Save the Date but no invite!

Personally, No I would not send a gift. If i have no contact with said person, and received no actual invitation, I'd not purchase nor send a gift.

No i wouldn’t send a gift. It’s very poor etiquette to send a STD but not the formal invite.

Nope. They decided not to invite you after all, which is rude, but you also don't talk to them.

No. She shouldn't have sent a STD and then cut you from the list. That's inconsiderate.

I would contact the couple and say that you just came across your save the date but realized you didn’t receive an invite. Perhaps they haven’t sent them yet (I know someone who said they got an invite a month out from a wedding...) or maybe it got lost in the mail? Obviously if you received a save the date, it meant that they thought of you as a guest

I would wait. If you get a call for not responding to the rsvp, you can explain that you didn't receive an invitation, then decline. At that point I would send them a card with your good wishes.

I would not send a gift, especially if you have not seen them in years.

I would send them a note letting them know you are trying to figure out your plan and haven't seen the invite. I had two people who didn't receive their invites when I first sent them, and I would have felt terrible if they hadn't come just because they didn't want to reach out and confirm, and I waited until a couple weeks before to follow up on rsvps (they were both OOT and had to arrange travel). It's so frustrating not knowing if something got lost in the mail, but it's completely okay to reach out since if they did cut you, the poor etiquette is on their side, not on yours for following up.

View Quoted Comment I like this plan

No I wouldn’t

No invite, no gift. But like PP said, there’s a possibility the USPS screwed up somewhere and the invite is lost in space and they have no idea.

What Muriel said. Sounds like the perfect response.

Thanks for the feedback all!! The wedding is in the 10th of Feb, so I'll see if I get a call!

Maybe the wedding was cancelled ?

It’s very possible the invitation was lost in the mail. My MOH never received her invite and she lives in the same city as me. Most likely it was delivered to the wrong address and the person who got it didn’t have the courtesy to return it. We get wrong mail at least once every 3 months.

I’d wait to see if you get a call for not RSVPing. If not, no gift. Why send a gift when you’ve been disinvited? If you get a call (invite was legit list in the mail) and decide not to go, then sending a gift is your choice.

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Definitely this.

Towards the wedding, a card would be a nice gesture, but I don't think a gift is necessary.

If you haven't spoken to them in 6 years, I wouldn't go anyways. I would not send a gift.

This happened to me last year with a friend who sent a save the date and no invite. It turned out that she was asking people on Facebook to rsvp to the save the date. Those who said they were coming she invited via a Facebook group to her and her FWs bridal shower they were throwing. I couldn’t make it to that so I figured I would just attend the wedding. Well, the wedding ended up being cancelled after she had the bridal shower. They decided to have a courthouse wedding alone instead. I couldn’t believe it and honestly was thankful I didn’t go and give them a gift because in the end it seemed like their goal all along was to get gifts but not actually pay to host everyone for a reception.

So in your situation I wouldn’t give a gift. I’m not saying the situation is similar but I feel that if someone is not courteous enough to send a proper invitation or to notify you that they want you there then you shouldn’t waste your money on something that won’t be appreciated.

Hmm it could have been a mistake that u didn't receive an invite..it's well known that if u send a STD than u need to send invite to that person ..maybe u could ask ur old friend if u are still invited in a casual way n just let her know that if ur not still invited it's ok u just want to know..mail gets lost u know..

If I didn't receive an invite, I wouldn't feel obligated to send a gift. It's definitely a nice gesture if you send one though.

Are you sure the wedding is still on?