she's feeling to get more clarity on the situation.

I kinda went through the same thing. We both decided to have 4 people each in the wedding party. My FH brother is one of the gm, and his sister felt left out. I'm not close to her at all, but I felt terrible, I didn't want her to feel like that , so now I have 5 Bm. Which is cool, because I don't like the wedding party walking together anyways. Oh , and my FH invited 3 more people to be his groomsmen, but that's another story.