Rsvp/plus one vent

"Ettiquite" generally says people in relationships gets a +1 or invite their SO by name, he may be one of the people who believe in that. Overall if you haven't seen him or heard from him long enough to not know he was dating anyone I don't see why you'd bother inviting him despite what mom says. Sounds to me like you handled it well, if he asks again just say no sorry the guest cap has been reached.

View Quoted Comment I doubt it’s an etiquette issue considering the type of person he is. But yeah, my mom’s a big family is family person and paying for the venue so I didn’t have much say in that. When my mom asked his mom for his address, she didn’t even have it and asked that we send the invite to her home and she’d give it to him when she saw him. These are not etiquette people. I’ll definitely say no if he asks again, I was honestly very shocked by the conversation.

Some people are just rude I guess.

Wow. I would probably try to say something to him again though, just reiterating that you cant accommodate people youve never met because what if he just shows up with her anyway?

View Quoted Comment That’s what my wedding planner’s job to deal with. But you’re probably right. I’ll give it some time and then text him that she can’t come.

Yeah...you dont wanna have to have your wedding planner kick people out at the door. Just nip it in the bud now so there won't be a scene on the day of.

His girlfriend should have been invited. He’s not the one being rude here, you are.

View Quoted Comment May i ask how she is being rude if she didnt even know the girlfriend existed

View Quoted Comment As a host, it’s kind of your job to know if your guests are in relationships. I totally get how you could slip up with someone you’re not close to, but once it was brought to her attention, she should have added the girlfriend to the guest list.

If you just ignore it, that’s certainly not being the bigger person.

After I sent out invites, I discovered one of my cousins had a very significant other I didn’t know about. I was embarrassed not to have included her! I messaged him the moment I found out and said of course he could bring her too. (He didn’t, ultimately, but really appreciated the offer!)

i never understand this “never met ‘em” argument. There’s always a point where someone hasn’t met someone, if they never get invited to anything, when does anyone meet the SOs? For some of my cousins, our wedding was the first time they met my husband!
Ultimately if you don’t want to include her, that’s your choice. But don’t just ghost the cousin. Answer him. Tell him that you are unable to accommodate the extra guest. “Unfortunately we are unable to accommodate extra guests. I’m sorry if that means you won’t be able to attend, but please let me know.” Or wait and if you get some no RSVPs and have extra space, go ahead and make the offer.

View Quoted Comment Actually just read up on etiquette and no where does it say that. It actually said it was rude to request a plus one if not offered. The only requirement is married/living together.

View Quoted Comment She’s not a plus one. Plus ones are for single guests. Your cousin isn’t single. Couples are social units and should be invited to events as such. It’s ultimately your decision and you clearly aren’t concerned about his feelings, but I think you should keep in mind how you would feel if you were invited to a wedding before you and your FH were engaged and he wasn’t included. Would you be fine going to celebrate someone’s relationship when they clearly don’t respect yours?

View Quoted Comment It’s happened to me both ways actually. Not a big deal. I was invited to another cousin’s(his brother) wedding when I was in a long term relationship and wasn’t given a plus one. We both lived through it. And unmarried people are technically single. What I read specifically said if you’re unmarried and have a significant other, a plus one isn’t required. They are a plus one because the girlfriend is not a part of my guest list.

It's not entitled to want your significant other to be invited to a social event with you. You should have found out if your guests had SOs and invited them by name; that's your responsibility as the host. If you couldn't afford to invite both halves of the couple, you should have invited neither. This is on you, not on him, and not on your mom.

View Quoted Comment FYI my mom invited them, as she is hosting. My mom got his information from his mom. My mom, who is paying for the venue, gave me the number of people who we could invite followed by her guest list. So no, this is not really on me as he is not my guest.

View Quoted Comment

Incorrect. Unmarried people in relationships are not single. Plus ones are not given to people in relationships; that's not what a plus one is, by definition. A plus one is a fill-in-the-blank guest spot given to someone single who can bring whomever they want. Plus ones are not required. SOs need to be invited by name.

View Quoted Comment Not according to this 🤷🏽‍♀️

Omg, ignore the people telling you how to think and that it is your fault. Etiquette is ridiculous most days anyway— especially in these situations. Your mom obviously didn’t do her due diligence. This should be her issue. I would forward him right over to her with the added price.

Agree with PP, she should have been invited in this first place. It is not being "entitled" to want your SO to be invited with you. You're in the wrong here.

I think it is mandatory to invite spouses and fiances. GF/BF is in a gray area. Long term/live-in many would say yes. Flavor of the week, no. If the cousin identifies the person as GF, I would be temped to say no