The Bride
Master March 2019

Should Plus One's Be Reserved Only For Engaged and Married People?

The Bride, on August 16, 2019 at 9:03 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 34

It's no surprise that many engaged couples are burdened by their wedding guest list. MadameNoire recently asked the question, should plus one's be reserved only for engaged and married people? What are your thoughts? Sound off in the comment section below.
It's no surprise that many engaged couples are burdened by their wedding guest list.

MadameNoire recently asked the question, should plus one's be reserved only for engaged and married people?

What are your thoughts? Sound off in the comment section below.

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34 Comments

  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Thanks for sharing.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Why are you writing in all caps? It comes off as aggressive.

    I appreciate you sharing your opinion however, it's just that. Couples reserve the right to chose to adhere to the standard plus one definition or not to.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I think all couples, regardless of being engaged or married, should be invited together. Giving plus ones to single guests is a nice gesture. It's usually easier to enjoy an event if you have a friend!

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I agree that it is a nice gesture.
    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Jamie ·
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    I believe the only people “entitled” to a plus one are married and engaged couples. Venue and catering costs are too expensive to give everyone a plus one. Single people go to weddings all the time and it’s okay..I was one of them. My cousin actually met her husband at a wedding that she went to without a plus one. The only person I would give a plus one to is a friend of mine who won’t know any of my guests so I’d invite her boyfriend so she won’t be alone. But unmarried/unengaged cousins who ask for a plus one when they know a lot of the other guests who will be at the wedding won’t get a plus one.
    • Reply
  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I agree with you.

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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    I agree with this. We gave plus ones. My hubby had a single friend who was not dating anyone. He could have shown up with someone he met the night before at Applebee's and as long as she was clean and sober I don't care. I wanted him to be comfortable. He came alone, by the way.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Thanks for sharing.

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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    Allowing unlimited plus ones means you lose control of the guest list. One poster on WW wrote about how two single people each used their plus one for half of a couple.


    A guest could bring someone ex wife or ex DH of a wedding party member (or parent??), imagine how awkward that could be.


    If you stick with the traditional rule of spouse, fiancé (maybe live in or long term partner), you will know who is coming. You are NOT judging people's relationships, you are accepting their definition of their relationship.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    You make a really good point. My husband and I took the time to get to know everyones plus one before they showed up to the wedding so that we wouldn't feel like complete strangers were sharing in our special day.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    This is standard etiquette. If they are already an established couple as of the time at 3-4 months out when you are addressing invitations, they are already a social unit, and he other person is always I vited and invited by name. These are not plus ones. A couple may be together for 6 months to 9 or 20 years, without ever getting engaged or married. But when they are exclusively in a relationship with each other, whether like in together or apart, they are couples, not plus ones . And hosts should respect their relationships, not trash any that are not headed to marriage shortly .
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I don't agree with you but I respect your opinion.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    According to all of the common books of grammar and usage, and Chicago book of Style ( for writers, publishers), using a few words at a time, or a phrase, in all caps, is for emphasis, similar to using bold print or italics, which are not always possible. And only continuous longer whole sentences , and even paragraphs, are yelling. You are calling out a poster who is using caps according to the rules, " by the book "
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Despite all of the common books and so on, I did not feel that writing in all caps is necessary.

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