Serious fights before wedding

Honestly, to me that’s a red flag but everyone’s relationship is different.

Honestly, no. If you're having arguments about serious topics like you have mentioned I highly recommend couples counseling. Best to work all of that out before you're married. Best of luck

We’ve had some serious fights over the years, but never once since we’ve been engaged have I seeisioyntaken off the ring or said to reconsider the wedding. I also agree that some premarital counseling would help a lot. We just finished ours and there ware several bits on how to fight well and better communicate, so I bet you’d benefit from it!

Honestly, we never have had these kinda fights. We have gotten frustrated with each other, but I've never taken off my ring in anger. Like PP I would highly recommend couples counseling as well. Good luck!

I’ve fought like this with so many ex boyfriends but never with my FH. We have disagreements sometimes as everyone does but it doesn’t get so heated like you have described. I would definitely look into counseling with your FH. When are you getting married? I would hold off on wedding planning for now until you guys can work through these issues. Best of luck, sounds like a tough situation ❤️

Depends on what the heated topic is...there's certain things man or woman shouldn't put up with for example cheating...but if it's not that or abuse...I suggest counseling. Especially if liquor was involved try to talk about the issue again in a clear state of mind in a neutral environment such as counseling.

No, these are all things we discussed before getting engaged. Definitely look into some counseling BEFORE the wedding. Getting married doesn't magically make things better and then it is much harder to "Walk."

I think it varies for different people, but under the influence of alcohol it makes everything worse. Typically though these are things that are buried deep beneath the surface and should be addressed with a counselor or something. My FH and I are the best of friends, we love each other dearly and can't wait to have our own little family and make our lives together. But, it's not all butterflies and rainbows and yeah we can get into arguments, some more intense than others. At the end of the day I feel if you have never argued it's a little weird, seeing as how no two people can completely agree on literally everything at all times. It happens. What matters is how it is dealt with. Communication within a marriage is absolutely key and you need to figure out how to 'fight' well with him. Also, we are all born with different temperaments, something we don't get to choose or change, it is just our natural disposition. There is science behind it and my therapist has gone into detail with me over it. Google temperaments. Also look at reading the "Five Love Languages." You'll have fights within a marriage. As I said what matters is how you confront or deal with them. Kindness and willingness to hear the other goes a long way.

Maybe you’ll need a mediator or counselor to work through the problems. This is not a end all!

We used to have crazy fights in the first few years of our relationship. Now that it’s been 8 years we know how to communicate a lot better and don’t threaten to end the relationship over a fight. I think you both need to learn how to communicate with each before making a serious commitment. Time helps, but this is a red flag during an engagement period

Couples counseling!
Most people gasp 'we're not that bad' it's not a matter of being bad or not. You could be a amazing couple but sometimes let stuff slide or not express yourself right, personally couples counseling is healthy and great for everyone.
We adore our counselor and has helped with so much! Not that we had problems like what you expressed, we just both aim to please the other to much and that leads to not pleasing yourself sometimes. That may be a case where you need that middleman so go! Definitely!

Because couples will inevitably have fights, learning good argument skills is important. A long time ago (after some fights that involved throwing things, etc.), FH and I came up with some ground rules for fighting fair. Like we don't name call and we don't threaten to leave or break up, among other things. It could be helpful to go to a counselor or try to work on communication issues in premarital counseling. That can also be a good time to talk about those topics you mentioned as they are sensitive topics. The time leading up to the wedding can be tense - it sure has been from time to time in our house - but it's not the only tense/intense time you're going to have in your lives, so it's important to learn how to work through it.

Depending on how much is going into your wedding (emotionally and financially) this isn't really completely out of the norm.. Stress and tensions are high before the big day and wedding planning along with future planning can add alot of stress to a relationship.

If you all have only gotten in a couple of arguments like this, in my opinion, it's not a huge deal. You guys just need to sit down and talk about the long run and what you all are concerned about the most.

Arguments show that you both care, when two people stop caring that is when you're in trouble. Talk with him! ♡

I have to agree that weddings can be stressful. I wouldn’t say this is a complete deal breaker. People say things and do things out of anger especially in a fight. The next day how is he? If after you’ve both had time to cool down try to sit and talk things through and go from there! If you both have a mutual friend that may be great to have a conversation. You both may be more comfortable talking to, or pastor or counselor as others have stated. I used to get so stressed I’d always want to end things but, it was in anger and frustration. Best of wishes xoxo at the end of the day listen to your heart !

We have definitely had our fair share of fights in the engagement stage. I think a lot of it for us stems from stress from planning, we both moved recently and just financing a wedding is stressful and when you add in other people’s opinions it can be a lot. But we never take rings off or threaten to breakup. I think that might be a red flag. We fight then end up talking through everything. We are also doing pre marital counseling. You should try that it might help

Couples counseling!! It could just be the stress getting to the both of you and this is how you're dealing with it. But regardless, it would prob be best to talk to someone and make sure this isn't something that will continue into marriage.

I feel like certain things like career, family, and location need to be ironed out before the wedding. If you can't agree or talk about these issues now, that won't magically change when you are married. All of those topics are extremely important to see eye to eye on. For many people career, family, and location are deal breakers. It's important to know now if you two are compatible in these three things because for many there isn't a compromise to be had.

I highly recommend premarital counseling to communicate your position in a safe place. I also recommend holding off on wedding planning until you know for sure you can both reach a place where you are both comfortable (in regards to these major topics).

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I totally disagree that arguments/fights show that you both care. I can't remember the last time I argued with my husband and I still love him deeply. We disagree and discuss our needs and compromise but we don't argue.

Those are pretty serious topics to be fighting that hard about. Definitely get couples counseling now and really get it all out there.

You should look into counseling. Also, threatening to take ring off and leave are not healthy at all in a relationship. The topics that were up for debate are things that you all will have to live with/work through on a day to day basis. You weren't arguing over the toilet seat. You two need to sit down with someone who can hep you figure out what is going on and how to have productive conversations.