Should i invite my brothers "gf"?

Just as the brother to tell you what to do. He might want an excuse not to bring her. Whatever he wants you should do rather than guessing.

View Quoted Comment You are so welcome, and maybe he just sees things super logical? Idk but good luck and let us know how it turns out

I would let your brother decide if he would like to invite her as his plus one. While this might not be an ideal situation for him to be stringing her along, it’s not an additional stress that you should put on yourself in the midst of wedding planning! As you said before, he is a grown man and she is a grown woman. It’s sweet of you to worry, but you shouldn’t have to worry on YOUR big day.

As awkward as it may be, yes. The typical rule of thumb is to invite a significant other if they are in a serious relationship. A great way to eliminate the uncomfortable situation is to possibly address the invitation to your brother plus one.

My advice is to butt out of their relationship. You need to invite her. She's his girlfriend, identified to you as such by him. Everything else is irrelevant.

It seems as though you are taking your brother’s relationship personal. I understand you feel he is in the wrong. But it’s not your place. They are both adults and can figure their relationship on their own. I could understand if you’re afraid of drama or fighting. Allow your brother a “plus one” - don’t put her name on the invite and allow him to decide whether he wants a date or not. If there is possibility of drama make it clear drama will NOT be tolerated and if there is any those people will be asked to leave.

View Quoted Comment To be honest it's all about money. My fiance and I are paying for everything. My family hasnt offered to help us at all. We are only inviting 48 people. That's why I wonder if I should invite her. I could be giving that seat to someone else we actually want to invite. Do I really want to invite her if he doesnt care for her? On my side alone its 18 and that's immediate family.

Regardless of who it is for, if he is invited and you know he is with someone, he should get a plus one.

Of course she should be invited. He has chosen to still be with her and does take her to other family events. If you feel more comfortable inviting her as a plus one, then do that and leave the choice up to your brother. I invited my brother's girlfriend that I haven't even met yet and they have been together a couple of years. I would never think she shouldn't be there, because she clearly means something to him. We have to respect our siblings and the decisions they make for their relationships.

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The fact that you put gf in quotation marks makes me think you don't respect them. My brother has been dating a girl for 3 years. They fight all the time, they never seem happy together, and I highly doubt they will get married. But I still respect their relationship. I directly asked my brother if he was planning on bringing her. It's just best to be direct. Tell your brother the situation and see if he is willing to come alone, or make room for his girlfriend.

You have to create rules and stick to them. I wanted to keep numbers under 100 so we made adult-only. My cousins have a fair amount of kids. I would just say people who get to bring a guest is married couples only. My now fiancé friend did that back when we first started dating, they had like 200 people. I wasn’t happy about it. But oh well... life goes on.

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I agree. I also am having a small, 50-60 person wedding. If my brother had a mystery partner for 6 years, I would of course consider her included, but if he then spoke to me about how he isn't serious about her, and I thought he was dating someone else as well, I would have a heart to heart. For a normal, 150 person wedding, easier answer: stay out of it, invite her, you'll never know she was there. For a small wedding where you truly will know each guest: just talk with him. "Our wedding is really small and intimate. I of course put your partner on the list, you've been dating for 6 years, and I will keep her on there if you want her there, but I was just hoping to talk with you about if that's what you wanted since you talked about not really loving her. Is there something going on you are nervous to tell me about? Could you explain the situation a little further? Once again I of course will invite her if you want her there, I just am curious as to what's going on." Note that this is indeed super nosy, but you're his sister. If this is the sort of stuff you guys talk about, go for it. If you're thinking "uh wow I would never ask him that" then don't. Just depends on how close you are. Easy answer is invite her, if they break up by then tell him his plus one doesn't extend to someone else because your wedding is small and intimate.

I think you Should give your brother the invitation for her and ask him how he feels about her coming along, the last thing you want is for him to feel uncomfortable and if he already said he doesnt see a future with her, It would hurt her feeling more to meet allll the family at a very special event and end up not being part of the family in the long run.

If you don't invite her, that will be read as something that SHE did wrong, rather than something your brother is doing wrong. I would say, invite her- they've been dating for 6 years and it wouldn't make sense not to otherwise.