Scared I’m going to look fat

Hi Sasha. I know how you feel. I go through the same thoughts. But I went in for my dress fitting the other day. And I freakin rocked it! I still get that creeping feeling but I know that the day of, all of that will melt away and I will only be thinking of the man I am marrying! And the only one whos opinion matters, is his. As long as he finds you beautiful now, he will only find you more so on your wedding day!

Your definitely not the only one! I worry about it all the time, remembering your day is about you and the one you love, who thinks you look amazing no matter what, is the important part! Try not to over stress yourself you look amazing!

View Quoted Comment It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one I went in for my first fitting earlier this week and the dress couldn’t zip up because I had gained a few pounds. My final fitting is in a couple weeks from now and I’m hoping I can fit back into the dress. I’ve been beating myself up about it, like if I had just stayed on my diet then I would be so much smaller by now. Instead of gaining weight and trying to lose the same pounds I gained ugh I really hope things turn out that way, that when I go in for final fitting everything will be fine

View Quoted Comment Thank you Shannon! You’re right, it is only about my future husband and me. But I just can’t help but feel a little embarrassed that the dress couldn’t zip up at my first fitting and really really really really hoping that I can lose this weight and fit my dress again by the final fitting

You are definitely not alone! I used to be a size little (size 3-5) pretty much until I turned like 22 and then I started gaining. Right now I’m a size 16 bridal and I hate how I look. My arms especially, I’m scared to buy a dress because of it. I just started the Keto diet today so I’m hoping I’ll see some difference in the next few weeks!

Hi Sasha, Don't feel this way, although I understand how the pressure of looking a certain way can get into your head, etc. Every now and then I have an off day and I tell FH ughh I feel fat today, I feel bloated because I'm going to get my period, I ate some not so good stuff this weekend and now I feel blah. I always get the same response, FH actually gets very bothered when I say stuff like that and always tells me how beautiful I am and reassures me so that I can brush it off. Try a juice cleanse for a few days and some high intensity interval training. Not only will you feel better but the work out will help you keep stress out the way which can be a factor of over-eating or breaking your diet. I am a junk food fanatic, love the bad stuff like if I were a 8 year old wanting candy. I just don't allow myself or anyone at home to buy these in big quantities or have them laying around. I have never deprived myself of a craving though like if I want some chocolate or a cupcake, etc. I eat it with pleasure. My weight loss journey started with my wedding in mind however, once you get into it its a lifestyle and my family has history of diabetes, hypertension, etc so now its for me and my future. Unless it'a 100% just not for you in which case, why work so hard for one day? Be you and be happy being you. If F-hubby is happy then there's no problem.

I was bigger than I had planned on my wedding day and I was nervous that when I saw myself in the the pictures and video, that I wouldn't like the way I looked. But I can honestly say that I've never felt more beautiful than on my wedding day.

I'm worried too. My wedding is five and a half months away (March) and I was told that my dress must be in for any alterations by December/January. When I tried my dress on it was very snug and I felt like my stomach was on display. I was told that the dress could be let out if necessary, but I really don't want to have to do that. Sigh. Here's to hoping I can change my lifestyle soon and not need alterations. It would also be nice to breathe in my dress lol

This post has me conflicted. I understand the desire to want to look your best, be healthy, and feel good. But then I read things in your post about what a bride is "supposed" to look like and it makes me cringe because there are many plus sized brides on this site, including me. And the message this post sends to them/me is that because of our weight we are not beautiful brides. That our size is somehow shameful and embarrassing. I don't think this is the message you mean to convey, and I'm sure you would tell us that we are beautiful no matter our size. At least I hope you would say that! Well, likewise, you will be a beautiful bride regardless of what your scale says. And if you don't believe that then it doesn't matter how little you weigh because it will never be enough. You will always think you can/should weigh less and never be happy with yourself. So if you want to lose weight don't do it because of how a bride is "supposed" to look, but do it for a healthy lifestyle. Here I am looking/being "fat" on my wedding day.

View Quoted Comment When people express how they feel about themselves, it has nothing to do with how they feel about other people and you shouldn’t take it as a personal attack.

How I feel about myself has nothing to do with how I feel about you or anyone else. You look beautiful, and every bride I have seen on here is beautiful. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own insecurities. Just because I think I feel fat and feel that I’m not living up to my family’s expectations doesn’t mean that I think other people look anything less than amazing. I’ve never seen an ugly bride ever, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel a certain way about myself. And I shouldn’t have to feel like I can’t be honest about how I’m feeling about myself in fear that it mind offend another person. How I feel about myself has nothing to do with you.

View Quoted Comment Sure, I understand but that's not the message you're conveying which is why I said I was conflicted by your post and then said you probably don't mean to convey that message.

You said yourself that you have never seen an ugly bride. So there you go. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of that. You will be a beautiful bride.

View Quoted Comment You’re literally taking my words apart and twisting them to mean something they never meant, and turn them into something for you to take offense to. And honestly, your message was rude and degrading to my own personal feelings. You have no right to tell me how I should and shouldn’t feel about myself. Maybe instead of judging another person’s insecurities or feelings, you could be more understanding. It’s never right to tell someone they’re wrong for feeling the way they feel, especially when it has nothing to do with anyone else except themselves. You have no idea what my background is or where I come from, who are you to judge?

View Quoted Comment I wanted to hop in and say A) you looked beautiful and B) I agree. As a size 22 I will be a fat, flabby, wide, beautiful bride. These posts always make me uncomfortable because they do tend to convey the message that you can't manage to be both fat and beautiful. I totally agree that the OP shouldn't have to feel like she can't be honest but I also agree there are ways to convey it. I also really want to urge people to separate themselves from using fat as a negative thing or saying things like fat =/= beautiful. A lot of the comments on these posts tend to lead that way and feed into unhealthy diet culture. We could all stand to be a little bit kinder and more accepting of others and ourselves.

On that same note, as someone who has struggled with eating disorders and advocates for self love, I want to take the time to say you're beautiful too, Sasha, and a couple inches doesn't change that. Other people's expectations are probably bigger in your head than they are in reality. I hope that your dress fits and that you feel beautiful in it. Even if it doesn't, I hope you know you're worth more than a number on a scale or a dress size, and your husband is going to love you either way. You deserve to love yourself too.

View Quoted Comment I'm trying to encourage you by reminding you that you will be a beautiful bride regardless of what size you are. This is a message all of us need to hear. Many brides on this site struggle with weight and body/self image issues so it is important to be sensitive to the words we use even when describing how we feel about ourselves. But, no, you are certainly not alone in feeling the way you feel and I never said you are wrong for feeling that.

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You look great

View Quoted Comment Same here! I’ve put on 10 lbs since I originally tried on my dress. While 10 lbs isn’t a crazy amount it’s still bothering me. I compared photos of when I first bought my dress to now and I will say that I do fill it out better and it does showcase my curves way more now but I could use to lose 5 lbs so that it falls a little smoother in the front. It has a ton of bead work all down the front so it bunches a tiny but right under my boobes, my final fitting is in 4 days and wedding next Saturday. Wish me luck to not stress eat for the next 6 days 😳👀

I feel the same. Renewing my vows in Feb and having bariatric surgery in Oct. So don't worry you'll b beautiful. Don't drive yourself crazy. Cause you'll miss out on the fun of planning

View Quoted Comment Wishing you the best!!! I’m the same, I’ve gained 10 since I first tried on the dress but now it doesn’t zip Hopefully I can lose the weight in time for the wedding. I’m rooting for us!!

View Quoted Comment You look absolutely stunning in your wedding photos!!!

Sasha, I understand completely how you feel. I'm around a size 14/16 in general, not wedding dresses and really wanted to lose some weight before trying on dresses and then after I found my dress. Haven't been able to be consistent with working out due to unforeseen family issues that have taken up my time the past few months. I really hate my arms and was very upset for a while at how flabby they would look in pics. But as my day gets closer, 34 days to go!, I realize how unimportant it is and that it is what it is. My friends know what I look like already, my fiance thinks I'm gorgeous, and on that day i wont notice any of my rolls or flabs or anything. I'll remember that I'm marrying the most amazing man surrounded by people who love us and that's all that matters. That I'm even lucky to be there because not every woman gets to experience this moment.

I understand though so I do wish you luck in trying to lose a few pounds and zip up your dress. But you will look beautiful even if they have to let it out so dont add stress to your life honey. Just enjoy this process, eat smart, relax and you'll be fine.