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Amanda
Dedicated July 2018

Self conscious of everything!

Amanda, on June 17, 2018 at 7:54 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 30
Has this happened to anyone else?
I’m re-using a dress I’ve worn before as my wedding gown. I wore it as a debutante about 15 years ago, and it still fits. However, I am starting to feel *super* self conscious when I put it on... all I can think about is that I need to immediately loose 20 lbs to look good in it. My arms feel like the worst part.. like they are giant sausages and everyone will be looking at the chub there. Admittedly, I waited until the last second to start thinking about my dress, because I figured “hey! I’ve already got that covered!” It might partially be that it has just sort of dawned on me that everyone will be staring at me in this dress. Right now, I don’t feel “beautiful” or “bridal.” Instead i feel insecure and self-conscious. It’s probably all in my head, but I was curious if any of you ladies have been having a similar head trip. I could use some feedback from someone that isn’t in my immediate circle.

Is this just wedding jitters, or maybe it’s really a “thing”? *keeps doing push-ups in the meantime*

Self conscious of everything! 1

30 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on December 12, 2018 at 1:26 PM
  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    Ok, well I’m think you look great, but I can imagine feeling that if I’d worn the dress before...plus I think there’s a little insecurity in every bride. It’s a lot of attention.
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  • A
    Dedicated August 2018
    Ashley ·
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    Oh my gosh you look stunningin that dress.. truly stunning. I get it though, I cried the other day over my arms... weddings make us crazy. I'm super self conscious as it is but my fh is sick skinny and i'm worried about looking even bigger next to him. I keep looking at plus size brides and thinking they look beautiful... that's what people will see... a beautiful girl marrying the love of her life. Hope this helps xoxo
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  • Erika
    Expert April 2019
    Erika ·
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    First of all I think you look amazing! That dress is gorgeous. There is no sausage that I see, lady!
    That being said, you really should feel beautiful and confident in your dress. When you find the one you'll feel it and you won't doubt. When I found my dress, the sample was snug but I felt amazing and thought I looked it also. No insecurities. That's not often for me.
    If you don't feel that then maybe you need to go look for your dress-although this one is beautiful on you. You deserve to feel like the best you've ever felt. Jitters are for the wedding day... Not your dress. At least that's my opinion.
    You're beautiful 💖
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  • J
    Dedicated June 2018
    Jaclyn ·
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    Absouletely gorgeous! It looks very bridal i would say. You look amazing in it..your arms are very nice, im saying this as i would to a close friend..you may have body dismorphia. Lol, because you look Great!!! You may feel insecure bc last time you wore that was 15 yrs ago so you keep imagining what you looked like as a baby in it..or well teenager. Your still Rockin that dress 15 yrs later and thats somethung to be happy and proud about!!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    You know, I’ve done the same thing... looked at plus sized brides and thought they look wonderful. I know I’m not plus-sized, but for some reason I feel like I’m 6 feet wide! Im getting sort of jealous of everyone who’s coming to the wedding getting to wear a slimming black!

    And thank you. I realize I’m not all “done up” in the photos, so maybe that’s bugging me too.. those are photos my friend snapped of me yesterday during a dress intervention (I have to get some alterations done on the top, and have been trying to do them myself to no avail) and when I saw them I was just like “gah!! My arms!”
    Sigh. But thanks, ladies.
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  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
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    Wow, first of all you look amazing! I think it’s actually kinda neat that you’re wearing the same dress, it’s your something old.
    I understand what you’re feeling, but you can’t compare yourself to you 15 years ago. You look incredible and the veil really adds that bridal factor.
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  • Cheryl&rock
    VIP June 2019
    Cheryl&rock ·
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    Amanda, you look beautiful in the dress!!! I don't see chub arms at all!
    I have the swinging yuck!!! Hate it!
    It's a shame that we are so hard on ourselves!
    In honesty I do not see chub on your arms! I see a beautiful bride!! ❤️
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Lol... when I showed my mom the picture the first thing she said was “I hate the veil”. Sigh. I thought it was pretty dramatic and made it “bridal”. But, the veil was also just something the dress shop had to “get an idea.” I have no idea now what kind of veil to do.
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  • G
    Savvy June 2020
    Grace ·
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    You look beautiful! I think it’s normal to feel nervous and to want to look your best on your big day. Try to think about what you like instead of what you don’t and remember that you get to marry someone you love and that’s the most important thing!!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    You truly look totally gorgeous!! But, I can so relate. My "dream dress" came in and I had my 1st fitting. I was so upset. I hate this gown I spent all this money purchasing. I feel totally ugly and unattractive in it. Oh! Fat, too! So now I don't want to wear it. The funny thing is this dress technically should be very flattering. So I'm going to see if I can find a way to make myself happy, or try to find another gown. You look perfect in yours and if my gown looked as nice as yours, I'd have not one worry. Best wishes!💕
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  • Nisa
    Super March 2019
    Nisa ·
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    I think your arms look fine! I understand the concern though. We're constantly bombarded with "perfect" looking women in the media and advertising, and I've been hard on myself for my arms before, but IRL, most people's arms are normal and not perfectly toned and sculpted. I think you look gorgeous in the dress and it's really neat that you're reusing it.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    That’s a great point, about the “perfect arms/body” pressure in photos.

    I think a lot of my wedding stress is manifesting in self-consciousness of my body. It’s weird, but I can’t say it hasn’t happened before. Some of those closest to me are champion-level judgy sometimes about physical appearances, since they are themselves extremely attractive.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Oh Shawn, that sucks! I’m worried about what the alterations will do to the dress myself, especially because I won’t have any time for a backup plan. URG! *stresssssed*
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  • futurmrslowe
    Super December 2018
    futurmrslowe ·
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    I think you and the dress are beautiful!!

    however - some sweat sessions are guaranteed to help you boost confidence. Do you live somewhere you could hit some barre classes intensely for 30 days? Arms are like the easiest, quickest place to see some tone with a little effort !
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thanks Amanda! I have LOTS of people judging me as well. Once they said I had back fat in my gown, I'd heard enough. They tried to cover and say my veil would cover it. Right! As if a layer of sheer tulle will help. Ha! Ha! Oh! My seamstress asked me if I'd ever been able to get into my gown? Ugh!! I have no faith in her, now. It's not too small. Just an odd cut. We'll get through this together. Take deep breaths. ❤
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Shawn,

    yassss, gurl! Back fat was also pointed out to me, or what looked like back fat because the undergarment I was wearing made an indention. (I have big boobs... there is no way I’m not going without some serious support for the girls on my wedding day). Back fat and neck wrinkles. Like.. common, y’all. I’m already stressed enough.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Futuremrslowe:
    that’s not a bad idea.. I’ll see if I can find somewhere around me. But I only have about a month!! Eekk!!
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  • futurmrslowe
    Super December 2018
    futurmrslowe ·
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    From my own experience, you’ll see some good results in arms and shoulders if you challenge yourself to 3-4 classes a week. Many Pure Barre studios have “bride” or “new client “ 30 day packages.

    Drink lots if water. Lots of protein, lots of fruit and veggies !!!
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  • C
    Savvy September 2018
    Concetta ·
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    Ummm what arm flab...you look stunning I wouldn’t change a thing!!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    I'm sorry you are going through this, Amanda, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. I know that may sound strange. 😊 Same here, back fat was caused from my heavily boned backless bustier. I just love the way our "nearest and dearest" are sabotaging our self esteem. You'd think they'd try to build us up. Honestly, you look Fab in your dress and I personally love your veil. To me, it's the bridal finishing touch.
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