Share personal vows before wedding?

Right then and there. Trust each other with the vows.

We knew each other's vows beforehand. They were in fact the same expect for two words. We spent some time looking and tweaking until we found something that fit us, as a couple perfectly.

I know most people don't do it. But they were equally authentic and meaningful as they would have been if they were a surprise.

I've been wondering the same thing! I'll be watching this post with interest. What if there is a structure you both follow, but insert your own words? One I saw was "I love you because... Because I love you, I will always (never)... Also thinking about how to integrate the top ten reasons why I love you...and a little humor is ok. We have to have humor in our wedding or our friends won't recognize us!

First wedding..we wrote our own...didn't share and the it was beautiful. I'd leave it a surprise.

As for my life now, we're sticking with traditional vows with a minor tweak or two.

FH and I custom wrote our entire ceremony including our vows. So yes we know what we are saying.

We were planning on sharing them with each other, right up until we actually finished writing them. We wrote them at the same time, next to each other, and we were both teary and emotional and put a lot of thought into it, so we decided that they really don't need to be the same structure or anything. They both came from our hearts and meant a lot. And the day of, we read them to each other, and we both cried, along with 90% of the guests and all of our bridal party - guys included! They were perfect

I've seen his and he has seen mine and the only other person we've shared them with was our officient. It just wasn't a big deal to us to see each others and I really think that having heard them before the weight of the words will sink in more at the actual ceremony.

It really doesnt matter whether you know or not, they are going to mean so much to you on the day of your wedding that it isnt going to matter.

That's a good question. I kind of want them to be a surprised, but at the same time I want to rehearse them with FH before the wedding.

Maybe you can give each other guidelines if you still want it to be a surprise? Like a word limit or sentence limit, ie. 300 words each or 5 sentences each (I have no idea whether or not that's long enough, just an example). Then maybe say what you plan on putting in them, ie. one serious thing, one funny thing, one happy thing.

I went to a wedding where the bride had written out her vows, extremely personal and thoughtful... and the groom said something short and casual, very anticlimactic to bride's vows. I think if you give each other guidelines you can avoid this and still have the vows be a surprise.

We didn't really have personal vows. They were mostly traditonal with a few added things.

But when Dh and I read them at the Rehearsal, we both bawled like babies. We were so shocked at how emotional we became over those words.

Then the following day at the wedding, our voices cracked a little but for the most part we kept it together and we were very composed.

Later, we discussed and both agreed that reading it beforehand helped keep us from getting upset at the wedding. It was like we got all that intense overwheming feelings out of the way first.

So, what I am saying is, it might help you to stay a little more composed if you read it beforehand. Maybe. Every person is different. You might want that intense moment, so in that case I would suggested waiting.

I would recommend keeping them a surprise and don't worry about practicing or memorizing them, bring a note card and read them to each other or have the officiant feed them to you a sentence at a time.