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VIP August 2015

Shared engagement party with FSIL

8815wedding, on July 14, 2014 at 4:19 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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After talking about getting married for quite some time FH and I got engaged in April. This was somewhat unfortunate timing because FSIL had just announced she was pregnant, but FH had bought the ring several months prior and had the evening planned out so it went on as planned. Well, after claiming they would never get married, FSIL and her boyfriend got engaged just a week after us. Then they announce their wedding will be the same summer as us. I tried not to let it bother me- the world does not revolve around us and this was the timing that works out best for them.

So the other day I look on their registry (registered at the same place about one week after us) and they registered for the exact same sets of plates, bowls, serving dishes and silverware. It's a very unique design and it is extremely obvious to anyone who visits both registries that they are the exact same.

So now FHs parents are throwing them an engagement party and asked us if we want to have a joint one. I love FSIL but I'm starting to get overwhelmed by sharing so much in regards to our weddings. Is it crazy for us to politely decline the shared party?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Antoinette, on July 14, 2014 at 5:02 PM

VIP August 2015
Nadine · on July 14, 2014 at 4:22 PM
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Well that may be easier for the parents it would actually be harder on guests. They would be buying double and some people just cannot do that
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Devoted December 2015
Dee · on July 14, 2014 at 4:23 PM
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If you don't want to share, I don't think it is rude to decline. Just be clear that this isn't a double wedding and you don't want to feel like it is. I sure wouldn't want to share all of mine..... but, I think the registries is no big deal. Who cares!?
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VIP September 2014
KaylaP · on July 14, 2014 at 4:27 PM
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FSIL got engaged 7 months after we did. If FMIL and FFIL wanted to include FH and I in on a party I'd be honored. It's not "sharing" your big day. It's allowing them to celebrate for both of their children and not just one or the other. Maybe think of it as a compliment that they want to show off the good catch that their son got? FH's family has to introduce me to everyone and tell them we are gettin married
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Master January 2015
Mrs.Matthews · on July 14, 2014 at 4:31 PM
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I wouldn't want to share my engagement party. All wedding related events should be held separate in my opinion that way you can both have your own special pre-wedding events. FSIL might not want to share it either!
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Super December 2014
Dani · on July 14, 2014 at 4:45 PM
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If you were closer and didn't mind then share it. Did you even want an engagement party before it was offered? If you didn't but do now, you don't have to share it. It doesn't sound like you want to share that much with her and that is ok to do.
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Super September 2015
Sunshine · on July 14, 2014 at 4:52 PM
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My FSIL and I are super close, and I still wouldn't want to have a joint party. You only get married once...all eyes should be on you. I would decline the double party and hope someone on your side offers to throw one for you.
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Expert February 2015
xograce · on July 14, 2014 at 4:58 PM
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I wouldn't share it. Not even with my blood sister who is my MOH
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VIP April 2021
Antoinette · on July 14, 2014 at 5:02 PM
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Before u decline the engagement party or anything. Maybe u need to talk to your FH about it first. See whats his thoughts and input is on this.
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