Should i have a bridal shower if I'm having a small intimate wedding?

Rule of thumb is if they’re invited to the shower, they should be invited to the wedding. I would be offended if I gave a gift at the shower and didn’t get a wedding invite

Yes this would be rude. Essentially this says “you’re good enough to buy me a gift but not to attend my wedding”.

Yes, it is rude to invite someone to your shower if they are not invited to your wedding. It is very gift-grabby.

You could have a very small shower where just aunts, cousins, grandmas, etc. (the ladies invited to the wedding) are included though.

I'd also suggest hosting a proper reception after your wedding since this is a thank you to your guests for attending your ceremony. It should not be too expensive to book a private dining room at a local restaurant and take everyone for dinner afterward.

I inviting 20-25 to our intimate wedding so I completely understand wanting to keep it small but, you still need to properly host.

I would not invite people to the shower but not to the wedding.

One of the consequences of a small wedding is that you don't get to have all the extras, like a wedding shower with people not invited to the wedding.

Only invite ppl who are invited to the wedding

I think you already know it would be rude.

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That is very true. Thank you.

It wouldn't be rude. It wouldn't be you throwing a shower for yourself anyway. Many people would still want to be a part of your special time, and if they're close to you they will understand that you want a small intimate wedding. If someone wants to throw you a shower, they certainty can!

The only people that should be invited to a shower are people who are also invited to the wedding. If they really want to throw you a celebration, it would be appropriate if they threw a very small shower and just invited the other ladies who are invited to the wedding. Otherwise, it would be best to decline the shower.

We're also having a small wedding and my mom wanted to throw us a shower back home. I told her I didn't really want a shower so she's doing a party for us post wedding to celebrate so no one gets the wrong idea or thinks we're asking them for a gift.

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That's what my friend is saying. When people have destination weddings they know not everyone can attend, but they still have bridal showers and all. Something to think about, thanks for the input.

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That's a good idea, I would actually prefer that as well. Thanks!

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Just because other people do things in breach of etiquette doesn't mean it is appropriate for you to do it too.

View Quoted Comment But they shouldn’t have anyone on the shower list who isn’t invited to the DW. That happened to me once and because of it and because H was invited to the grooms bachelor party even though we weren’t invited to the wedding, we're no longer friends with that couple.

View Quoted Comment I am in a similar situation. I will be having a small destination ceremony with family, and then a reception with everyone else back home. Is it okay to invite the people who will be at the reception?

View Quoted Comment Yup! Definitely.

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If I was invited to a shower for someone having a DW that I wasn't invited to, I'm pretty sure I would stop talking to that person. That is gift grabby as hell.

My mother offered to throw a shower for me and I declined cause our wedding will be on the small side (around 40 people). There are upsides to having a small event but the downside is that you generally don't get the extras

As PPs have said, you can have a shower but it should only be with people that are invited to the wedding. How many ladies are coming to the wedding that you would want to invite? A 5-10 person shower will still be great! It will just be more intimate, like your wedding.