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Just Said Yes June 2019

Should I let him invite somebody that hates me?

Emily, on December 12, 2017 at 1:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 27
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My FH and I are working on our guest list and he wanted to add this woman that he has been very good friends with for a long time. However, she and I knew each other before I met him and we had a huge falling out and she still hates me for it. Like really despises me. Should I be inviting her to my wedding?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on December 12, 2017 at 9:19 PM
  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
    • Flag

    Why would your FH want to invite someone he knows you do not get along with? This is something you need to discuss and agree on with your FH

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  • Future Louie
    Super August 2019
    Future Louie ·
    • Flag

    I think you need to talk to your FH about your concerns. If I were in your shoes, I'd express to FH that I don't want this woman there who hates me and, I assume, wouldn't support our union. If she wasn't such a good friend, I'd just say keep her off the list but voice your concerns.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't. Even if he does if she hates your that much she likely wouldn't come.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    No. This is a celebration of the two of you and if she can't do that? Then she doesn't come.

    But seriously, it's 18 months away, It's far to early to work on a guest list as any more than a very rough draft.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    No & it shouldn't even be a thought. We have the same situation, one of FH, childhood friends and I do not like each other at all. She is not invited to my wedding.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag

    Kristin, should could attend just out of spite. Who knows?

    OP, as Celia said it's a ways off. I also don't understand why he'd want to invite someone he knows doesn't like you. If you don't get along, why invite her?

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't. And I'm also wondering why he wants to invite someone that despises you?

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Dedicated December 2017
    Kate ·
    • Flag

    Agree with PP, why would FH want someone there who hates you so much?

    • Reply
  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
    • Flag

    Why would you? And why would he even want to knowing the situation between her and his future wife, who is his priority?

    • Reply
  • Charli
    Expert May 2018
    Charli ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't. One of FH's college buddies always lashes out/says offensive things about me for no reason. He's not invited to our wedding and FH doesn't even invite him to our house anymore. FH does not put up with anyone that doesn't respect me and I would do the same for him.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
    • Flag

    Hard pass.

    • Reply
  • Mrs Robes
    Devoted October 2018
    Mrs Robes ·
    • Flag

    Why would he even want to invite this person? My FH certainly wouldn't and if someone I knew didn't like him, hard pass.

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  • B
    Expert July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    Not even a little bit.

    • Reply
  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
    • Flag

    No. I can see inviting someone you don't know well who is a good friend of his but not someone that actively dislikes you (or that you actively dislike). The only exception is if the is the SO of someone you are inviting.

    • Reply
  • J+J 2018
    Dedicated May 2018
    J+J 2018 ·
    • Flag

    Hell to the NO! You need to feel only love on your day.

    • Reply
  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
    • Flag

    If it were just someone you didn’t care for, I’d say suck it n invite per your FH’s wishes; but if it would make you totally uncomfortable...at your own wedding, then FH needs to understand that n get over it!

    • Reply
  • Beachy
    VIP November 2017
    Beachy ·
    • Flag

    I would strongly be voicing my opinion about her and her invitation. No reason to have someone there that hates either bride or groom.

    • Reply
  • Kelsey Brielle
    Super June 2022
    Kelsey Brielle ·
    • Flag

    No you shouldn't. Simple as that.

    • Reply
  • Bride2Be2018
    VIP January 2018
    Bride2Be2018 ·
    • Flag

    N. O.

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    What did you say to him when he said he wanted her added to the guest list? I'm assuming it's more than you've said to us, and what you said to us resulted in a resounding "no way". Is the issue settled or is it still ongoing?

    No, she should not be invited to your wedding. In fact, I don't know why he'd even socialize with someone who completely disrespects and despises his future wife. That's the big question here (the original question was easy to answer).

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