Sibling Rivalry

Remove her from the emails and stop telling her wedding plans. You don't have to tell her every detail. Try to talk about anything but the wedding.

Also, rivalry.

Older or Younger sister?

She is younger, and spoiled. I'm the independent rebel child.

It can be frustrating when someone you love isn't being supportive. Have you asked her how she is doing lately? Your mother is right that she may be jealous. I know she's an adult and should act as such, but maybe with you being so far away and moving on with your life she is feeling abandoned.

I think when she comes you should set aside a private lunch or something for just the two of you that has nothing to do with the wedding. Maybe then she'll be able to tell you what's going on.

Ah. There you go. It is probably jealousy since right now the focus is on you and your upcoming wedding.

You have two options (or more other ladies may come up with) - do what Elizabeth said and remove her from general planning OR give her a call and explain that her attitude is hurting you. Explain that you want her to be a part of this but currently she is bringing you down and if she can't be excited/supportive of you then you won't include her in most of this. Have you talked to her to find out if maybe something else is bothering her? If you two are close - could she be afraid of losing her big sister?

We are close but I was in the military and have been away from home for many years. I asked her why she is being negative and she didn't have an answer. I talked to her about her negative attitude when she comes out in Feb and she said that she "will put on her nice person hat for the weekend but if you ask for my opinion I am going to give you my honest opinion".

This dress shopping things has blown up. My mom for sure wants to come out (and she is paying) which is great but my fiance's mother is coming and she is really pushy and my mom is stubborn so they will likely butt heads, my sisters negative attitude, then I will be wrangling five year old future step daughter and luckily I will have one of my besties here. I kind of feel like going out by myself, finding something I like and have my mom pay for it from afar but she is super excited about dress shopping. Then add my body image issues on top of it. ARgh

This dress shopping appt sounds awful with that combo, sorry . I would keep it short and try to go back out later with your mom and bestie later on if that's possible.

Can you go dress shopping alone or with your best friend first. Have it narrowed down to a few favorite dresses and then just go with everyone to make the final decision?

Hmm...

For the stressful dress shopping situation - can you go before hand with a trusted lady to get an idea? If you are worried about being bulldozed (and it sounds like you might be with that combination) I recommend going beforehand to get an idea of what you like/how you feel in dresses. This gives you the chance you confront your body image issues alone and avoid getting overwhelmed with all the ladies.

There is a difference between being away from home and getting married. Right now - you are still part of your core family (even if you dont' live there) with you sister, parents, etc. Once you get married you are starting your own family and that can leave some people in the dust. It sounds like she wants to be happy for you but this is just hitting her harder than she though.

Also...DANG! We WOULD have been date twins but my FH and I are pushing out wedding back a year!

@sugartango a year! I would die! I want to get married tomorrow and start popping out babies, dang biological clock. I think I will go out and try some stuff on.

I was going to suggest what Jersey Jen did. Go with your friend ahead of time and narrow things down or hell if you find a dress great. Then go with everyone and reaffirm your decision.

@Veronica: I AGREE!!!! I feel so disappointed to push it back a year BUT we have to adult and we just can't afford it in a year (plus a whole host of other stuff going on in my life). *damn reality*

We are going to speak with his family and if they will help even a little - we won't push it but we aren't holding our breath. >_< *grumble*

Yeah, I'd stop sharing details with her until it comes down the particulars that she NEEDS to know. Sorry she's being such a brat.

As to the dress appointment, is there any way you can change it to just be you, mom, and BFF? Your FMIL and sister definitely don't need to be there.

@sugartango adulting sucks. I have a final tonight and obviously I'm on here instead of studying

Thanks guys! I feel uninviting people would make things worse. I'm gonna take the advice of going shopping with my friend first and then again with all the poopoo heads.

Good Luck on your final and I hope you and your sister can re-connect about your wedding.