Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

A
Just Said Yes October 2018

Should i cancel my wedding? Please help!

AMANDA, on August 15, 2018 at 10:01 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

My wedding is in 2 months. Me and fiance have always had a pretty rocky relationship. We've been together 5 years and I have 3 children from a previous relationship. The biological father is not in their lives. So my fiance is their father. The youngest only knows him. We are completely different...
My wedding is in 2 months. Me and fiance have always had a pretty rocky relationship. We've been together 5 years and I have 3 children from a previous relationship. The biological father is not in their lives. So my fiance is their father. The youngest only knows him. We are completely different people. We dont see eye to eye on anything. Except that we love each other. That's never been a question. But he has serious anger issues. He verbally abuses me all the time. It's to the point where I cant take it anymore. Last night we had a HUGE blowout fight over him wanting me to do something a certain way. He's very controlling and I will not put up with it. We knew we needed help so weve been going to therapy for 4 months now and nothing is working or changing. My dad takes me to pay for my dress this weekend. Deposits are down, invites sent, bridal shower being planned, things are moving right along as they should be. I dont know if I can marry him. I was in an abusive relationship before and i cant do it again. I want to cancel. As hard as that is. Right now I feel this way. But I have a pattern of "thinking about it" forgetting how bad it can get and forgiving and moving on. I'm scared if I wait that this will happen and I'll be stuck. What do I do?
Show all

28 Comments

  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Amanda, I spent 15 YEARS in an abusive relationship. No one knew. I was ashamed. Please, PLEASE, CANCEL THIS WEDDING!!! You are strong. Wedding gifts can be returned, calls can be made, your friends and family will support you. You are thinking correctly, please follow through for you and your little ones. You are in my prayers.
    • Reply
  • M&M Bride
    Super September 2018
    M&M Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would cancel the wedding. You and your children deserve all of the happiness in the world. Please don't marry someone that you already know is verbally abusive. It won't get better. If you aren't already I would seek individual counseling.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Even while writing this post you know what you should do - if you're even thinking of canceling then you probably should.

    Don't worry about deposits and dresses because if you get married only to get divorced down the line not only will you spend way more money than what you'd lose on the cancelled wedding, but more importantly there's the cost of keeping your kids in an unhappy home which trumps any deposit you could possibly have made on the wedding.

    You know what you have / want to do. Now you just have to actually get the courage to do it.

    Good luck. Be brave.

    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted October 2018
    Allison ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If my fiance was doing that and nothing was working like you say I would cancel it. Do you want to put your kids through that or you? If it's this bad now it isnt going to get better just because you get married.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Marriage intensifies problems that were already there; things get worse, not better. You may think you could put up with it, but you need to think about your kids. No child should ever grow up in such an environment. You need to do what is best for them. Leave now.

    • Reply
  • HayMrsO
    Master October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    YES! NEVER forget that. You and your children deserve someone who loves you. You deserve to be happy! No amount of abuse is ever ok. Verbal abuse is just as bad. I feel for you. I have been in your shoes. You know what you need to do. It's going to be tough, but you can do it. Hang in there!

    • Reply
  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I do hope you return and read these messages.

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    AMANDA ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Thank you everyone. I have some serious thinking to do. I plan to take these next few days to do some serious soul searching.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics