Should my sister's future in-laws be invited to my wedding?

I am having my brother's in-laws at my wedding and they are sitting at my parents/grandparents table. I don't talk to them all of the time but I still consider them my family... I don't think having them there will take anything away from you--they will probably be honored that you want to invite them and be very happy for you. That being said, I also wouldn't feel obligated to invite them since your sister is not married yet and you don't know them that well.

Think about this: if there is any guest attending who is not known to the majority of guests, that is no different from your sister's new in laws attending.... there are a LOT of people who won't know each other, and you don't worry about that taking the focus away from your ceremony, right?

It feels more like you may be worried he engagement will take the focus off your day, and become about being excited for her getting engaged...Are you concerned that everyone will be talking about her engagement if they're there? Because it would be a very nice gesture to invite them, and it is not going to take away from the focus of the wedding and your families coming together.. no one will be confused why you are there

We're inviting my brother's potential FILs to our wedding. My brother and his gf have been together for 5? years and I know he's planning on proposing. FH and I have stayed with brother's potential FILs a couple times while travelling. They're really friendly and love socializing and meeting new people so I'm not really worried about them feeling stranded in a sea of strangers, especially since we're only having 46 guests!

I doubt outside of some of the basic polite activities that people will be focusing on them. The focus of the wedding will DEFINITELY be on you and FH. You don't need to invite them to RD or any of the getting ready activities but an invite to the wedding itself could be a nice gesture.

Actually, I'm going to take the stance of there is no need to invite them. I have met my sister's in laws a handful of times and they are not invited to my wedding, only my brother-in-law is. Maybe if my parents really wanted them there I would include them, but if you're on the fence and it won't hurt any feeling to not invite them then I wouldn't worry about it. Also, you're a month out and don't need the added stress.

Being a month away from a weekend long destination wedding, I highly doubt they would be able to attend anyway. None of FH's siblings are married yet, but one of them is probably going to be soon after us. We have never met his parents, so I think it depends on your relationship with them, and if you want to. Personally I wouldn't want to add your sibling's future in-laws that you hardly know only a month out, it seems like a hassle to me. But if you do end up inviting them as a courtesy to them and your mother's request, then I wouldn't worry about it because unless they are retired with no plans and the kind of money to do a destination wedding a month in advance, they likely won't be able to go anyway.

I've met my FSIL's parents a few times and I simply don't like her mother. The apple didn't fall far from the tree... No one is asking us to invite them, and if they were we wouldn't. This is our wedding. Our guest list. Our choice. To feel like they're going to take something away from you is ridiculous though.

I suppose it would depend on how they fit into your life. She's engaged, not married yet and your parents only just met them so you could get by without inviting them.

FH has two married sisters and we are inviting their in-laws. I have been invited into their homes and have spent holidays with them, so it felt right to include them.

I think you may be worrying a little too much, but sounds like they became future in laws after the invites were sent out.

I don't think you have to invite them, but there are things to consider. such as will this really bother your sister, will her inlaws be upset where she and you have to hear about it forever?

it's just things to think about as you weigh in on your decision. I dont' think you need to do anything you don't wish to in order to please others. just decide on what is going to be best for you.

if it was me and there was room, I'd invite them as long as I liked them. as for stealing focus, that's a hard call. I know of someone that was at a family wedding and they had just gotten engaged. since the mom lived far away,there was next to no other chances to tell her in person. they gave her the news of the engagement on the the wedding day. it was done in private, and it didn't' steal a moment of focus away from the bride and groom. was just a few minutes in the lobby, some crying and congratulations, then it was on to the wedding festivities and not another word of the engagement was mentioned until weeks after the wedding.

whether you invite these people or not, I'd me more concerned that your mom may want to announce the new engagement at your reception, I'd focus on that myself!

Thank you for all of your input. I suppose my angst is rooted in the feeling of jealousy. My sister's future in-laws are still married (my in-laws are divorced) and very outgoing (mine are reserved and introverted). I love my future in-laws but that is not their way. I wish my mom expressed interest in getting to know my future family as much as she has my sister's. I suppose that is why I am feeling jealous. I should probably just push it aside and be happy my sister is getting such a great family.

Well now you have an opportunity to have a good relationship with your sister's In-laws as well... I have a better relationship with my brother's in-laws than my own FIL's. Just the way it works out sometimes.

It just depends on your relationship. Given that you have only met this once, I don't think it's necessary to invite them. We invited ONE of my sister's in-laws...but they come around all the time and have us over and really have become part of our extended family. We DID NOT invited my other two sisters' in-laws because they are more like your scenario.

Don't worry, your day WILL be about you! Your sister may be congratulated on being newly engaged but that will not take focus away from your happy day. You are allowing the feelings your having to run with your imagination. Focus on you and your FH and nothing else will matter!

If you can, I would fit them in.

Who is paying for the wedding? If you're parents are paying for everything or a big bulk, then invite them.

If you and your FH are paying that's a different case. FH and I are paying for our own wedding and we aren't inviting my sisters in-laws and while we were at my FSIL's baby shower, her MIL tried to invite herself to our wedding; needless to say an invite was not sent out to her.

I am inviting DH's sister's MIL. We are one big happy family..... I wouldnt invite yours though since you only met once. I am also inviting my Uncle's wife's mother. My aunt's ex husband and his new wife are invited as well. This is getting weird as I type it.....My parents are divorced and we still have Christmas Eve all together. Now that my dad is passed my step mom is invited to all my mom's families events. It works for us. I would invite them if you want to get close to them and plan on seeing them often once your sister is married. If not I wouldn't worry.

@Rachel, just remember you're gaining new in-laws too.... My parents are SUPER close with my brother's wife's parents and other children, and now I am too.... they are like cousins to me now, more than "brother's in-laws". With time, as you get to know them, rather than feel jealous of your FH's family and your parents not getting along as well, you are likely to find yourself feeling part of their extended family.

Even if that isn't the case, kudos to you for recognizing the root of the situation, and dealing with it head-on. Your sister isn't at fault, and it would be a lovely gesture to at least *offer* to include them in your day. Frankly, with last minute travel being so expensive, and work commitments it's probable they can't come anyway - but the gesture will be greatly appreciated by your sister, by them, and your parents, so do it if you can.

I've been wondering this too. FH's SIL's mom goes to church with us every Sunday and his SIL is in our Wedding Party because I've gotten really close to her over the last year, but I'm not sure if I should invite her mom.

We're inviting my brother's in-laws and FH's SIL's parents. We're inviting FH's SIL's parents because their 2 granddaughters are out flower girls, plus we're always over in the summer tubing, going on their boat, and hanging out! My brother's in-laws we don't see very often, but we just thought it'd be a nice gesture to invite them.

Edited: we're not inviting SIL's in-laws because we don't know them (met them once or twice), plus they live 2 hours away.

Are you close enough to your mom that you can mention her enthusiasm for getting to know your sisters future in laws, compared to your own future in-laws? Your mom may not have realized the different way that she is treating the future in laws for both of her daughters.