Yes. It is extremely rude to not send an invitation to someone you sent a save the date to. Save the dates tell people to do just that. By sending them a save you have asked them to block off their calendar and hold that date open. Additionally people typically book travel/hotels once they receive a save so they have likely not spent money on your wedding as well.
Anyone who who receives a save the date must receive an invitation
Yes, very bad taste. You're asking them to save the date--schedule vacations around it, save up for it, etc.--and then telling them it's all been for nothing.
I think STDs are a really bad idea in the first place, for that very reason. There are a whole lot of reasons that eight weeks out, you might not want to invite people who were on your guest list a year out. These can range from wanting to downsize the wedding to having a guest get divorced. STDs lock you in way too early.
Yes, because sending them a save the date implies they're going to be invited to the wedding. Some will start saving for a gift, transportation, clothing etc. If a bride isn't sure they'll be invited to the wedding then they shouldn't get a save the date
Did something happen between you and them? If it was that serious of a situation, they probably don't want to come anymore anyways. If you're just trying to shrink your costs, then it is definitely rude to not send the invitation.
Yes it’s bad etiquette to send someone a save the date but not an invitation. Unless something happened between you and the individual(s) and it’s a mutual decision then I personally would send invitations to everyone that received a save the date. On the flip side, you may meet new people after your save the dates have been sent and may decide to invite them. For those people, they would only need an invitation.
Definitely. The point of Save the Dates are to give guests a heads up on case they need to travel. If someone gets a save the date they need to be invited to the wedding unless something crazy happens in between.
Unless they've done something REALLY bad and distasteful that may compromise your wedding, I'd still honor the save the dates I sent to that individual. I've had some people really cross me in the course of my wedding planning, but none to the point where I wish to completely omit them from my guest list. And one thing I find sometimes happens with some couples, is that the individual they have trouble with will just decide not to come to the wedding anymore. I am sorry for whatever you may be going through, and I really hope everything works out for you, Rebecca
If this is the case, then it's definitely definitely rude. When you say overinvited do you mean you're over venue capacity, or over budget? If over capacity, talk to your venue about what could be done. If over budget, can you reallocate from flowers, alcohol, or decorations budget?
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If you are in a bind I'd look at your list, figure out who you think has a higher chance of not going due to distance, strength of relationship with you, timing of wedding, history of canceling, etc. Then reach out to them individually to talk about it. It sucks, but it's the only way to respectfully take back save the dates. Another way is to do adults only if you invited people with kids, or no plus ones.
If you over-invited, that is honestly you and your future spouse's own fault and it is up to you to figure it out. Don't potentially hurt a relationship because of a mistake.
Like others asked, if it is a budget issue then reallocate funds. If it is a venue issue, then meet with the venue to discuss options. Also keep in mind that once invites go out, some folks will decline (maybe 10%). Good luck, this is a tough issue to have!