Cynthia
Expert June 2019

Rsvps are due May 15th!

Cynthia, on May 14, 2019 at 3:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice
Our rsvps are due back tomorrow. We only have 30 put of 70. I'm only nervous about it because I have not received anymore since last Thursday! When should I start reaching to those who have not sent the RSVP back?
Share:

29 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Master November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    You should wait two or three days after the deadline for stragglers who will send them out the day they're due.

  • Mcskipper
    VIP July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    I waited a full week (though I had a 2 week buffer between RSVPs being due to me and my headcount being due to the caterer), and in that time, I heard from almost everyone without prompting. Received several in the mail a few days after the deadline (must have been dropped in the mail perhaps after hours on the rsvp date haha), and also got some calls/texts/emails — on my due date I was waiting to here from 25 or so and by the time I started reaching out, I only had a single straggler left to ask. So, I feel like giving yourself a few days is helpful to lessen the workload. But I’d still
    work backwards from when numbers are due for you— that’s most important.
  • Future Mrs. H
    Rockstar September 2019
    Future Mrs. H ·

    I would begin reaching out by the end of the week. Unfortunately, some people think the "RSVP by" date is the last day to drop theirs in the mail

  • K
    Dedicated September 2019
    Kelsey ·

    Unless you need a head count right now, I'd give it a week or so. Even if they dropped them in the mail before the due date, sometimes it can take a while to get where it needs to go.

  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·

    Mine were due on a Monday.. on Thursday I started reaching out to people. "Just wanted to follow up and make sure you received our wedding invite. Since our RSVP by date was Monday, we’re reaching out to those we haven’t heard from. If you haven’t mailed back your RSVP, please drop it in the mail this week so we can have a final count for seating/food/etc. If we don’t hear back from you by the 25th, we’ll have to put you down as a no. Hope you can make it!"

  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I was told I do not need a final head count until the week before and I gave an earlier due date for RSVPs so maybe I'll wait a week too. Thanks for the input!
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Okay. Thank you!!
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you! I still have a couple weeks before I need a final head count.
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    That's what I heard! I'm glad i made it for a sooner date for the RSVPs to be sent back!
  • L
    Just Said Yes July 2019
    Lisa ·

    Thanks everyone who posted in this thread. We have about 30% RSVPs currently and our RSVP deadline is in about 2 weeks. I was really surprised because we made it ridiculously easy to RSVP (online option + gave everyone a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope for snail mail invites). Good to know it's normal for people to drag their feet. Even some of the bridesmaids/groomsmen haven't RSVPed yet!

  • Marieke
    Expert June 2019
    Marieke ·
    Oh snap! I didn’t even realize what today is lol my RSVPs are also due in tomorrow! My final food count isn’t due until the 29th so I have two weeks for any stragglers and following up with people. It’s annoying because some of them are family who have told me they’re coming and even sent gifts for the shower! I don’t know why it’s so hard to just pick what food you want.. it’s not like I didn’t also attach a stamp to the envelope! Just throw it in a mailbox! Haha one of life’s mysteries.
  • Mandi
    Super March 2020
    Mandi ·
    Give it a couple days. I'm sure a lot of people are dropping it in the mail tomorrow.
  • T
    Dedicated May 2019
    Tammy ·
    Our RSVP’s were due on May 4th. We are having a destination wedding (Hilton Head, SC) so we pretty much knew the people that were coming. This is a second marriage for both of us. Sad to say my own sister never sent her RSVP back. So I sent her a text message to ask if she was sending her RSVP back or was she just planning on telling me she wasn’t coming! Her excuse...can’t get the time off from work... because her and her husband just got back from Puerto Rico. - planned trip after she knew about our wedding.

    Oh well, we know where we rate.



  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    That is sad! I am so sorry.
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly!!! I have a stamp on the RSVP envelope and return address label. Like I could not have made it any easier... but I will hold off a little bit on asking around.
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I was not worried about the bridesmaids/groomsmen RSVP just because I know they are coming and only 3 out of 6 our in relationships. And I've asked the other ones if they are bringing dates. I think I'm just more bummed that I have got any wedding mail yet this week!
  • T
    Dedicated May 2019
    Tammy ·
    For others that we knew were coming but missed the deadline...we told them that we would put them down for the Chicken nugget children’s plate...lol
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Haha!! I told them if you dont RSVP then you better eat before they come.
  • J
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Jessica ·

    Etiquette says wait one week. My rsvp date was a Friday. I contact them before Monday. But 99% of the people I contacted knew they missed the date and knew by that point whether or not they were coming. We had a handful that said they sent them and they did get lost in the mail too. You are already busy enough so I feel its appropriate to contact the day after if you have time. Facebook messenger was very successful for me. I still had people sending them in for 2 weeks afterwards, even after I spoke with them and knew they were coming.

  • Summer
    Dedicated June 2019
    Summer ·
    View Quoted Comment

    We had the same thing with our bridesmaids/groomsman, lol. We got back about 60% of the mailed RSVP. Out of the 40% left 10% responded when we reached out and the last 30% still didn't give an answer or respond to our attempt in any way.

Comment on this discussion

×