RSVP Warning- don't over invite!

THANK GOSH I got a bad feeling and decided to cut some friends we haven't seen much lately off the guest list right before we sent invitations, or else we would most likely be over our limit. Most of these family members that are coming, I've literally never even met. Considering I haven't met any of these people, I was certain they wouldn't attend but I was very wrong.

So, to anyone who is over-inviting because they are *sure* some people won't attend, please think twice. I could have gotten myself in a baaaad situation because I was told it would be okay.

Also, keep your foot down about the guest list. I didn't have enough of a backbone to say no to my aunt (because I know and really appreciate she was just trying to help and do something nice), and even though we weren't as close as we used to be to the friends we cut, it sucks having to cut friends to invite your fifth cousin.

My Mom wanted me to invite my cousins on her side, but I haven't talked to most of them in years and have no contact info for any of them, so I said no. She is sad, but understands. I am glad I stood my ground.

I am jealous that your RSVPs are rolling in. We are at about 26% received and only have 9 days left before our RSVP deadline!

Well yes, this is why we tell couples to expect 100% attendance. You never quite know what's going to happen until the RSVPs start rolling in.

@Kate- lol. Why is this process so difficult for people? What is your plan for following up with people who haven't responded?

So far we've gotten about 60% of our RSVP's back and have yet to get a decline. Definitely unexpected! (But at least budgeted for)

My FMIL is super sweet but she's a people pleaser. We told her we are trying to keep our guest list around 75 and keeps telling us that we have to invite certain people and keeps asking FH if it's fair if we don't invite some of them. One example is a close family friend that FH is very close to. He flew out to see him last year and talks to him regularly, FMIL insists that we have to invite his siblings too because they are "practically family" but FH hasn't spoken to either of them for years. I asked FH to stop discussing wedding details with anyone other than my mother who is financially contributing.

@Kate I have found that some people in condos/apartments didn't get the invite even though they did get the save the date...wtf USPS

I actually had some surprise declines, and was able to cut a whole table. While part of me is "YAY, less $$ to spend to feed people!!" (though I've already spent the money to rent the table and chairs, and to decorate the table, BOO), the other part is looking at the list of people we cut before we sent invitations, and making a sad face. There are definitely a few I would have liked to invite, but it's too late now. Murphy's Law, though--if I had over-invited, EVERYONE would have said yes, and I would be freaking out trying to figure out how to seat them! Better safe than sorry.

It seems all the yes RSVP's rolled in quite quickly. At the end we were getting a lot of No's!

Good thinking cutting some people before invites went out!

@Kate- The first response was my favorite. I may save your other response for when we have to do this. It is silly that I get sad when I check the mail after getting home and there are no response cards? Why can't people just mark them and send back....

@Jennifer I had the exact same problem! Mom wanted to invite all the cousins, haven't talked to them in years, we didn't have contact info, they all live 7+ hours away, the phrase "You need to suck it up, invite them, and be grateful if they show up" was used. I eventually told her since they were so important to her, she was in charge of finding all their contact info. Suddenly it wasn't so important that they were invited.

@Kate I haven't RSVP'd because I haven't received my invite so...

@Brooke, yeah, it seems like the NOs waited until the last minute to send theirs in, OR they were the folks we had to hunt down! Argh. I'm so glad I'm past that point.

Seating chart is done, too--man, THAT was like working one of those little slidey-number tile puzzles, but with personalities factored in. I think (::knock wood: all should be smooth sailing from here.

@Kate- We haven't gotten an envelope since Saturday and there was only one. Gotta love the roller coaster. Ugh.....I also got news that two of my college besties are saying they don't know if they can come now because their husbands got new jobs and they don't want to travel with their children. When I got that news the other night I started crying (happens a lot these days) and told FW we should have eloped.

Anyone else WAY more emotional than usual?

There are a few people I'm inviting for my stepdad's sake... no one told me I HAD to invite them but he's been like a dad to me without missing a beat so I'm not NOT going to invite his family.

That being said it's a DW so...... we shall see how it pans out. I'd be mad though that they're all coming.... I also can't figure out why you'd RSVP yes to the wedding of someone you never met....maybe that's just me

I would say we have somewhere between 30 and 40% of the RSVP cards actually in hand, but several people have told us verbally that they are coming so I'm not expecting many more declines. I still haven't heard from any of my dad's extended family (who I was also pressured into inviting, but he's paying so I didn't have much of a voice there lol), so we'll see what happens.

Hello to my several date twins!

@Jessie, I felt like I could hear the people of WW telling me not to over-invite as I was contemplating my decision. I've said this many times already but this community has saved my wedding!

Going through this right now. Share your pain! List is at 188, we wanted 100.

You're way stronger than me. At first I cut my friends so my mom coud invite some friends, on top of the people I grew up with from the lake and their siblings. I agreed those friends needed to be invited. Well everyone told me that not everyone would show. We invited 281, and our max is 250. Not many have declined. I'm freaking out. I even went through today and counted up people I know won't come as in, my grandma won't bring a plus one- grandfather passed before I was born. My other grandmother is in really bad health, I'm hoping she will still be around for the wedding, she said she will come to the ceremony but not the reception- I'll appreciate what she does and her husband, my grandfather also passed before I was born. My end count was 251.