Separate After Party Guest List...

I'd never be offended about not being invited to someone's wedding, especially if it's small. I might be offended about being invited to an after party but NOT the ceremony or reception... it just seems kind of weird to me. Like, you like me enough to party with me but don't want me around for the other parts of the day?

My advice is skip the after party, or only include people who are attending the ceremony and reception.

I would be offended.

My sister in law if going to a wedding like this but she can go to the ceremony but not the reception but can go to the after party. I asked her was she going she said only to the ceremony because she's not going to wait until they done to meet back up with them

...

Honestly, I don't think I'd care. Our friends had a very small ceremony and went to a restaurant afterwards. They said that one day they would get everyone together at our favorite bar and open a tab so we all can celebrate. But that never happened. Lol. They are pretty solitaire people so I'm not surprised they didn't do the whole day as usual.

I'd rather do what you suggested than be horribly hosted at a large reception, to be honest.

What you are describing is rude. If you want to have a truly small (immediate family only) ceremony, that's fine. You can then have a large reception to celebrate, but it should be hosted and there shouldn't be tiers of "people truly close to us/ people we just want gifts from". If I found out that I wasn't "good enough" to be invited to your ceremony and reception for 150, but I was invited to pay for my drinks at a bar after the real party, I would be insulted.

If I'm not invited to your ceremony or reception, I don't want to be invited to your after party. The after party is for guests to continue celebrating, not for people that weren't good enough to be on your guest list to join you and pay for their own food/drinks.

I would not necessarily be hurt-- depending on how close I thought I was to the hosts-- but I sure wouldn't work as hard to attend if I knew I was a 'second tier guest.'

I guess I just want to put this out there... The wedding and ceremony are the same location. I can't just kick people out after the ceremony and I don't want anyone arriving in the middle of the ceremony for the reception. Also the whole thing HAS to clear out of the park by 8 pm latest so we can be clean before 10 pm; sheriff's orders. Two hours later we arrive at the bar. And no, there is no expectation for gifts. The bar thing would be announced separately from the wedding invitations. And yes, we are hosting it, so limited drinks and food is on us. I just feel like too many Americans are thinking that I am trying to exclude people when in fact I am trying for the opposite. But I did ask for honest, and the wedding is in the U.S., so this really helped me see the assumptions that some people would make just because of traditions. Thanks everyone.

Nope, it's not even an after wedding party if your not hosting/buying the drinks. It's a bar hop.

Are the people who are invited to the after party a smaller section of the wedding guests? If so, that seems reasonable and I would understand. Not everyone who is a friend is a friend on the same level. I don't invite all of my friends to dinner at my house. Some friends I just have lunch with. Some friends I only see at work. However, if you are sending out two separate invitation lists, proceed with caution...

I hate messaging... I am genuinely grateful. Just in case that didn't come across.

And yes, any guest over 21 at the reception is welcome, but I also wanted to open it up to anyone that couldn't make the wedding. Suit and tie at the wedding, jeans and flannel for later.

I get what you're saying, but it still is offensive. If I were you, I'd have a wedding after party as one thing and a hosted bar party for your larger group of friends another day.