Sibling wedding etiquette - is it ok to get married close to my sibling?

See, you are nicer than me. I would have picked the weekend right before her, lol. No, seriously, pick December of either year if you want, or July August of 2020. She gets bent about it? Oh well. There are other brides besides her.

This is perfectly fine. Under a month can be difficult with overlapping showers and such, though it is only a scheduling issue, not something for a bride to get upset about. One of my sister's and one brother married 6 weeks apart. A sister, a brother and I, and 3 first cousins who grew up within a mile , parents and kids close, overlapping school friends, all 6 of us within 4 years in age, married April to October ( ours last.) Never an issue for any of our huge family, though we all admittedly did a lot of snickering at a brother's FI and FMIL, and a cousin's FMIL, who took exception to the fact that our family ( not theirs) and our friends ( not theirs) would have been to so many weddings within a year that we would not appreciate the bride's ceativity and unique visions, or some BS, and the same people had fits later when seeing pics of all of the weddings, from 2 years ( yes more siblings and cousins) that mom and 3 of her sisters and two of Dad's, as MOB or MOG , wore dresses, 2or 3 of them each , to cover multiple weddings as aunt's or mothers of B or G. Oh my God, my mom wore the same dress to my wedding as to a cousin's 3 months earlier, and to my brother's and 2 cousins the year before. Horror of horrors. But , dear, I smiled and told my new SIL and her mom, I went to 26 weddings in those 2 years, in 9 of them plus bride, and wore only 4 different dresses to the other 16 weddings. From Alaska to Quebec to 2 in New England to Finland and England, if anyone had gone to all those same family and friends weddings ( no, only me and hubby.) 6 weddings in 4 countries in 1 year, I was a guest who wore the same dress to all. . . . My point is that people have to really reach to find anything that matters. Guests who wear a single dress to both type stuff. These obsessive people want unique, and are ruffled that Maggie Sottero did not burn the rest if their stick after their daughter bought one. So she would be unique. But the rest of the world treats each wedding as separate, and wonderful, does not thing about 2-4 in the same family as long as not a string of consecutive weekends. You get one day, and a few 3-4 hour parties, in a period of months. The rest is all in the bride and groom ( and mother's) head. There is no season for each wedding, for guests. More than 20 people I was in the army with married within 2 years of leaving. About 30 in my college graduating class, including me, married within 6 months after graduation. Years later, 21 that I know of from my grad school major married within 2 years of graduation ( including me.). . . These overlaps due to weddings following major school or job or military service periods are responsible for far more close together weddings than families are. Just not much of an issue. You owe no apologies for marrying 6-8 weeks before or after family members.

Me personally, no I wouldn't think it's okay to get married before them after their date is set and you are not engaged yet. I would never do that to my siblings or friends, but again that's my personal opinion but I guess that's what you are seeking. I think December is fine, that's 2 months after theirs.

Thank you everyone for your input. I appreciate all of the advice. Not an ideal situation but I'm going to try to make the best decision possible.

You can do what you want, whenever you want. Insecure people think that other people are "stealing the stage, thunder, etc". You may want to talk your brother about your plans but you by no means have to justify it. Happy people would be happy for your plans regardless of when they happen.

I personally don't think you should get married before them out of respect. My brother got engaged in August of 2018 and there wedding date is December 8, 2019. I got engaged on December 25, 2018. I always wanted a winter wedding but knew not to get married before them. Others may not agree with me but I didn't want to feel like I was taking their moment away. We were going to set a date a couple months after theirs in February, but we opted for May 2020. Mostly because we have so much family flying to Florida for their wedding I wouldn't want to burden anyone financially coming back down less than 2 months later. I know people say do what you want, and you should, but there's nothing wrong with waiting a little.

Definitely getting married after them is the kinder more considerate thing to do. Let them have their moment and then have yours. You can’t help that people are engaged around the same time and you are choosing to have a quicker engagement no one can frown on that. I would say just be considerate of them and especially that she wants to have her big moment let her have that. As you said that doesn’t matter to you but you do know it matters to her so just try and be considerate of what would also be nice for her. Also you don’t want to put a rift in the family that could possibly last for years. That would affect your future children and your relationships in the family.