Save the dates VS Just invitations

How far out is your wedding? I will probably do both, but the wedding date is going to be pretty far out. If I remember correctly (please let me know if I am not!) the wedding invites are sent out 2-3 months in advance. So if your wedding is further out and you want to insure that your guests have plenty of time to make travel arrangements, request time off of work, etc, you want to send out the save-the-dates further in advance then that. You'd be surprised that you can verbally tell a person the date but until they see it it's like it isn't really set in stone yet. Also, if it is during "wedding season" in your area, your day may overlap with some other people's day, and your guest is most likely going to commit to the first save the date or wedding invitation they receive, unless the other person is really close or family. So keep that in mind as well.

I am,doing save the dates since we are having a Friday wedding and have lots of out of town guests. I want to give them notice to take off work and make travel arrangements.

I skipped saved the dates. I felt like they were just an added expense. Save the dates also solidify your guest list, anyone who gets on has to get an invite as well. You never know what could happen with friendships and/or your budget in those months between sending STDs and sending invites. We're sending out invites 6-8 weeks in advance. Nearly everyone already knows the date from word of mouth anyways.

If you're having a destination wedding or having a lot of OOT guests, maybe I would say do it. But remember that everyone that receives an STD needs an invitation. So if you send STDs super early, you are locked in to that amount of guests. I've seen some people regret it because of later they need to save money and wanted to cut the guest list but because of the STDs, they couldn't. Just a word of caution!

For reference, I am skipping the STDs and we're having a Thursday wedding.

If you are having a DW then definitely send them out. I sent them out as well because we have quite a few guest coming from OOT.

Wedding invitations go out 6-8 weeks in advance. If your wedding is destination or you have a lot of out-of-town guests, you can send STDs sooner than that (usually 6-10 months for STDs). The problem with STDs is that many brides send them out, then as the wedding gets closer, they realize they don't have the budget they thought they did or they get angry with someone on the guest list or they drift apart from someone on the guest list and realize there's someone else they want to invite instead. Problem is, every person who gets a STD MUST get an invitation. It doesn't matter if you no longer like them or if they cheated on their husband or if you no longer work at that job. Short of committing some violent act toward you or threatening to, they have to get an invite. So STDs will lock you in to your guest list pretty early on and you can't change your mind. If you're okay with that, send STDs.

Alternatively, you can send STDs to only those you know you'll want there (like parents and siblings) and hold off on sending them to everyone else. You're allowed to send people invitations even if they didn't get a STD. You just can't send a STD without an invitation later.

For the record, we sent STDs to everyone with no problem.

STD's might as well be invites; once you send them, you're locked into sending those people invitations. If your financial ability or your relationships change, then you're stuck.

People hav gotten married for centuries without them. I'd skip them and give yourself the flexibility to hone your guest list when your budget is more set.

We sent out save the dates like a year in advance? Don't quite remember. They weren't necessary, just nice to have.

I'd like to chime in and say I just sent out STDs in September for an April wedding. Invites will go out February. My suggestion is to send to only your OOT guests or to extremely close friends and family who would be on ANY guest list (big or small) that you create. I regret sending to my entire guest list because thinking now- we could have saved money not inviting people I frankly haven't seen in some time. It'll be lovely to see them if they come of course- but budgets and life circumstances really can change. Ours has- since 2 months ago. But now we have to bite the bullet.

We were going to skip stds but I decided to do them because our wedding is right after the holidays so if people wanted to make our wedding a priority they might save their vacation time and flyer miles and they might not have that option if they just get the invitations. If you're looking to cut costs you can always just send them to vips (i.e. Family, very close friends) or out of town guests who might need to plan ahead.

I've never known the date of a wedding by word of mouth, in fact I got the date wrong for a wedding I was a bridesmaid in up until like a month before. And even if people do hear the date along the way how will they know they're invited and be able to plan for that? Either people won't be presumptuous and then not be able to get time off or find a flight OR everyone will be presumptuous and your guest list will get really weird really fast

I'm very pro STD, we have a lot of friends that are getting married next year and are inviting a lot of the same people so this way they know if it is something they want to plan for

We're just doing STDs for OOT guests. Which is basically all FHs guests.

We are just sending invitations. STDs seemed repetitive to us.

We're only doing invitations. STDs seemed like a waste of money.

We skipped them, waste of $$ in my eyes. Most folks knew the date well in advance.

We are doing magnet STDs for everyone since I'm not the only one getting married in my circle, in the season. Plus we have out of town guests

We skipped STDs. We let close family and friends know the date in advanced. Didnt want to spend the extra money or be locked in to a guest list (which has change over this year.)

Is it a DW? If not, you really only need invitations, and STDs will prematurely lock you into your guest list if you send them to everyone. If you insist on the STDs, I highly recommend ONLY sending them to out of town VIPs, though the same thing can be accomplished with a phone call to those guests.

I want to add, we ARE doing a DW, and will only be sending a few STDs.