Serious Question...

Hey Jordan, I completely understand and relate. My FH and I have debated about eloping A LOT because of how big my family is and "everyone has to be there" and the cost of the wedding just keeps stressing me out and keeping me awake at night. The only reason we have not eloped because my mother just put a nonrefundable deposit down on our venue. We are paying for everything else and even paying her back. So when you say "so much time, stress, and money", I understand. I honestly want to use the money we are spending on the wedding on a house instead as you said as well.

My advice to you is, it's up to you. You get to spend the rest of your life with your FH either way. Like PP have said you could do a small intimate wedding. Even if you choose to do the elopement your family can get over it, it's about you and you FH anyways.

I had friends that decided the cost of a wedding was just not something they could justify but wanted to be married. I was literally the only person who knew beforehand because I officiated. Their families were bummed that there wasn't a video or pictures but were just happy for them. A few of the more selfish friends were super pissed, especially at me because I did not saying anything until the couple announced it publicly. So that tells you the mindset of those people. And that is really the whole point, you need to do what is best for you. People may get upset but that's on them, not you.

You and FH are adults who should make your own decisions. If eloping is what you'd like, then go for it

If your FIL's are trying to control your day, but are not offering you any financial assistance, I would not listen to anything they are saying. This is your wedding and this is you and your FH's money. It comes down to what you two want and what you can afford. Your families may not love the idea of you eloping, but they will get over it. It's your wedding, not theirs. Again, if they will not contribute financially, then you do what you have to do.

I definitely can relate to dealing with the expenses a the wedding. Have you considered eloping or going to the court house and having a reception party for you and your family to celebrate together. The reception can take place as a BBQ or you can rent a nice event space. I think that may be cheaper than paying for a wedding and reception. Good luck with everything. Also, as long as you two are happy with your decisions, that should be the most important factor. Especially if no one else is contributing financially.

With all due respect-if someone else isn't paying for it, they don't get the right to tell you how your wedding should be.

I've had so many people try to tell me what to do for my wedding or tell me they weren't a fan of some of the plans I've made. I'd gotten to the point where I didn't even love the idea of a wedding anymore. So after a quick meltdown, I've decided I need to be more assertive and have begun to tell some of the more obnoxious and intrusive people that if they aren't happy with my plans, to please select no on the RSVP and then they don't have to worry about what I do at MY wedding that I (not them...) are paying for.

I refused the idea of eloping because it was so important to me for my family to be there with us. We've spent years putting it off trying to save up the money to have a proper wedding. Since our engagement, 3 people in my immediate family have passed away. Life will keep moving and you can't control a lot of things. If your heart says elopement, go for it! Your family will just be happy to see you married. Wasting time trying to come up with the money might bite you in the butt in the end. Have the wedding you want and that you can afford right now! Good luck to you!