Serious fights before wedding

We have small arguments that mostly stem from my lack of sleep (severe insomnia at one point I was on 3 prescription sleeping pills at once). We have had one big fight. When things start to get real heated I take a dog for a walk which usually takes 2 hours and gives us both time to cool down. When we are calm we will revisit the subject. We might have to do it a few times but we will keep doing it until we figure out a compromise we are both satisfied with. However, I do agree with other posters you should try couples therapy. Also avoid alcohol when you're fighting it will only make things worse.

Only once. It was a big mistake to even do what we did. And we have cut the problem out. He was married once before and he was close to her parents. We went on a hunting trip with them for a week. Bad idea. All they did was make me feel like I wasent as good as their daughter and made it seem like she was an angel sent by God. Which I know different. For 3 or 4 days I put up with it. The 5th day I talked to FH about it and he said dont listen to them. The 6th day I had it and told him I was leaving and going to stay in a hotel in town until he picked me up. He was going to let me leave and all he said was got everything? I got pissed. Took off the ring and handed it back. Broke his heart. I've only seen him cry twice and that was once. We sat in the dirt and talked it out for an hour. I explained exactly how they were making me feel. He ended up hunting with just me that night and left to the hotel with me. We haven't had contact with them since then. They were absolutely horrible to me. I have never felt so degraded in my life. We haven't had any fights since. That was 10 months ago.

Wedding planning gets stressful and people are not always at their best when the heat is on. But taking off rings and stuff like that goes way beyond what's 'typical.' Honestly, this is way more about a communication issue than just getting mad. Ending the relationship should never be an idle threat made just to end or win a fight. It's purposefully hurtful - like throwing out personal insults just because you're angry. That's a sign of some really unhealthy dynamics. Alcohol might've been a contributing factor, but I've had huge drunken arguments with my SO and even at our angriest, we don't resort to that because it's a cheap shot, it shows no respect for your SO, and it's a lot harder to come back from.

When you communicate (or even argue/fight) in a healthy way, you can always apologize and reach a compromise down the line. But if you start to get personal and hurtful when fighting, then apologies just stop being enough and in order to get past it, you have to start working to rebuild trust and prove that you can respect each other and set anger aside so that you tackle big problems as a team. I've had relationships with men who threatened to break up with me mid-argument. Eventually, it wore away at the trust between us because I'd think, "Every time things get hard, he threatens to abandon me. I can't be with this person if I have to do everything his way just to avoid an argument, but if I stay, then I'll never be able to express my opinion without being terrified that he'll leave me because of it. They might be empty threats to him, but to me it's destroying the faith I have in him and it shows total disrespect for my feelings and security in this relationship." And I'd walk away from them.

That said, it sounds like the topics in the argument are major things regarding your futures and compatibility of your goals. Those things should be worked out way before a wedding, but it should be done sober, respectfully, and without anger. Have you guys looked into premarital counseling?

I would talk to a marriage counselor ASAP. They may really help you guys communicate better, and hopefully fight less. I'd also have a serious talk with your fiance about cutting down or out alcohol use, if this becomes a pattern when you both drink.

If you have fights that make you question whether you should actually be together, then that's a huge red flag. FH and I fight but there's never a doubt in my mind that he's the one for me.

I would definitely suggest premarital counseling if it's not already planned.

Honestly, no we haven't gotten into fights like this. I don't think it's fair to say it's a deal breaker but I would potentially look into couples counseling before the big day! Or Pre-Marital if you're involved in your church