According to my mom and a lot of older people with the traditional views a white dress is only for 1st marriages. Although I wore ivory the 1st time and was pregnant. I found the dress I feel I am in love with however its white or ivory and not the inital color I wanted....1st pic is my dress and second pic is the picture on the internet in the color I wanted. Should I just get the one they have or order a different color and avoid people talking. FH and I live together and we have an 8 month old, and I have 3kids from my previous marriage. The lady at the bridal shop also said I should wear a veil and that its free with my dress; she says I should consider it. However I feel so stressed since its so soon (2.5 yrs since my separation/divorce) and since its FH he wants us to do it all as if its a first. I already had the bog ballgown, train, veil, big reception wedding. Everything planned by my mom though. Now I get to do it all our way and still its so hard not to stress.
Get the color you love, don't care about what others think. Many people have multiple marriages, I think it's common for brides to still wear white the second time around (if they so choose), and no one will say anything to you about it on your wedding day. If you get comments from people before the wedding, politely let them know that the wedding is an event for them to celebrate your HAPPINESS in your new marriage, and that their comments aren't necessary.
Order whatever dress you want, in whatever color you want!!!
Champion
June 2019
Kenisha ·
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Go ahead and get the color dress you want!
Devoted
December 2018
Kristy ·
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I'm a firm believer that weddings no matter how many should be done to what the bride and groom want. Order the dress you want in the color you want and forget everyone else.
Its both mine and fh second marriage. We have 4 kids between us. It's only been 2 years since his divorce and 2.5 since mine. Both firsts were run away to Vegas and reno. This one we didn't care what anyone had to say. My dress is ivory and stunning, my soon to be step son says I look like a queen (awe!) We got our dream wedding and if people will talk, fine let them. We wanted what we wanted and got it.
Order whatever makes you feel beautiful and what you see yourself in because at the end of the day it's not about rumors or whispers it's about promising to spend your life with one person.
Don't give one iota of worry as to what anyone else thinks.
This is both of our second marriages. My first husband and I eloped so I've never had a wedding - I am having a darn WEDDING this time, a party to celebrate having found the most amazing man I could ever hope for, with family and friends. I will wear a white dress and I will give serious side eye to anyone who dares make a snide comment about that, because honestly they can F off if they think it's inappropriate.
It's a great time to get married because the new tradition is...any tradition you want! Brides have been wearing all kinds of colors--even black. If you want white/ivory, do it.
P.S. You rock that gown. You've had kids??? No way, you look amazing. Wear what makes you feel beautiful.
Wear whatever color dress makes you happy! The tradition of wearing a white wedding dress comes from Queen Victoria wearing a white lace dress for her wedding. It became a fad to wear a white dress that has continued through to today. There is nothing in the tradition that says you can't wear white for a second wedding or any other wedding for that matter. Do what makes you happy and don't worry about what others think. I think the dress you like is beautiful and you will look amazing in whatever color you choose!
I agree with everyone here...White was originally about "purity" and nowadays even most first time brides (including myself LOL) are not completely "pure" before they get married. My FH was married before and the advice he gave me was "No matter what you choose someone will have a problem with it, so you might as well at least make yourself happy!" Good luck and happy planning!
This is a new beginning a new chapter for the two of you. I agree do it as if it were a first, because this is yalls first time marrying each other and that is what is important! Who cares what any one else thinks. This is about you and your FH and family together. Get the dress you love and want in what ever color your heart desires! Best of wishes to you!
GET THE DRESS YOU WANT! I could have written your post. This is also mine and FH’s second marriage. It’ll be 5 years separated for him, 3.5 for me at the time of our wedding. We also have three kids total (2 his, 1 mine).
My first wedding was very controlled by my mother, as I was young (18), and my parents paid for the entire thing. We did almost everything my mom’s way, so this time is different! It’s ALL ABOUT what FH and I both want, together. My mom has been extremely passive aggressive/apethetic about my plans, and both of my parents think we shouldn’t even be having a wedding, just “go to the courthouse and get it done”. It’s been frustrating, to say the least. Even worse when I really do want to include my mother, and can’t get any sort of positivity or effort from her whatsoever.. So, with lots of encouragement from my bridesmaids, I am doing what I want, wearing what I want, and planning the wedding I feel FH and I deserve after everything we have been through!
My step mom wore white and so did my future MIL at both of their weddings recently (both second marriages). If the veil is free take it! It would look so beautiful! White is a long gone tradition of it only being for first marriages. It’s supposed to be for virgins getting married but almost no one saves it for marriage these days (not in a bad way, I’m not going to be one walking down the aisle either! LOL. It’s just the normality of these days) and it’s now just seen as a wedding color. Soooo many people walk down the aisle for the 6th time wearing white and soooo many people have kids who wear white at their 2nd weddings. Don’t let anyone tell you THE BRIDE you can’t wear white! However. If you feel uncomfortable in white you can always go with ivory or a cream or blush color!
Super
November 2019
Melissa ·
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Screw that outdated rule, get whatever color you feel beautiful in.
Pay zero attention to what people say because you are not nutella! no everyone is going to be happy but they should make zero impact on how you feel or what you choose to do. this special special day is all about you your partner & the love for one another. I believe that dress is stunning and you would look so lovely in it. Do whatever makes your heart skip a beat and give you that sense of aww when you see it!
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Agree with this completely! (I briefly had a similar concern about our upcoming renewal and had to shake off the doubt. Like Kristy’s, my IVORY dress is also stunning! Lol) Also, keep in mind if the comments are mostly from your older family members, it could be a generational thing? I would politely point out that “it’s unfortunate that you’re out of touch with the times but not to worry, I assure you I’ll look fabulous! Thanks for your well wishes” And walk away.
Good luck OP! And I can’t wait to see your BAM with you in your dream dress 😉
It used to be that you wore white for a first wedding, ivory for any subsequent ones. However, about 70% of first-time brides now wear ivory, not white. So for a subsequent wedding, I'd say go with what looks good on you.