When my FH and I got engaged and started talking about wedding stuff he immediately said he wanted to just go to the courthouse and get married and throw a reception. I really wanted/want to have a wedding ceremony and reception with our friends and family, so we agreed to keep it small and initially put together a guest list of 29. Soon that guest list grew to about 60, and we both just kind of accepted that everyone on the list had to be invited. However, as I've been really reflecting I feel like I let expectations and other people's influence start to dictate and we lost sight of what we originally wanted. My mom feels like I'm changing everything because there's family drama and says not to make any hasty decisions because a lot can change in a year. I know she's right to a certain extent, at this point I can't even talk to my cousin and aunt let alone be in the same room with them after what they've been saying about me behind my back. At the same time, we originally wanted to keep the ceremony really small with only the people we are closest to and somewhere along the way we fell into the "if you invite your aunts and uncles I have to invite my aunts and uncles or they'll feel snubbed" and I started feeling like I needed to invite more friends (even though I'm not super close to them) just because my FH has several close friends he wants to be there.
Has anyone else felt like their plans started straying from what they originally wanted and they had to reign in and refocus? If you had a small guest list, how did you handle people who expected to be invited but weren't? For example, my FH's parents have both passed, but he is really close to one of his aunts and she is potentially the only aunt we would be inviting; how should we approach my 5 aunts and uncles and my FH's other 6 aunts and uncles who would be expecting an invite? Would it be rude to invite them to a bigger reception later?
One of the ceremony locations I love has a maximum of 35 people, including us and our photographer. It's where he proposed and just a special place to us. When our guest list expanded I took it off the list because not everyone would fit, but I kept thinking about doing first look pictures there because it is literally one of our favorite places in the world. Now, I just feel like taking a big red marker and crossing people off the list instead. Thanks for any advice and insight, I'm just feeling a little broken and lost.
