Second bride etiquette

This is my 2nd marriage, but the first time I will be a "bride." The first marriage was more like an elopement, we spent less than 3 minutes in the courthouse, had lunch together and went home. No shower, no invitations, no ceremony, no reception, no honeymoon, no, no, no....and eventually no marriage....

This time I am having a church ceremony, a dress with a cathedral train (yes, the REALLY long one), a cathedral length veil, a bridal shower, a reception, a honeymoon (although it's a mini-moon), and everything else I missed out on the first time around. I want the full bride experience, and nobody has told me anything I'm doing violates any etiquette for 2nd marriages.

Second wedding here too. We're going basic for that reason-DW -no shower etc..., but I don't see any harm in wearing a veil - or doing whatever customary practices you want. It's your day to your FH - have it how you want it to be.

You are the bride! I say wear a veil I'd you want one.

I am a second time bride as well. The first time was rushed and not me! I am going all out this time! I mean you only get married twice, once! LOL I don't plan on ever getting married again I have found my perfect mate!

The only "rule" my mom said was that there should be no shower. My daughter (7 years old) wants to throw me a party. So we will have a little gathering calling it a bridal tea.

I am not wearing a veil and my dress had a train BUT I will have an underneath bustle so no one will even know the train exists!

I'm a 3rd timer. We are doing it all except shower. It's the 1st time we are getting married to each other so why not have all the bells and whistles. The only thing with veils is no blusher in front of the face. Other than that go for it.

I say screw all the "etiquette" rules and do what you want. I've never heard of the "bouquet/garter toss" or no veil thing.

I'm iffy on the shower thing...I guess if people find it okay to have a shower for a 2nd baby, then why not for a "2nd marriage". Besides, who wants to use the same wedding gifts you got from your ex in your new marriage? Sell those gifts and get new ones!!

I just answered this question. Do you.

I was a second time bride marrying a first time bride, so all the "rules" you mentioned would just have been confusing. Fortunately, while there were a lot of such rules a generation ago, they have pretty much disappeared by now.

The rules at this point are pretty much identical for a first and second wedding. You can only have a shower if someone offers to host it for you, but if someone does, you can graciously accept if you want. About the only time I'd hesitate on this is if your first wedding was very recently indeed, and all the same people would be at the shower for your first and second wedding.

You register unless you just want cash gifts. No one has to give a gift, for a first or subsequent wedding. But a lot of people will want to. And if they do, it's helpful to know what you want. As with any wedding, you don't put your registry information in the invitation.

You can wear white, have a veil, have a wedding of any size, etc. Many brides prefer to have the second wedding different from the first. But that could mean having a big, lavish wedding if the first was at the courthouse, or a quiet elopement if the first one was a formal one with 250 guests. It's a matter of taste--and not wanting bad associations--rather than etiquette.

I'm a second time around bride, and I'm going all out. First time, we eloped and it was done in about 5 minutes with only two friends as witnesses.

There shouldn't be rules for your own wedding! It's really sad that you have to listen to rules just because the first time didn't work out.. I would do whatever you think is right and have fun!

Very helpful answers! My FH is also a second time groom. We were both young when we were first married to our ex spouses. And since it's been awhile since our first time weddings, we decided to put the past to rest and celebrate our love and have a wedding with all the details.

Not a big fan of all the etiquette rules but just don't want to do anything silly or a major faux pas.