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Savvy June 2018

Should i invite an ex friend to my wedding?

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Damla, on January 29, 2018 at 3:13 PM

Going back and forth on whether or not I should invite someone that I recently stopped being friends with. We had a falling out about her birthday. She was upset with me about telling her I couldn’t come (saving for a wedding over here). She wanted to do a get away and had banked on a certain amount of people coming. I apologized, but it led to her commenting on how much money I make and how I should be able to save because I’m the only one with a full time job (we’re recent college grads) which eventually led to me ending the friendship (I don’t take those types of things lightly). I’m conflicted because I’m definitely planning to invite our friend group. I’ve been excluded from a wedding before so I know how it feels, I don’t want her to feel left out, and I don’t want our group to wonder where she is the entire time, but we haven’t spoken in a few months and our last conversation was very final. Should I invite her?

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29 Comments

Savvy June 2018
Damla · on February 2, 2018 at 8:34 PM
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No reason to invite her if she treated you like that! I’m sorry that you finding love ended your friendship with her
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Super September 2019
Will & Tiara · on February 2, 2018 at 10:59 PM
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No! And don't care what people think and don't gossip about it. Just say you both went in different directions and therefore she is not a part of your wedding. Period. No other explanation is needed!
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Savvy June 2018
Damla · on February 6, 2018 at 11:21 AM
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Thank you!
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Super September 2019
Will & Tiara · on February 6, 2018 at 12:45 PM
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You're welcome! All the best, Damia
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Super September 2018
Gipperkm · on February 6, 2018 at 1:22 PM
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It doesn't sound like you two are friends anymore, so why would you invite her? I think you need to ask yourself: do you want to be friends with her again? Would you regret not having her at your wedding? If you miss her and her friendship, then maybe try and fix things and then you can invite her if you want. If the relationship was toxic and you don't want to be friends again, then don't invite her.
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VIP December 2018
Ashley · on February 6, 2018 at 2:23 PM
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I'm REALLY struggling with this, too. My best friend of 12 years and I had a falling out (we're both at fault, really). We haven't talked in a while but she was always the first person I'd go to about everything, etc. But I'm not sure I could reach out to her and handle being rejected if she shuts me down. Let us know what you decide!
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Savvy June 2018
Damla · on May 25, 2018 at 9:54 AM
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I ended up inviting her against the majority of the suggestions in this post and we had a falling out-AGAIN! It is safe to say that she will not be coming and that I should have listened to you all in the first place 🙃 Thank you all for your advice, I could have saved myself a lot of time and stress if I had just listened lol.
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Just Said Yes November 2019
andthecity · on September 27, 2019 at 4:32 PM
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When one of my best friends got married, she didn't invite a friend from a mutual big friend circle but invited everybody else. I was one of her bridesmaids and did notice that the friend wasn't at the wedding. I asked if she was busy and my friend just said that "we did not invite her". No more questions asked from me and I don't feel weird at all. There could be a lot of reasons not to invite someone and any true friend would do nothing but be supportive of the couple's decision.
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Devoted April 2022
Amanda · on September 27, 2019 at 8:39 PM
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If you genuinely want to mend the friendship with this individual then, I would work on that and maybe invite her. But I wouldn't invite her to the wedding if you're not planning on being friends. Don't feel pressured or obligated that you need to invite this person if you truly don't want to be friends with her or be in her life.
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