Sibling wedding etiquette - is it ok to get married close to my sibling?

She might not like it, but that doesn’t mean that she’s right. I do think that scheduling your wedding before theirs is going to cause a lot more tension, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having your wedding 2 months later.

I don’t have an opinion either way. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your feelings on the matter but see your dilemma so to speak. I’m interested to see what others think.

I think your fine as long as you don't choose like the week of their or anything crazy lol Both December or July\ August sounds like enough time to keep them separate. But I will say keep in mind if your parents are helping financially it will be much harder on the to do It close together. If they are NOT helping then do whatever makes you happy! Do you have a good relationship with your FSIL where you can just call her about it?

I got married at the end of April in Mexico with 15 people celebrating with us. My SIL and her fiancé are getting married in two weeks, the end the of July, with a massive 250+ wedding. Our weddings are polar opposites and neither one of us could care less.

I don't see how getting married after them would be a problem. She'll have had her day and moment in the spotlight. I could see her getting upset if you did it before them as she might feel like you're trying to steal her thunder (not that I agree but I get how some people can be). The other thing I will say is that you can't live your life for other people. You have to do what's right for you and your FH.

She may get upset with you getting married before her (since yall would have a shorter engagement), but I don't think it's a huge deal. I don't think having a December wedding after her October wedding is a bad thing! My brother and sister-in-law got married 8 years ago, but it was one month after her sister and brother-in-law got married. Her sister was super excited to share the planning experience with her (but they are super close). Good luck! I think a December wedding would be so pretty since you can decorate with Christmasy things!

Do what you want. Like you said, your wedding will be totally different. The only thing you need to worry about is overlapping some of your family members.

We we got engaged a few weeks after my brother and his fiancée and are planning our wedding 9 months before theirs. She got annoyed, but eventually she got over it.

I think it’s ok to marry in December. If your parents are going to help you financially with it, just run it by them. Your parents might not like December due to how busy it gets with the holidays and gift buying. My brother married in December and it was fine, it though was tight for a few months and my wedding which was 6 months later went off well with no major cutting things majorly . Best wishes!

Why dont you just talk with her and express how much you want to respect her time. Tell her your basic plans-small wedding and would like to be sometime in the same part of the year and ask her what she would be comfortable with. She might really appreciate that you are thinking of her and not wanting to step on toes. Giving her a little say in it takes the guesswork and anxiety away
She cant complain if she suggests the date. You could always mess with her and suggest a double wedding to share costs. Lol

Do what you want for your wedding; don’t change your plans for theirs. My brother is getting married 8/24/19 and FH and I are getting married 10/12/19. Ours is small with 60 people; they’re inviting 150. We are all mature adults, so we are just respectful with scheduling showers, etc. Do what you want and if they flip out, that’s their problem for being immature. You could also do what PP said and ask her what she thinks before booking. I would give her the option of July/August or December though and make it clear you are doing one or the other, not waiting another whole year just to make her happy.

Go with what works best for your time and schedule. I don't think anything is wrong with July or December. Our best man got engaged before us and when we chose dates he was so adamant about ours being after his. We had two very different weddings and maybe he felt like he didnt want to look bad vs ours or something but in the end it really won't matter

Go with what's best for you! 2 months before or after your brothers wedding is ample time. Theres no such thing as a "wedding month, year (s) etc). As long as it's not the same week (I would even say the week immediately before or after is out just because theres a lot of lead up in those weeks), you are fine. If she gets angry, oh well! People.get engaged and married in short periods all.the time. You are completely right in not waiting, just to avoid ruffling a few feathers. And if anyone asks, just say, this is what we decided, we didnt want to wait.

I had a slightly similar situation with my SIL. We got engaged on a Wednesday evening last June. By Friday, my now SIL was engaged. It kind of upset me because we hadn't told anyone outside of immediately family before she shared (immediately) her engagement via Facebook. That was her prerogative though. She also chose her date before us. When we went to choose a date at our venue, the only Saturdays available that worked for us was the Saturday she chose or the Saturday after. We ended up having to go with a Friday two months before her date. Of course, after we chose the date, people said it would have been no big deal to choose the week after, but I know better lol. I think choosing July/august or December is completely okay! We only get one day. If they're the type of people to get upset about something like that, odds are they're going to get upset no matter what date you choose.

I do have to say ultimately none of it matters. I didn't express any disappointment in my ILs behavior and I'm glad I didn't. There was more to the story than mentioned above lol. Now it's over. I'm married and she will be soon. The day passes so quickly and then it's almost like it didn't happen! Just enjoy it and if she gets upset let it roll off your back.

I agree with PP's.. I could see how a lot more tension could be created if you all have your wedding before them, but I see no reason as to why they would be upset with you having your wedding two months later.

There is no right or wrong in this situation. If you want a short engagement, go for the summer wedding. Her opinion doesn’t matter at all for your wedding. The only ones that matter are you and FH. Your weddings will be completely different and it doesn’t matter who gets married before or after who. Let her be grumpy, she will get over it.

It is completely up to you and what makes you happy. I don't have the same exact situation but my FH's cousins is getting married this Sunday (7/14) and our wedding is 9/28 so just over 2 months later. Obviously the same family will be there from FH side has 2 weddings in 2 months and everyone is completely ok with it.

Just talk to her! A lot of my friends are getting married next year alongside me, we all have been in communication with each other even through the timing of our engagements to make sure no one felt like any toes were stepped on. Stop mentioning it to others so it doesn't turn into drama, and just talk to her directly.

I will say, if it's local, I see no issue and I'm sure she won't either! But if you have a lot of people traveling, she may have a right to be a little upset if it turns into people trying to choose which wedding to attend. If she's as prissy as you're describing, maybe she will mind you being married first. If you don't mind waiting until the month after, that might keep the peace better. But really, you won't know unless you ask her how she feels.

I would think the brother's fiance would be more upset if you got married before them, i.e. stealing their thunder.

Who cares if you get married after? Theirs will already be done, they will have had their big, attention-getting wedding. Once they are done, I wouldn't think they would care at all when you do yours.

But getting married before them could definitely cause some ruffled feathers. I'd go with December 2020.

If it were me, I wouldn't do it until after especially if my parents were contributing to both weddings and I wasn't even engaged yet. Obviously you can't claim an entire year for your wedding, but the few months prior to your brothers (maybe 2 months) they will be busy with final plans & showers & bach parties so they won't be in a head space to be involved with your wedding at all.

I think December sounds good. In all honesty. I wish you all the best, hun!!