Rude to invite friends but not aunts and uncles?

Gymrat - Can I be one of your "Canada cousins"?

I think what you're doing is fine. They might feel hurt though if you are close to those family members, but I'm sure that if they're reasonable people they will easily forgive you. Most people know that weddings are crazy expensive. I would rather invite aunts and uncles over cousins, but that's just me. I'd keep close friends to a very small group - like just a few from each side.

I am closer to friends than I am to my family. No cousins or aunts and uncles were invited aside from one pair who have been like surrogate parents to me. If I haven't spoken to you in the last 2 months, you're not getting invited (Because most likely that means I haven't spoken to you in the last 2 years). Just make sure that everyone you want there, will be there.

That's what we are doing mostly because I never, like ever see those people. Why would I invite people I never see?

I am in the same boat, girl. Only inviting people who have been actually genuinely involved in our lives for the past few years. I'm not paying for my uncle to come after he called me fat at Christmas on multiple occasions so yeah

Things could def change in the meantime. And when you say that you can's afford your family bc the GL would be at 150 than you have to ask yourself is family really that important to you? I see a lot of WW users say we could only afford X amount of people so we had to cut family BUT its all about priorities our budget isn't much higher than yours (about $13k, actually started at $24k) and we are hosting 200-250 people with a 2 course buffet and full open bar. We don't have a dream venue, with a garden or huge chandeliers. We picked a place that lets you bring in your own caterer, and stock your own bar (that's the main reason we were able to cut the budget so much). So if you want 150 for $10k in most places that's very possible. Its all up to you. For us it was more important to have our huge families there than a fancy venue, paying $70 pp for food, and $30 pp for an open bar.

Thank you all for your insight. I have a lot of reflection to do. I'm still early in the planning process, and have ample time for decision making.

I'm only inviting people I have contact with on a regular basis, family or not. For example I invited a cousin I am close with, but if I ran into her brother I wouldn't even know who it was so he didn't get an invite. Drama or no, we invited people we felt connected to.

Except for FMILs "list" where she randomly invited 20 people that not only do I not know, but FH doesn't really know either. I can't with that. But she helped us buy our home so I held my tongue.

My family is large as well. My mother has 8 siblings, father has 7, and step father has 3. I'm inviting all of my aunts and uncles and then the cousins that I'm close to (my mom's side mostly, and a few from my dads). Everyone on my fathers side is much older and I haven't talked to or seen in the last 3 or 4 years. I would love to invite everyone, but just not in my budget. I would much rather invite a friend that I'm close to instead of cousin Sally who I'm friends on Facebook with but haven't seen in 4 years.

It's not rude, especially since it sounds like your budget will only allow for 50 or fewer guests. However, make sure you're not going to regret leaving anyone out before making the final cuts. Good luck!

I'm inviting more friends than family.

However, in my case, my extended family is somewhat awful. Even if I can suck it up and tolerate them on the rare occasion I see them, I can't expect others to do the same. I want my guests to be comfortable and they don't facilitate that. Auntie Drunkie, Auntie Won't Bathe, Uncle PITA, Cousin Attention Whore, and Auntie Gloom n' Doom can just get bent.

I think it depends on who you are close to. We drew the line at "who we celebrate the holidays with". If we celebrate the holidays with person, they got an invite. We also allowed 3 exceptions of people we would celebrate with if they lived closer but they live several states away or in one case internationally.

Invite who you want!

I unfortunately feel stuck and have to invite more family that I don't want there than friends I do want there. It was one of those "bite the bullet and just do it or do what I want because I'm paying for everything but never live it down for the rest of my life" things so I chose to not have to hear about it ever again. My family STILL talks about weddings from 15+ years ago where certain people weren't invited and if I'm this sick of it, I can't imagine how my cousins feel having to listen to it. Really wishing I had the balls to move away and change my phone number so I could invite who I want...

I don't think it's rude because if you are not close with family it doesn't make sense to invite them. Maybe you need to try to balance out your list with both friends and family you want to share the day with. Looks like you got some time to get your list together.

Due to FH large family we did not invite aunts uncles and first cousins. Our guest list is 80 people. Inviting aunts, uncles and cousins eould have added 100 or so people. It just wasn't feesible. We made sure to get the word out via our parents that we were having a small wedding woth no extended family and everyone understood.

@Joanna You're welcome!! I'm glad I'm not the only one!! And a little sad, but mostly glad!!

Invite who you love and care about and want there regardless of whether they are blood family or not. Sometimes our closest "family" are the people you choose to fill your life with.

Eeeep. I had this same problem. My mom wanted to ambush my GL with every aunt, uncle, first and second cousin I've ever head of. I moved my wedding out of state to avoid it.

Good luck op.

I don't think it's rude. Syrup is thicker than blood. Which pretty much means the ones who have a sweet relationship with you are worth more than a family member.

I think this depends on how close you are with those family members. I'm extremely close to my aunts and uncles, as well as my first cousins. When my FH met these extended family members, his observation was that my relationships with my first cousins are more like sibling relationships (there are only 6 of us on my dad's side and my brother and I are the only grandchildren on my mom's side). I couldn't dream of prioritizing any other guests over my grandmothers, aunts and uncles, and cousins. But not all families are like that, and in those situations where your aunts, uncles, and cousins aren't a huge part of your life, it would make sense to me to include the friends who are closer to you and feel more like family to you.

View Quoted Comment A phone call goes both ways, you haven’t called them in 2 months or 2 years. Planning a wedding is tough and yes some family will be offended if not invited. You have to choose what is more important to you. Family or a fancy wedding.