Should we invite guests that have invited us to their wedding?

No. Unless you have the room and don't care. But don't invite people that you haven't really spoken to in the past 6 months or more.

Personally if you haven't spoken to them in over a year then no. We had about 4 couples that we were invited to their weddings over the years that we didn't invite them to ours. We didn't have room and we wanted to invite people we were close to not just because we have to. And we also had one couple that we weren't invited to theirs but we invited them to ours. We have grown closer to them in the 2 years since we had our house.

It may be a little weird that you are going to theirs when yours is the same year but in reality after their wedding, you probably won't speak to them again. Or if you do it will be in passing since you have already grown apart.

No, invite who you feel you would like to have there. There are always people who will complain, but most people understand that different couples have different budgets, venues, more or less VIPs/family, etc. We invited some relatives to our wedding who didn't invite us to theirs. We aren't bothered that we didn't get invited. I have to admit I did add two couples to our list after one couple invited us to their wedding, but we had wanted them just weren't sure if it would be weird since we don't see each other often anymore.

Of course you don't HAVE to invite anyone. I would say it depends on who else from that "circle" you are inviting. If you invite all the people you went to the old friends' wedding with, but not the friends themselves, that could get awkward.

For the first person, is your wedding small enough that you could address it with her and say "Thank you so much for inviting us to your wedding! I'm so sorry that our guest list is mostly family and we won't be able to return the favor."

Thank you ladies! We are definitely trying to cut the list where we can (and certainly not add any more to it).. so this is all very helpful advice/information. I appreciate it.

@Staci -- unfortunately I think it is too big to say that--we are at 170 people right now.. our budget was for 150.. and we are having many friends there. HOWEVER, she and her FH would not know anyone at our wedding. We were friends in grad school and haven't really maintained consistent contact since then.

I was a BM in someone's wedding back in 2009 and we didn't invite her or her husband. I felt kind of bad, but we haven't really spoken in a few years. We just grew apart. I don't think you have to invite them.

No.

I invited people who I am close to, or old friends who I still consider to be important in my life, even if we don't keep in touch as well as I would like. I made my list without regard to which weddings I was or was not invited to in the past. I've gone to weddings of people I wasn't as close to, and didn't feel obligated to return the invite. Likewise, I've also not been invited to weddings of people on my list who did something smaller. We are doing a bigger wedding and I enjoy their company, so they get an invite.

I feel yes. If you are invited to their wedding, you should invite to yours. Just how I personally feel.

I had this dilemma when we were coming up with our guest list, the couple invited us to their wedding, and I've known her husband since first grade, but I NEVER talk to them, and we only became close when our best friend died...and my bridal party even said don't invite them, you never talk to them or hang out with them....so I didn't. Trust your gut

I have actually looked this very question up in some etiquette books. They said that if you were invited to their wedding in that last 3 years then you should invite them to yours. I went with that rule because I thought it was only respectful. BUT I also feel like you should be surrounded by the people you want there not people who are obligated to be there for some reason. I think it is a personal choice, go with what is right for you and your FH.

There are A LOT of old friends who's weddings we've gone to in the last 1-3 years that we did not invite. 1. We didn't have enough GL space and 2. We really don't talk to them that much or see them (if ever).

The FH felt the need to invite everyone whose wedding he attended throughout the years. However, only two couple out of the bunch accepted. IMO it is not necessary.