Secret Gown Shopping

You could ask them if they would be ok if you went to ONE store before hand so that you know the right size when you all go together, and then maybe "stumble" onto a couple of dresses in the process 🤷

First: Breathe!

Have you looked online to see what you like?

If not, do so.

If so, then make notes and share them with your MoH.

Then, take her with you to a Bridal shop out of town.

I went with an A-Line Ball Gown.

Https://www.ericdress.com/product/Ericdress-Fancy-Appliques-Sweetheart-Ball-Gown-Colorful-Wedding-Dress-11476740.html

So take your MOH shopping with you and don't tell your mom and grandma. Get an idea of what styles you like and think look best on you and then remember it. Then, if you go back to a store where they remember you, talk,to the sales person and tell them what's up. If anything slips, tell your mom and grandma that you called ahead to make an appt and explained what you were looking for based off what you've seen

Your family is most likely going to say that “you look Fat” in whatever you show them.

There’s absolutely nothing that you can do that. You can only select the 👰👗 that makes feel the best/happiest in.

Take them once you have narrowed it down to 1-3 👰👗es and are leaning strongly towards 1 of them.

Show them the one that you like the most in the middle or last. Make it seem as though you really like another one. Then, after some thought and deliberation, you can “decide” on the 👰👗 that you really love.

This way, they can feel like they’re part of the process.

Congratulations and 🍀‼️

Keep us posted!

We’re here for emotional and “tech” support.

Also, take a peek at the links that I’ve posted recently. I’m sharing so that others might have an easier process than I did.

That’s what I did, I found three I loved and brought my daughter and mother back to help me pick. I wanted my opinion first and then theirs. It made it such a calm experience!

I say bring your MOH first. This is about you being the most comfortable and confident on your special day❤️! I’m so sorry that you’re in this position but remember this is a happy time! I also struggle with weight issues and my perception of myself. Having ONE good friend makes the absolute difference — I only took my MOH with me all times I went looking and even went once alone! Good luck love!!

Tell them how you feel. They may limit their comments. I had to do this with my family, since I had just had my son.

Do what is best for you! Take that supportive MOH and do some pre-shopping. I was super nervous going dress shopping even though I knew the people going with me were super supportive and would not make any negative comments about my weight. I can't imagine going with a critical, overopinionated bunch.

While I am not from the south, I have watched my fair share of wedding dress shows LOL and if there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that southern mamas and grandmas are definitely not afraid to voice their opinions! I completely understand why you’re so nervous! To be honest, if I were in your situation, I would definitely go shopping with my MOH beforehand. Wedding dress shopping is supposed to be FUN and make you feel beautiful! I have gained a lot of weight over the past year due to health reasons also, so the first store I tried on dresses was kinda rough. I think it’s always hard to see yourself in a wedding dress not looking the way you typically do, or the way you had imagined you would. I could only imagine having blunt, opinionated people there during that process would only make it a million times worse! it’s nice of you to care about your mother and grandmother’s feelings, but I think YOUR feelings are the ones that matter most here. Go to a couple bridal appointments out of town with your MOH (to stores you are not planning on going to with your relatives). Once you find out what you really love on your body, you can direct the appointment with your mom and grandmother and focus only on those silhouettes. I learned the hard way that just trying on a couple dresses I didn’t care for because my mother wanted me to was a big mistake! She of course fell in love with one of them and now doesn’t support my dress choice (despite the fact she loved the dress I picked prior to seeing her picks “ just for fun” on me). Stick to your guns girl! Good luck!!

Tradition be damned, if someone is going to make me feel bad shopping for my wedding dress they’re not invited. Go with MOH first and if you find the dress, BUY IT. Mom and GMA can come to the fitting once you buy it if they can only be negative.

I had a lot of worries and anxiety about shopping too, so I made an appointment and went on my own for my first round. Little did I know that I would find my dress as the first pick, but it was nice to be able to just focus on what I thought and what I wanted. It also made me much more sure about my choice because it was only me making the decision! I suggest going to at least get an idea of what you like, then narrowing it down from there. I went to David's Bridal, which had plenty of sample sizes, so call ahead to whatever salon and make sure they'll have stuff you can actually try on. That'll help your confidence too.

There is nothing wrong with going shopping without them beforehand. And if they find out and get upset, I would be very honest about why you decided to do that. I would really hope that your family wouldn’t say harsh things to you about your appearance, though.
Good luck and have fun! This is one of the most fun parts about wedding planning!

I did this. Found a perfect dress... my mom found out and told me off and made me feel so bad that I ended up not buying that dress and getting a different one with her that I’m now not so sure of.

Go shopping with your MOH first and hopefully find the dress you want. Then go shopping with your mom and grandma once or twice (just to make them happy). At that point, you don’t have to be concerned with their comments because you’ll already have a dress selected. Then later tell them that you found your dress at another bridal salon.

I went without any family. I brought just 1 of my bridesmaids to both shops I went to. I love my mom and gma, but what they like is so far different from what I like. I feel like I would have walked out with the wrong dress if I went with them.

My mom and aunt are lovely people but love to give comments about what they like best so I decided to do a first appointment and try eeeeverything they wanted me to and be open about and also say what I liked better, the proceeded to do a 2nd appointment somewhere else I’ve been wanting to go first with them and since they already know what I wanted I tried ok what they wanted they where super easy and everything was super smooth! I don’t know if that would work for you but maybe you can find q similar way? Also let them know your feelings

I went shopping a couple of times just by myself. I was in a very abusive marriage and have been so broken down by my ex that every time I go clothes shopping I cry. I worked with the store manager at David’s Bridal after explaining the situation and she was amazing. She didn’t rush me and she listened to what I liked and didn’t like. I found about 5 dresses after two appointments that I liked and I had my favorite of them. I then made a third appointment and brought in my mom, step-dad and FMIL and tried on those 5 dresses and one new one that they had just gotten in that the manager thought I might like. It was so easy and everyone was very nice. I ended up picking the dress I liked from the original 5. I didn’t tell them which one I liked but they all could see how it made me feel. I don’t know if this helps you or not but you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. Sometimes families just don’t understand how we may feel and even when you tell them they still don’t get it. Good luck shopping and I hope it all works out for you!!