RSVPs in.. sooo many declines.

Can you upgrade something to not just lose the money? Like the bar or add apps or an extra dessert?

Depending on the relationship you have with the others you weren't able to invite before, you still could. A friend and old coworker did that when she had some declines, and because she was on a tight budget, nobody was offended by the last minute request. Just a thought.

I am against ahead of time B listing but in your situation it seems fair. No one bite my head off but maybe some coworkers or friends you couldn't invite before?

I would talk to your vendors. Most of them will only charge the amount of people that are attending and will refund the extra.

Definitely invite your friends you couldn't before! We invited over 300 and I'm praying people decline so I can extend late invites to other friends. They won't be offended. They should know you had a tight budget. Besides, now you're stocking your party with people you really want to spend time with (and party with) on your big day! My vote is get your money's worth and extend the late invite

I just booked our venue a few days ago and we have a food and beverage minimum to meet, no matter how many attend. Once our guest list is finalized it'll probably be around 150 people. If we end up with a shit load of declines we'll just keep adding food options to meet the minimum.

No, please don't invite people this late in the game. You're two weeks out. See if you can upgrade something else, like uplighting or appetizers or something.

We reached out to our (truly) single friends and offered them plus ones, but not many took us up on the offer (because they really are that single). And I still feel insanely guilty about inviting anyone last minute, so I won't be - just annoyed I didn't invite them in the first place. FH doesn't have the same tact as I do and is inviting one or two friends from med school, and I guess guys don't view B-listing the same in terms of how tacky it is. But we're still way under. I've reached out to the venue and am going to see if us upgrading the bar and adding late night food along the process can count against that minimum, since it wasn't part of the original contract. She's been great so far to work with, so hopefully it works out.

I'm just annoyed that it's gotten to this point. I have reached out to the vendors and most of them have a clause built in saying that they can adjust down 20%. Thankfully for most of our vendors we put 220, so we'll at least only be 10 short of that.

Thank god it's the weekend. I've only been allowing myself to drink on the weekends because #weddingdiet, but god I've needed it this week! Bring on the wine.

ETA: I say "truly single" because we already invited anyone in a relationship as a couple, we were just giving plus ones to people that were from out of town or didn't know anyone else originally. Now we're them to everyone.

Can you get more apps or upgrade the bar instead of paying for people who are not coming anyway? Or even upgrade dinner?

ETA: I saw your comment about calling - I hope they let you do that!

We had over a 50% decline rate. Invited 165 and had 75 guests RSVP yes, including DH and I. The majority of our guest list was OOT and we knew several guests were long shots. We did not expect quite so many declines, however. We were obviously under our minimum.

We were already planning to have servers bring offer wine to guests at the table during dinner while our bartenders took a break and the open bar was temporarily closed so that guests would still have access to alcohol. It was going to be by consumption based on how many bottles we went through plus the cost of the servers. The venue allowed us to put the cost of this towards meeting our minimum, and then we added an extra appetizer during cocktail hour to ensure we would meet the minimum.

Check with your venue about what you could upgrade or add to make up the difference in order to meet your minimum.

Honestly, we invited a lot of relatives on his side because he felt obligated to. It did force us to limit the number of friends we could invite. However, the friends we did invite were the friends we truly wanted there and were the people we felt were the closest to us. I wouldn't change that, even if I could have predicted this. I would recommend upgrading things to meet your minimum and celebrating with those who are closest to you over B-listing and adding a few people you were on the fence about. If you were on the fence about them, you already know you don't need them there. This doesn't change that.

I was gonna say can't you upgrade to like a smore bar, late night snack or even more appetizers for the guest that is what I would be doing if I had to make up that money for the venue

No B lists! I never, never, never advocate for or condone B listing. It's rude and shitty. But you might possibly be able to get away with it if the second invites are sent within a few days of the first ones. But with just a couple of weeks until the wedding? Hell no! It will be painfully obvious what you are doing, and you will hurt feelings and perhaps even lose friendships entirely.

Ask your venue/career about upgrading options so you get value for your money. The place I work always allows that. We once had a corporate event where only 1/4 of the expected people wound up being able to come. Hot damn did those 30 people have a luxurious dinner and amazing bar!

If it makes you feel any better we are looking at a near 50% decline rate too. Go figure.

We have a minimum at our venue as well and the extra funds can be used towards a signature batch cocktail or upgraded appetizers. Hopefully you can do that.

'This is exactly why I hate venues that require minimums.'

Good luck finding one without.

Yikes I'm sorry! That's still a big wedding though. Can you get more apps or a dessert bar?

Our venue had a minimum of 150 for Saturday night. With a guest list of 235 we didn't see any issues - until we got a 45 plus percent decline rate. We ended up having the venue say it was ok, and didn't charge us for it all. Asking is the only way to find out if there's any wiggle room or adjustments to your plans you can make.

I haven't even come across one without a minimum where I live. Even off season winter weddings had a minimum. The only way you might get around a minimum spend is having your wedding on a weekday.

Linds, I'm hoping that this is the case. Our venue coordinator has been awesome, and we've added so much stuff since we signed the contract that I'm hoping she's willing to let it go.

We've already got steak as an entree and the premium bar, since my FH is a diva. So I'm not sure how much more upgraded we can go.

UUUUGH. Just Ugh. I didn't have advice when I started this thread, but I do now. Just elope. Just do it. Seriously.

My venue didn't have a minimum, Natalie.

OP, call and see about upgrading the bar or food (maybe another app at cocktail hour?). Don't invite someone this late. They'll know they weren't your first choice and it would damage the relationship a lot more than if they just weren't invited.