Should i change our decor in secret?

View Quoted Comment How was that relevant? Or just your attempt to be passively aggressive?

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh I’m sorry I came off that way and I now see how I did. I should have read your post a little better! I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I should have said choice number two.

View Quoted Comment Oh I’m sorry!! Lol that’s the thing about text sometimes it gets confusing! And Yeahh I ended up dropping it and use my energy for more important matters lol

I would ask one or two more times but if he says no I would respect it. My husband was very involved in planning too and I wouldn’t want to go behind his back, plus he would be hurt when he noticed I did. Not worth it in my opinion. Happy planning! 💕

View Quoted Comment Girl trust me I can and everyday he tells to let him but I don't want a camo everything kinda of wedding😂😂😂😂 not my dream I had as a little girl🤔💬🙅❤💁

If it’s something you really want I would talk about it again. A lot of guys have a hard time “big picturing” anything. The pictures you have are a little busy because of the background. They would look completely different in your venue and when you’re not right on top of them like these example, I’m sure. Is there a way to actually see this example in your venue before the wedding? My fiancé said no to a lot of things until he actually saw them and almost 100% of the time it was, “oh, that does look really good”. Like, I chose black for my bridesmaids colors and he said, it’s not a funeral! I showed him some inspiration pictures and he immediately said it was classic and looked so well with our theme and venue. Lol.

The feather in the hoop is cute. Maybe some smaller ones in the other? FH and I agreed that unless we both like something, it doesn't go in. So far it's working, but it's how we've worked our whole relationship so I'm hopeful it stays that way. 🤞

I say wait until your period is over lol and talk to him about it. You should both be able to voice how both of you would like the wedding to look and feel like. After all there is no I in TEAM and its give and take. Hope you can comprise and add a few touches of your own into your big day!

I think if you've consistently been compromising, I'd tell him that you really like the feathers and it would make you happy if there were a few at the wedding. It's Y'ALLS wedding. Not just his and not just yours. My fiance is very country and so I compromised on decor and we are adding some antlers into the table centerpieces. Not my personal preference but I've chosen most of the wedding stuff and I want his style to be shown at the wedding too.

View Quoted Comment That makes sense. And maybe he took the background in account also. I have to decided to let it go after I slept on it. Lol I was definitely being dramatic.

View Quoted Comment That’s a beautiful thing!! Talking it out with everyone I realized that I was being a bit dramatic lol and that I there’s other ways to personalize my wedding with something we both agree on.

View Quoted Comment Lolololol yes great idea! I’m on the hunt for other things as we speak. Lol

The ability to compromise without resenting it later, or saying yes then doing things your own way behind spouse's back, is absolutely critical for a successful marriage. Would you be happy if he told you he was going out with the guys, but hung out at a bar with a few women from work at a bar? If he picked out furniture with you and agreed on patterns, colors, style after some compromising, then changed the order back to what he originally wanted, behind your back? And you were stuck living with it?
I doubt it. I think if you stop thinking just of the wedding, and think long term about your marriage, you will want to do what shows him that he is your equal in marriage, and that there is mutual respect for each other, keeping promises and commitments, and telling each other the truth. The wedding is his as much as yours. Do as planned. Or find a third thing that is not the tall exotic feathers he does not want, but may add a different look, or texture, less exotic. If he agrees, that may work.

His having twice as many guests as you do is not a compromise; it's lying flat like a doormat. I know it's too late now, but next time you have something really big, make sure it's close to 50/50. He isn't the king of your marriage.

I would talk it over with him if you really like it. I think y’all doing everything together make it mean so much more. We have agreed every step of wedding planning.

I agree with others on here saying to drop the feathers because you don’t want to go sneaking something he already said he didn’t like; however, it is your wedding, too. If there is something you like or you want to incorporate that he would be willing to compromise on, you should talk with him about it. Like others have said, I wanted my bridesmaids’ dresses to be a wine color, but he didn’t care for it and preferred them to wear plum because he thought it matched his Navy blues (which are black) better. So, their dresses are plum. I had to redo the color scheme, but I found a way to work in the wine/burgundy with the plum and other colors. He wanted the ceremony to be in a church, but we couldn’t make it work from a logistical standpoint. Shoot, he wants to have a say in my wedding dress, but he gets to wear what he wants, so I get to wear what I want. Ha! Anyway, can you find a way to work in colors you would like with the colors he wants? Some of the styles or decor? Can you pick out food you like from the vendor he chose? Just speak up and let him know what you’d like and work on it together. It’s a give and take for you both. ❤️

That is awesome he is actively involved!! maybe you could both compromise on this one? I really like the feathers on the circle one but not so much the tall standing one. maybe see if he'll allow some but not all! best of luck

I personally agree with FH. But if it’s something you love just ask again. DO NOT CHANGE IT IN SERCET!!! It’s just a really bad way to start off a marriage, hiding something. It’s amazing that you have the guy in with you, 95% of us females are doing majority of planning by ourselves. If you start changing things behind his back he might stop wanting to help plan.

View Quoted Comment This is utter nonsense.
Having more guests isn't being a doormat. My cousin got married to a man who doesn't have many relatives, parents don't have brothers/sisters etc but we have quite a big family of several generations so she had a lot more on people there
What was she supposed to do, not invite her cousins (particularly nwheb we are all very close) because he doesn't have any?
That's stupid and would be completely selfish

I’d personally drop it. My fiancé has been very involved with the planning too and I’m trying to incorporate his opinions and ideas as much as possible. I love that he’s into it! He was talking to me a few weeks ago about table overlays 🤣🤣 he’s never said those words in his life so I just love that random little details are important to him. It’s his wedding too and I want it to say “Andrea and Brad” not just “Andrea” when people see the decor you know?