Should i have a bridal shower if I'm having a small intimate wedding?

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Hi there, I see you're new. I encourage you to lurk more and learn etiquette specific to weddings. It's not based on opinion or experience. It's actually based on pretty well-recognized and specific expectations.

It's rude to invite people to a shower without an wedding invitation.

You can still have a shower, just a small one with only those who are invited to the wedding.

I'm doing an intimate wedding (11 people) and would definitely refuse if someone offered to do an engagement party or shower. It looks gift grabby and rude. "They're inviting me to shower them with gifts but not to attend their actual wedding??"

Just because you can't invite anyone not invited to the wedding doesn't mean you can't have any shower. Just have one for your immediate family members from both your family and your FI's family.

We had 47 guests at our wedding and I had two small showers, one for each "side". Each one was only 7 or 8 people and they were wonderful. Having a small wedding doesn't necessarily mean you forgo all the additional things, it just means that they are also small.

If your mother and sisters want to throw you a small, intimate shower with just people who will also be at the wedding, it could be quite lovely!

Yes. It is rude. I'd be pretty offended if I bought you a gift and I didn't mean enough to be at your wedding.

Well, I’m having a tiny wedding with a larger dinner party for extended family later. Everyone knows who I’m inviting to the wedding and that it’s mostly immediate family. My aunts are insisting and asking about a shower—not saying I am going to have one necessarily, but it surprised me how eager they were. I think there are times where people want to celebrate. My good friends are also scheming with something—I have no idea what. I’ve said I don’t want anything—on the other hand, part of being gracious is accepting others’ wishes.

Only invite those whom you are inviting to the wedding

View Quoted Comment What did you do for your bridal shower? We are having a small wedding as well, 45 people. Looking for ideas.

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I hope you had a shower and didn't listen to these naysayers. You can do whatever you want. Let's be honest. The majority of people have a shower to get...dare I say it...gifts! When guests are invited to the wedding and the shower then they have to get you a gift AND a card at the wedding. Now that seems more "gift grabby" to me. Let's call a spade a spade.