Should siblings be allowed a plus one?

Also to add, I have tried to arrange a meeting prior to knowing he wasn’t invited and it was met with no response from the fiancé. Said she would get back to me with availability on 4 occasions and never did. There is also time before the wedding where they could meet my boyfriend. In fact they met him this weekend!
Opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks!

In order to answer this question I have to ask…
How long have your siblings and their S-O’s been together?
I know that I wouldn’t want some rando that I’ll never see again that my sibling is dating in my wedding pictures…. Unless y’all are engaged or about to be, I can agree with not having them as your plus oneI know that I’ve dated people that I thought were my “forever” after ten months…. Not trying to be negative, just being practical

*typo
My other brother and his adult son are allowed to bring their partners who both the bride and from have NOT met before.

I'm sure I will be in the minority on this but while your feelings are valid, your future sister in law is not in the wrong . My fiance and I are not inviting anyone we haven't both met BEFORE we got engaged, not even at the reception.
My other brother and his adult son are allowed to bring their partners who both the bride and from have NOT met before: Did they meet via the internet? I ask because some people think it counts, my fiance and I even told those who don't live in our area that the internet was an option to “meet”. The reasoning is we only wanna see their face, we don't wanna get to know them. Did your bro and his fiancee do this with the SOs they haven't met in person?Question: you only mention the bride but what does your bro think? Like I said before, I agree with your future sister in law but his opinion matters too! Did he get a say on this? Or did the bride dictate this? Because it sounds like the latter is true... but it's his day too! If he disagrees with this rule, he needs to let her know but maybe he agrees or doesn't care?

Siblings are guests of honor, as are wedding party members. I couldn’t imagine not giving my sibling or WP a plus one, let alone not inviting their SO! It’s poor wedding etiquette to not invite significant others (regardless of the amount of time they’ve been in a relationship); it’s essentially asking others to celebrate your relationship, while disregarding theirs. And add to that the fact that you are a bridesmaid, so they are also expecting you to invest additional time and money to celebrate them. Their actions are judgmental, disrespectful and just plain rude. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this from a sibling and FSIL!

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Cece is completely correct.

I would also like to add that it sounds like they're having a tiered event (some people are only invited to some parts) which is also *exceptionally* rude.

View Quoted Comment Have to agree with this 100%!

You're a bridesmaid and a sibling, and you don't get an escort? That's not courteous, but I've seen it before. It is their budget so just keep in mind they can't pay for everyone and so they set boundaries. You do bring more stress pushing for a 10-month boyfriend when they have other matters to attend to. Ask yourself what you have to gain by pushing it. If you didn't get a friend, would you leave early? If not, just support your family.

It’s definitely rude on their part but I personally would let it go as long as they are allowing him to go to the reception. You aren’t going to be able to sit with him during the ceremony and it would probably just be boring for him anyway.

I think my issue is they are being so rigid with the “we haven’t met him” rule for me but not with our half brother and his son. They’ve not met neither of their partners and are unlikely to ever again as they are not close. Whereas I see the groom (my brother) and his family regularly and live nearby. Im actively involved in their lives. So they would definitely build a relationship with my partner as a result. Guests all know I have a boyfriend and as I said I will be the only person at the ceremony and sit down meal who has a SO who has to come in the evening.

I think you should get over it. It's not like they aren't inviting him at all. I'm guessing they have different guest limits for the ceremony and the reception if he can come to the reception. I've been dating my fiance for 10 months and if it was my brother's wedding I would be a little annoyed, but it's not that big of a deal since he can come later.

View Quoted Comment When I initially spoke to him he was very open to my boyfriend coming. Once he spoke to her he had turned 180, so I know she is the driving force in it being a no. Despite happily having me spend over $600 attending her bachelorette

View Quoted Comment This is how I feel! My mum and sister are upset by it for me too. They’ve both offered to pay for my SO if money was the problem (although we know that’s not the issue) and my mum has said it feels as though they’re singling me out but there is no budging from them. My FSIL actually sent me a really mean text this week because her friend mentioned my SO being at the wedding and I replied he wasn’t invited to the day.

View Quoted Comment So your FSIL sent you a nasty text because you simply repeated the rule that she gave you?! That is absolutely nonsensical. It truly sounds as though this person has a problem with you, and is singling you out for some reason. Which is weird since she asked you to be a bridesmaid. Are you close with your FSIL?

View Quoted Comment Then I would decline being a bridesmaid.

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Seriously , good luck to the groom if he is unable to stand up for himself when he disagrees with her!

While I said my fiance and I are not in inviting anyone we haven't both met before we got engaged (including extended famimy) , I forgot to mention that we told our guests whose SOs haven't met us, that they can arrange a meeting untill the RSVP deadline and we are not making any exceptions either. Sounds like the bride has a problem with you and/or your guy, probably your guy since she asked you to be a bridesmaid. Could your bro sit her down to know why the hell she doesn't like him?

It definitely sounds like they are singling you out for some reason and I definitely get why you're upset. I would be too since you are a guest of honor/bridesmaid. They aren't even letting him come to the dinner? If I were him, I wouldn't come at all as I would not feel welcome. However, I'm not sure what you can do about it. It looks like you've exhausted all options and pushing them more will only aggravate them further.

That just seems bizarre to me. They won't let him come to the ceremony (which generally doesn't have a per-guest cost), but they're ok with him being at the reception where they'll have to pay for his dinner, drinks, etc.? I'd be irked too. It sounds like you've tried to meet the bride's request that she'd have to meet your boyfriend, and that your family is confused about the bride's actions as well.

Personally, I couldn't bring myself not to attend my sibling's wedding, but I'd definitely feel hurt about the whole thing.

My heart hurts for you because this is so offensive. And I think plus ones are optional. But you don’t have a plus one because your partner is an automatic invite according to proper etiquette.


First, I’m really curious why she would ask you to be a bridesmaid when she clearly is not your friend in any way? That role is reserved for the bride’s closest friends and family, not obligatory in laws and childhood friends. What is your brother’s response to this? Is he aware this is happening? It’s bizarre to me that she blew you off multiple times and has different rules for different guests. That is the opposite of being a good host.
It’s highly disrespectful on her part to ask anyone to attend without their partner while expecting them to celebrate her relationship. It’s a touchy subject on WW but a plus one is a random stranger invited to entertain an unattached single guest while a significant other is someone the guest determines that they are with regardless of the time together and are invited by name. If a guest has been seeing someone 3 months and feel serious about their partner, that deserves the same respect from the hosts as a guest who is engaged or married.
I would decline as a bridesmaid and not attend the wedding. Meet up with your brother at another time because she has no love for you. Learn how to set and maintain boundaries so she doesn’t bully you after the wedding.

Your boyfriend is not a +1. He's your significant other. It's really really rude not to invite the partner of someone who had identified as being in a relationship, regardless of time. Who gets to determine how serious someone's relationship is?

They're basically disrespecting your relationship while asking you to come celebrate theirs. I'd probably decline.