Seating Chart. Why or Why not?

#2 is a great reason. Also what can of dinner are you having if it's a plated dinner you pretty much need one.

I am having one because I want people to mingle and not be searching for a seat. You don't have assign the chairs unless your caterer needs to know who is seated where for dinner I am just assigning table.

I didn't at mine. Everyone handled it just fine. I've only been to 2 weddings that had seating charts. Most weddings I have been to had more than enough seating, so there were no problems. But I can see the reasons for one, just not necessary for mine.

Suzi I definitely wouldn't worry about it if it's laid back like you are describing.

@mrscountrylace glorified cookout... hotdogs burgers cookout type sides... Will be buffet style. My mom is the one doing our food too. Idk if she's enlisting help or not she told me to leave that to her...

I wasn't planning on it but I may change my mind. It depends on how many people come and if we can provide plenty of extra seating. I think that's the key. Ive been to many casual unassigned weddings where it worked just fine

While I know it makes it easier so people can be guaranteed a seat with people they know, its impossible to please everyone and I never know who secretly hates who. i feel like im never happy with where I get stuck so I hate to do that to someone else.

If its a casual wedding, I say casual seating is fine.

SO how would you ladies suggest I go about making one? Where would I start? I'll make one while I pine over it more that way it isn't last minute if I decide to use it.

I'm in the same boat as Rigby. We're having a casual, outdoor wedding at a huge house we rented out near the North Shore in Oahu. The only people invited are his immediate family and mine plus our closest friends (75 people total) and there aren't any family members that need to be separated. I think it'll be fine without a seating chart. Also, we plan on having extra chairs/tables.

I'm doing a seating chart because I have such a large wedding and need to make sure everyone gets a seat and does not have to split up. Also, if you have a plated meal it helps to know who RSVP'd and gets to eat and who didn't and has to wait for extras. (My dinner costs $60 a head. I'm not ordering extras. My guests will be well informed of the no RSVP no dinner policy.)

Everyone who says "we did it xyz way, and everyone was fine" does not really understand that you may not hear the grumbling, or the complaints, or the general discomfort of your guests. What polite person is really going to tell the bride/groom that there was some aspect of their wedding that they didn't like?

Seating charts simplify the seating arrangements for guests. It guarantees that everyone will have a seat with someone they know and like, and will be comfortable during your reception. No one wants to have the "lonely person in the cafeteria" feeling, trust me.

I think I will have to have a seating chart for the reception. We have two sets of divorced parents. My dad is remarried to the woman he left my mom for and this will be the first time my mom sees her. (she doesn't know my step mom is basically the same age as me). My FH's dad is on his second divorce and will be bringing his new girlfriend. This will be the first time either of our parents have seen each other since their divorces. We are going to do one long family style table since our planner says this is the best way to separate people who don't want to be near each other and it also saves us from having to choose who would sit at a table with us if we did individual tables. We want to be able to place people near family they know so prevent awkwardness and drama. It will be a miracle if everyone will be polite to each other for half a day. Ok rant over.

How to go about making one... here is what I have been thinking so far.

1) Group family together. This are my mom's side of the family. This is my FH mom's family. This is my dad's family, this is my FH's dad side of the family. Sit those people together.

2) Parents get a spot near the front of the room. For me I'm putting my mom's table centre left, and FH's mom's table right beside that. For my dad he's going centre right. FH's dad side is right beside that.

We have a dance floor dividing the room so it works perfectly to keep some space between parents that would be upset with their partners.

3) Ask siblings who they would like to sit with. My brother will be sitting with my mom because he would be more confortable with her then with my dad. Let sibilines deal with any drama that may arise with who they sit with.

4) Use friends to balance out the sides. Both my FH and myself, our dad's side of the family is smaller then our mom's side. So many of our friends will be sitting together on the 'dad's' side of the room to balance it out.

5) Make sure everyone it sitting with at least one person that they know, if possible. Keep couples together, keep children with their parents. And try to have it that each couple knows someone else at the table.

I would suggest drawing out a picture of the room on a piece of bristol board and then using post-it-notes with names on them to decide who is sitting where. That's what I plan on doing.

Katydid is right. Sometimes I want to cross-stitch the following onto a pillow: "No one will ever tell you that your wedding sucked."

Do you think I've ever told a bride that her slideshow was slow creeping death by boredom, that everybody hated waiting in the hot sun for an hour because her ceremony started late, that the food was cold and unappetizing, or that the open seating was a festival of middle school awkward? No, because that would be a crappy thing to do. But that doesn't change the fact that I didn't find those weddings especially enjoyable, I left early, and no, it wasn't a case of "everyone was fine," it was a case of "everyone was too polite to complain."

That said, I had open seating.

But I also had about 115 chairs for 90 guests, including tables, bar and highboy seating. I paid careful attention and didn't see anyone circling the room or hunting around for seats. Open seating can work if you have more chairs than people and under 100 guests. Any more than that and you get a lot of milling around and confusion.

Geez I didn't want one but now you're all making me second guess my decision lol. I planned on having reserved tables for family(ies) & bridal party and everyone else can figure it out.

I am just doing two reserved tables for our parents. Also have a head table for us and bridal party everyone else is up for grabs. I feel as though its a waste of my time. After dinner everyone will mingle any ways... Also our families and friends all pretty much know each other.

Families are so peculiar & there is so much drama and history. It's better to avoid that on the big day. That's what seating charts really do...keep the peace.

Thanks everyone! Talked to FH and we're gonna throw one together. I've got some ideas in mind. Y'all are seriously great!!!

Yes. I've only been to one wedding without assigned tables, and I hated it. You don't want to sit in the back, but you don't want to overestimate your importance by sitting too close to the front either. Everyone just kind of milled around awkwardly for a while, confused and not really sure what to do. It was awful, and I would never want that at my own wedding. Guests like having some direction.

That said, it depends on the size of the wedding. If you're only having 50 guests or so, you'd be fine without.

I just grouped people together that I knew would get along like I have two families that take up a table for 10 so I tried to place some families together.

Until last fall, I was an advocate against seating charts.

Then, we attended my FSIL's wedding, which did not have a seating chart. There were two "reserved" tables, but there was a lot of confusion about who was to sit there. In the end, my FH and I ended up without seats. We had to ask people to move a bit at a table near his dad, who had found a seat at a table with his ex-wife and her new family.

So, if your goal is to spare your parents an awkward situation, I highly recommend a seating chart.