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Should siblings be allowed a plus one?

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Abigail, on May 29, 2022 at 7:50 PM

My brother is getting married. I am a bridesmaid. All of my siblings and his fiancés siblings are allowed to bring their SO’s to the wedding (ceremony and evening reception). I will have been in a relationship for 10 months at the time of the wedding and am not allowed to bring my boyfriend to the ceremony. It has been made clear to me by my brothers fiancé that my boyfriend is only invited to the evening. Am I wrong to be upset?
The reasoning I have been given is they have not met my boyfriend and no guests they have not met are allowed to tue ceremony. However, one of my siblings lives a 2 hour flight away and him and his adult son are both allowed to bring their SO’s that both the bride or groom have met before. Also her friends SO who she has met maybe 3 times in their 4+ year relationship is also allowed to the ceremony. I am the ONLY guest invited to the ceremony who’s SO has to come in the evening. Is this fair and do I just need to get over it?

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Dedicated November 2021
Elizabeth · on June 6, 2022 at 4:51 PM
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Agree with everyone saying they appear to be singling you out, and even if their "rules" were applied consistently which it doesn't seem they are, the rules do not seem to be appropriate by traditional etiquette standards (tiered event AND splitting up an established couple who should be invited together as a social unit).
It also seems based on some of your other comments like your FSIL expects to be able to exclude you / your boyfriend for no apparent reason and have you keep it to yourself. From what you said you weren't even complaining about her rule to her friend, just stating a fact that your boyfriend is not invited to the ceremony, and you still caught flack for it?! This suggests she knows she is being unkind and doesn't want to be outed for it (basically she expects to be able to mistreat you privately and not have anyone else find out about it - f* that!). I would def not want to be a BM for someone like her.
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