Should i postpone, cancel, move up..or what?

Since you are already really close to your date and have made alot of deposits and spent alot of dresses and things gotten. But sweetheart only you both have to make this decisions I know that you need advice but this something you 2 have too talk and figure things out

Hi, I am so sorry for all the stress and for your loved ones. It might stress you more to move up the date, or it may be a relief to not have a larger wedding. Either way, unless you have a planner, you have to be on top of your BM. They should understand and realize they need to take care of their own responsibilities. I hope everything works out.

I don't think you should scrap the whole thing. $5,000 for all of that really isn't too high of a cost compared to the prices for a lot of venues/ vendors. If you're able to coordinate all your vendors and the venue to move up your date, it's something you'd be ok with, and you could get your bridesmaid to order her dress in time, I think that would be a nice idea. But if that's going to be too much stress then I wouldn't do it. You have enough on your plate with your family members' health issues.

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You could have a small ceremony now so you FIL and grandfather could see you get married. It may be an extra expense, but that way they'll be included no matter what and your planning and deposits don't go to waste.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I can't even imagine. Have you considered having a small and intimate ceremony with only your immediate family and getting married then? You could still keep the other date to have a reception and celebrate with everyone else. This way you can have your FIL and grandfather there in case they wouldn't make it to the actual wedding date. You don't have to make it a huge thing. Grill out. Make a dessert. Or even, get dressed up and JUST take pictures with them in "wedding" attire.

I don’t know how things are where you live but it may be very difficult to find a new venue with only four months to go or move it up sooner. Many places were booked up when I venue hunted back in August. Similar for caterer. The prices of the venue and alcohol you found sound very reasonable. A tent is not cheaply rented and even then…you have to have a location to set it up.


I would keep your venue and reception plans the same but speak with your families and especially FIL to see if an intimate ceremony is something you and the family would like to do.

I am the mom of a Sept 2022 bride. Your prices are fantastic! So do not worry about that aspect…if it is more than what your parents expected then you need a budget sit down asap. We live in a small city & we are easily paying double or perhaps triple for the items you mentioned. But my husband & I have had money set aside for awhile now & I think we will come in around or below budget. As far as a grandparent being ill, we can very much relate. But sometimes grandparents are able to hang in there if they know a very special event is coming. I think your FIL sounds like such a kind person. I wish I could give you a big hug & tell you it will all work out. My biggest question is how is your fiancé handling his father’s illness & wedding stress? It may not be a bad idea to postpone but just be aware there will be other things outside of your control in the future. If you and future hubby are on the same page, then go with that decision. I sincerely hope that whatever decision you make, you will be at peace with it! 😘

I'm really sorry for what you and your family are going through right now, and your stress and desire to just scrap everything is valid. Like others have suggested, perhaps you can get legally married now and have a small ceremony with your immediate family so that you have that chance to celebrate with them. I would keep your September date and have a reception then, and it can even be something for everyone to look forward to - families love to celebrate love. Of course, if it's not important to you to have a bigger reception, than you can scrap it, but the prices you have are fantastic in today's wedding market and you should absolutely go for it if the reception was something you've wanted.

In this day and age, getting everything you did for $5,000 is a steal! You're totally right in what you said to your parents. That being said, in regards to your FIL and your grandfather, I think the best you can do is wait and see. Your FIL has already told you and your FH not to change your plans. However, I know what losing a family member right before your wedding can do to you. I don't speak of personal experience, but rather on behalf of my husband. Eleven years ago, his oldest sister was diagnosed with terminal uterine cancer. His other sister was scheduled to get married on Labor Day weekend 2011. That summer, though, their other sister took a turn for the worst, and the doctors said it was going to be any day now. The bride-to-be said she couldn't get married without her big sister there, so they had a private (and official) wedding ceremony at a park with only a few relatives, including the dying sister. She then died eight days later. The couple went through with their ceremony a couple months later, but it was more of a celebration. Not to say you should do the exact same thing. Play things by ear by now, and if you get worse news about either your FIL or your grandfather, then go from there. Best of luck.