Second thoughts or cold feet??

Have you two been through any premartial counciling? With your wedding date over a year away I'm concerned you're already feeling so much anxiety. A therapist might help you find closure with why your previous marriage ended.

I was married before too....and to be completely honest it was just finalized Jan. 30th. (6 month wait in Cali) I haven't had any of those feelings, in fact I know even more now that this is right...that he is the one for me. I understand where you are coming from divorce is brutal. And I definitely don't want to go through it again either. I wish I had something more to say to help ease your anxiety.

No but we plan to go. It's not anxiety over our relationship so much as it is over my last marriage not working although he was a physchopath, seriously. It just we do have a lot of things on our plate that most newly married couples don't have. We have both been married before, we both have children so we will have a blended family and that alone is hard for most people so it scares me a little.

Tasha it's not that I'm questioning if it's right it's just concerns because we have such a strong relationship. We have been through so much together already and have stood by each others side through it all. It just a little nerve wracking for me because my last marriage failed so miserable.

Wow, just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I have never been married before, but I've been with my FH since I was 20 (11 years). He has been married/divorced twice already (he's 12 years older than me.) On top of that, my mom is currently going through her 4th divorce and my father is on his 3rd marriage. I am terrified that one day our marraige will end that way because I take marriage very seriously. I'm not knocking anyone on here that has gone through divorce, infact I think you and those other women & men are very strong for getting through a divorce and having the faith to try marraige again. I just don't know if I could handle getting divorced and then having to start all over again.

This is what i hate about guys that end up being such jerks. No matter what, we tend to compare. If I was never cheated on by my ex, the thought would never cross my mind but now despite how much I trust my fiance, i know it's possible for someone to do something so low while pretending to love you. If you never went through your divorce, you wouldn't be so concerned now. Because of some buttheads actions, we are forced to worry/compare/think about these possibilities. It makes me mad Grrr.

I just realized that I kind of went on a rant and was not very helpful. Easier said then done but we just need to give everyone and every new experience a clean slate, a chance to prove our past wrong because every situation and person is different and our past should not dictate how we feel about our future.

I told my husband that I refused to marry him without pre-martial counseling first. He had been divorced once, and my mother was divorced 4 times, both of my sisters have been divorced, and I didn't want the same fate. So we did 6 months of pre-marital counseling and I think it really helps. It helps prepare you for married life, because even though we had been together for 6 years and lived together for 4 of them, being married IS different, especially the first married fight. I think you should definitely try counseling and see if that helps calm your fears about getting married again.

Yes I contacted someone today and we plan to go. i am actually excited about it because I don't want to feel all this anxiety and I think it will calm my fears and i will feel a lot better about the whole planning process once we have done that. Thanks everyone for your understanding and sound advice.