Should I have a wedding? Or reception?

You wouldn't have a wedding ceremony, but could have a 'vow renewal'. Or yes, you could just throw the reception party without the ceremony aspect of it.

I think it's fine to have a full blow wedding in the case of deployment. Thanks to your hubby for his service!

I would be clear that you're having a vow renewal. Congrats on your recent marriage!

Thanks for BOTH your service. You've entered a life full of changed plans and waiting. Have yourself a wedding, girl! But don't try to fake anyone out - they'll understand.

I wouldn't try to pull the wool over people's eyes but you could totally pull off a vow renewal in front of them for the sake of including the family and friends. I love the idea of a reception and intimate vow renewal ceremony to include them. Deployment is viewed a little differently when it comes to eloping imo.

Thanks to your husband for his service and thank you for being there with him. Military wives don't get enough credit some days.

I agree with the vow renewal idea! Congratulations on your wedding <3 Prayers for your husband

I disagree with most.... everyone defines marriage and therefore weddings differently. Just because you are legally married doesn't mean you can't have the wedding you want. For many, from many walks of life the start of a marriage is the ceremony, not the signing of a document. So my point is... you can do whatever you want. And thank you for your family's service.

Thank you to both for your service's! I say plan your wedding and do what will make you both happy.

You had your wedding already. You can have a celebration of marriage party if you really want, but it won't be a wedding unless you divorce first. You need to be honest with your guests about what it really is.

Have a wedding ceremony celebration of marriage you can call it go for it you both deserve it

I disagree. There a lots of people who get courthouse ceremonies before having their full fledge wedding because they want to be married by a non-religious officiant (friend), have a designation wedding overseas, because of foreign spouse/visa purposes, etc. Have the wedding you want.

Planning a wedding/reception is fine as long as you're not trying to let your guests think you aren't already married.

Congrats on your marriage!

I recently went to a wedding a couple months ago for a couple that the husband is in the military. They were technically married a year prior, and everyone was aware of this. They still did the whole ceremony and reception bit, and I thought it was perfectly fine. Being in the military and being married to someone in the military is very tough, and it causes you to have to have different experiences than most.

I say go for the full ceremony/vow renewal type deal with the reception. You've both earned the day. Just because you're technically married, you don't have to miss out on having a wedding. I would just make sure everyone is aware you are already officially married. If that somehow affects how someone views you or your day, you're probably better off without them anyways.

Idk why but the last comment seems harsh. I think a vow renewal would be sweet and in my situation, has only been a small portion of the cost. If you want the big party with the ceremony? I say do it! We're doing a vow renewal next year I think because the church I grew up in and envisioned getting married in (my parents met and got married there) had some construction issues (the building is so old the wall with the big stained glass window almost fell over in a wind storm 3 months ago). So if things don't go to plan and we have to use the back up space, we will be doing our renewal. Bottom line, do whatever makes you happy as crazy as it may seem to other people. It's your life, not theirs.

It's your life, not theirs, to be sure Jeff & Michelle. However, once they involve GUESTS, then it's not longer just about them, right?

Gotta disagree with your statement @Jacks. It is NOT the guests life, it's only the Bride & Groom's life. However, it is the guests TIME.

OP, I think that in the case of a small wedding due to military service, you can definitely do a large ceremony. I honestly would not care if I went to someone's wedding and later found out they were married, if it was a case like yours. In this case it doesn't really affect your guests as long as you are proper hosts.

Have whichever kind of day YOU like, and you CAN call it a wedding. Most people will understand if they know ANYTHING at all about military life.

Thank you BOTH for your lives of service. Being a military wife/husband takes a special kind of person. Congrats!

My uncle and aunt got remarried/vow renewal/celebration of marriage, whatever you call it, on their 5th anniversary because uncle was deployed.

They went balls out, big church ceremony, she had a white dress (even though it wasn't technically appropriate), big reception, and it was a great time. They always wanted a big wedding, but couldn't pull it off at the actual time of marriage before deployment. Everyone had a great time! I'm not sure what the etiquette with the gifts was, I got them a small amount of cash.

I think you deserve the big day, celebrate it, plus if you're paying for it who cares?

I have a friend in the navy who is basically planning the same too.

This is what my parents did. My dad was being stationed over seas and in order for my mom to go with him they had to be married by a certain date. So they went down to the court house and got married and then had a wedding with their friends and family later. I say you are ok to have a wedding.

It's up to you how you want the day to be. Either way, you celebrate with your guests so you can technically have a ceremony/vow renewal and reception afterwards, or just have a celebration/reception party.

You know what? Screw those who say, either here or in real life, "oh, you're married, do a vow renewal". Do your wedding and do it exactly the way you want. No wool is being pulled, no lies are being told, and no one cares if you get legally married that day or not except for the four people who always come here and swear they would never go to a wedding celebration that didn't include a legal wedding.

Ya know what? Years and years ago, there needed to be proof that the bride was a virgin too. We've moved on from that graphically gross requirement, but somehow, there are still people who think you don't deserve a celebration if you had the audacity, for deployment, visa issues, health insurance or the ever present threat of the end to gay marriage, to get legally married when you do.

I say FQ#$^#^$ck em. Do exactly what you want to do. Have the party you want to have, wear what you want to wear. You don't owe anyone an explanation, you don't owe anyone a detail, you owe no one anything except a great time with great food, wonderful music and a kicking bar.