Sex, birth control, pregnancy, babies, for the engaged couple

Neither FH nor I am religious, so no "guilt" there as far as intimacy goes.

As far as birth control goes, I only take the pill and he doesn't use any other form of prevention (pull out, condoms, etc.) We've been intimate for 3.5 years and no pregnancy yet using just that method! However, I know one has to be careful because a lot of people lessen the strength of their b/c (antibiotics!) and fall pregnant. So you have to be mindful of things like that and use back up protection. I have taken about three pregnancy tests since we have been together and they were all negative. My period was just randomly late on those occasions. Now, if we get pregnant we would work it out even if that wasn't the plan I would still be happy.

This is a hot topic, and I'm really glad you asked it!

I consider myself spiritual and faithful, but non-religious. Too, too, TOO many bad experiences with “religious” people.

I was raised loosely religious (Baptist) and for years felt guilty about anything remotely associated with sex or sexual acts. It was BAD and only BAD GIRLS did it.

(Never mind the fact that once a ring is on: “It’s fine--don’t worry--it’s not bad anymore--flip that switch honey--sorry if you have issues stemming from thinking that you’re going to H*LL for doing it--it’s all OK—Do it even if you don’t want to--your husband needs it or he’ll go looking elsewhere--what do you expect--having a baby will make it better--just do it--enjoy it—just relax--fake it if you have to--what do you mean having a baby made it worse--have another that should do it--why aren’t you happy--what’s wrong with you--you’re a horrible wife.”)

After growing up and coming to the conclusion that I can make my own choices for my own life and body, I realized that (for me) following the dictates of (several thousand years’ worth of) what MEN thought women should do/be like isn’t realistic. Those dictates came down before DNA testing to ensure the succession of inheritance/family lineage, and have little bearing on modern life, IMO.

In my mind getting married before having a sexual relationship AND living with one another is akin to madness. You’re pledging your life to someone that you—knowingly – don’t have complete information on. I’ve literally seen this backfire several times after the newlyweds find that they’re incompatible sexually, and THEN what do you do? Live your life in misery? Go to counseling and *hope* it works out? Divorce??

So…no guilt here. I don’t need anyone to filter my access to God and work around THEIR ideas/THEIR interpretations/ THEIR hang-ups. I know God. God wants me to be happy, and to have a happy life. Making sure I’m marrying the right man is paramount to that happiness.

FH is a Recovering Catholic and feels guilty about breathing so that’s a whole different issue.

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RE: BC

I’ve been on the Nuva Ring and liked it, but when my insurance wouldn’t cover it any longer I switched to oral. I’m now on Ashlyna and love it.

I’ve had one scare just because when I was supposed to have my period on Ashlyna it never came, but the test was negative.