Separate After Party Guest List...

If I'm not important enough to be at the ceremony and reception, no. I will not attend the after party. And chances are, our relationship will be changed.

Personally, I would be offended. It would not change our friendship, but I would not attend the after party.

I would be offended also. I wouldn't think it was worth my time to go to the after party since I wasn't important enough to get invited to the ceremony.

Super rude to do. If you don't want to celebrate with a lot of peiple, then don't. Don't throw them in as an afterthought.

I agree with the others! Especially if the after party isn't hosted and I have to buy my our drinks.

Yep. I would also be offended. A simple way to do it, is host a party a different time. I've been to several parties where the bride and groom had a smaller wedding and later hosted a party at a bar with appetizers, limited open bar, etc. A reception for friends. Having it the same day is kinda rude. Have it a couple of weeks later and it's totally fine. ETA: My sister had a small destination wedding and hosted a reception at their house a few weeks later for all of their friends back home. It was lovely.

It's a weird situation, truly. It's not the "not being invited to the ceremony" part, because lots of my couples have very private ceremonies followed by larger receptions. BUT, and it's a big but, it gets a little dicey when there has been a nicer, more lush celebration in between that only 'close' friends were invited to, followed by a bar hop for 'everyone else'.

Do a tiny ceremony, a tiny reception and call it a day. Maybe think about a very casual party to celebrate later in the year, but don't bill it as a wedding in any way.

Biased since this is sorta the done thing where I'm from (day guests to ceremony/meal, evening guests in addition to day guests for party/buffet - evening guests are normally coworkers, local extended family, that sorta thing. Think it might have something to do with UK weddings normally lasting all day, 9-10 hours at most.)

An informal "night out" in celebration of the marriage, perhaps on another night, is probably a better idea.

An after party should be "let's keep partying because we are all still having fun", not "now that the important part is done you're allowed to hangout with us."

I think it would be fine to have a small ceremony, and then a large reception with everyone. But the way you're talking about it, no. It's like.. Now that the people who are important to me have had a great party, the rest of you lesser people can come out and drink with me.

You should never have separate guest lists for different wedding events. If you're inviting people to one part of the evening you have to invite them to the other because excluding people is rude. The only exception is the small, private ceremony with larger reception.

This happened to me and it was really uncomfortable. By the time I arrived, (at the time I was invited to do so), everyone was already drunk from the reception. People were asking me why I was so late. I had no idea that there were tiers of invitations and honestly it was embarassing and hurtful. Please don't do this to anyone.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of this situation. I wouldn't go, knowing that I was coming late to the festivities. If you want them to celebrate with you, you should invite them to the reception. Otherwise perhaps throw a post-wedding celebration bar-hopping thing on another day.

Nope no no no no no. Please don't do this. At all.

The rules are definitely different in the UK, where it is expected that you will have a small "wedding breakfast," then a much larger evening party. But in the US, you invite people for the whole reception, or not at all.

That's a big no in my book. I agree with the others. I would be really offended.

Some might get offended, some may not. But what about just having a brunch or something the next day that people can be invited to in order to celebrate the marriage and not feel offended they weren't invited to the ceremony and reception. ... From what I'm reading, people would be offended if they got invited to something on the same day as something they weren't invited to. So have the "after party" on a day by itself to avoid this offending?

No, I don't think that's okay. I could see throwing a big party a few weeks later? But I wouldn't go to a bar hop after the ceremony and after the reception that I wasn't invited to

I've been invited to something like this. I just found it... odd. The couple had a ceremony and reception of about 150 people (mostly family) and then invited their extended group of friends to hang out with them at a bar for later that night. The couple did not host. I wasn't offended exactly, but it's not something I would advocate doing. I'm never offended about not being invited to someone's wedding. It's when you start to classify groups of your friends and loved ones and treat them differently that it starts to bug me.

I didn't go and I heard from a friend that very few people did.

Yes, I'd be offended.