Should I ask my future sister-in-law to be my MOH??

What responsibilities do you think the MOH has?

I'd skip the wedding party altogether if I was you guys. It sounds like you're forcing it a bit.

Responsibilities like helping me pick a dress and basically it seems like a lot of HELPING THE BRIDE. Planning the bachelorette party, things like that. Am I totally mistaken on MOH responsibilities?? I’ve never been to a wedding.

OP - the MOH's responsibility is to show up in the agreed upon dress relatively sober. Everything else is OPTIONAL.

Your MOH should be your absolute closest, best friend/relative. If you are not close to her, do not pick her. Just don’t have a wedding party, nothing wrong with that.

An MOH is a position of HONOR. Not an unpaid job title.

So should I have her be a bridesmaid but no MOH? Because I really have no one to pick. Can I have 3 bridesmaids but no MOH?

I'm not super clear on why it matters that "she's never been married?" Have the person who is closest to you, or no bridal party Don't ask someone out of obligation, that never goes well.

Kelly, I think it is perfectly find to have 3 bridesmaids and no MOH.

Malwen, I mentioned that because from the research i did, i was under the impression that the MOH has certain responsibilities that are just easier to contextualize if you’ve been married. It seems like everyone is telling me there are no responsibilities so clearly my research has led me astray

-There are no responsibilities

-Pick whomever you feel closest to

-Totally fine to have bridesmaids and no MOH, a MOH and no bridesmaids, or no wedding party at all.

Skip the wedding party if there is no one that your are particularly close to. It's fine not to have one.

I know I'm another generation (married in the 1980s), but there always were some responsibilities of a Maid of Honor. NOT paying for a bunch of stuff, but things like keeping the bride calm, getting things the bride might forget the day of the wedding, and providing general support in the time leading up to the wedding and the day of. When did this supposedly change?

And, it's difficult for me to believe that the idea of no responsibilities is what modern brides really think, as my DIL is in a wedding soon, and has had huge responsibilities and financial costs.

Linda, every human is different, so just because your DIL is a bridesmaid for someone with a ton of expectations doesn't mean every "modern bride" is like that. It's common knowledge that bridesmaids do those things like "providing general support" because that's what FRIENDS do. Bridesmaids should not be expected to take on huge responsibilities or any financial responsibility other than a dress (if that's important to the bride.)

Bridesmaids should be your closest friends and if you don't have those that ok. Bridesmaids are not a necessity.

It would be better to ask her to be a bridesmaid than MOH. You aren't close yet and shouldn't try to force it.

@Linda B....that has been my understanding of BM and MOH, also. Maybe we are from the same generation? Lol

MelissaHH, I do not have any close friends or family, but I can think of 3 people that are friends that I can have as bridesmaids, but not as MOH. Not my closest friends but still.

Responsibilities = Obligations.

No one is OBLIGATED to throw parties or plan anything for you. So I think that's what people mean when they say the MOH has no responsibilities. The only obligation is that they buy a dress and show up.

I also don't really like the idea of having parents in the bridal party...it's there day too, let them sit, watch, and be honored as the parents. That's just my opinion though...I know a lot of people do it.

That being said, if you have friends close enough to be BM, I'm not sure I get the distinction from BM to MOH...but that's just me.

I wouldn't have a wedding party. Nothing wrong with that and it saves a lot of detailing! My FH and I decided against? it because we wanted a private ceremony with just our parents. It's YOUR wedding day, don't let the image of a wedding make you do something you do not want.

I do get where you're coming from, it can be hard when FH has someone special in mind for his BM but that's kind of the case with me and my FI. We do have a bridal party, his consists of a BM and 5 Groomsmen and I have 6 Bridesmaids no MOH because like you I don't have a best friend, I also only have brothers no sisters so they are groomsmen. My bridal party consists of the girl to his guy...so example his two brothers and my two brothers are groomsmen so my two future SILs and both my brothers Girlfriends are bridesmaids...and before anyone says that's a bad idea both girlfriends have been around 3+ years and smooth sailing, one of my brothers just proposed and the other just got a dog together as their way of taking the next step. So I think I'll be okay haha... you can do what you want cause it's your day just make sure it's what you want.