Dayna
Expert September 2021

rsvp Vent

Dayna, on August 13, 2021 at 8:16 AM Posted in Planning 0 22
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I have to vent. Our RSVP deadline is tomorrow and we have only received RSVPs from HALF of our guests. They have had a little over a month to return RSVPs, so plenty of time. I understand that people might have covid concerns right now, but then they could at least reach out and talk to us. We sent formal invitations with stamped RSVP cards to return, so there was nothing complicated about it. On top of that, three of the RSVPs we got back so far had no names! UGHHHHHHH

Anyone else have issues getting guests to RSVP? I feel like I'm going to spend my whole week next week tracking people down..

22 Comments

Latest activity by KH479, on August 13, 2021 at 10:41 PM
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    Did you number them so you can tell who the no-names are?


    I've heard that a lot of people RSVP at the last minute, so I would wait until Sunday, then start picking up the phone and calling people. From other posts on this site, your situation seems very typical but I do think it's a bit rude of people to procrastinate!
    • Reply
  • Dayna
    Expert September 2021
    Dayna ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I did not number them and I soooo regret it.
    Thankfully I was able to figure out who two of them were from the postmark, and the 3rd I narrowed down to 2 people (a father and son) who live in the same town so I’ll see if I get their other rsvp or contact them both.

    I am going to give it a few days into next week for any late rsvps before I starting calling people. The worst is all the people who have been telling me for 2 years “omg I’m sooo excited for your wedding!!!” and then don’t rsvp.
    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Devoted February 2022
    Chloe ·
    • Flag
    I'm pretty sure we'll be having the same problem... I remember my cousin's wedding three years ago, she had a guest call 3 weeks after the rsvp deadline saying they forgot to book a hotel room and if she could book one for them... And they never even RSVPd, she was convinced they were not coming. So yeah, clearly it's common and when it's my time to stress over it, you'll see me posting here about how people are garbage Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    It’s nerve racking when you put in the time to assemble the invites with the RSVPs & still nothing gets done! I had to track down 10 people & one was my brother!
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    While you might have to track people down, I’d also keep in mind that the USPS is currently a mess so it’s possible people sent them out already and they just haven’t gotten to you yet. We just got a thank you card from a birthday party we attended in June yesterday, but it was postmarked July 10 and they only live two towns away from us.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    K ·
    • Flag
    Omg I feel you! Ours are due Sunday and we are still missing a lot of people, although 3/4 have responded. Which is good
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Dedicated September 2021
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    We still have 91 not responded and today is the deadline. I get informed mail and no responses in today's batch. It's incredibly frustrating to say the least. We have 1 yesterday with accept and no name. How does that happen?! LOL

    We plan on reaching out to people tomorrow with a final deadline of next Friday. If they haven't given us a definite answer by Friday evening, they are marked as declined and will not have a seat or a plate at the wedding if they choose to show up. I understand COVID worries and USPS delays, but they've had 6-7 weeks to respond by now and I'm not going to beg people to confirm at this point.

    • Reply
  • Dayna
    Expert September 2021
    Dayna ·
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    OMG I am so glad I'm not the only one in the same boat...We also have Informed Delivery and none coming today, so that just leaves tomorrow!! Sorry you are dealing with this too. Its soooo frustrating.

    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    While I havent sent my anything yet I know both my sisters had this issue. Its so inconsiderate when people dont respond. Some people have no concept of what it takes to plan things.
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    No one ever tells you that the RSVP process is the absolute worst part about wedding planning! Lol Smiley xd

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Also remember a lot of people see the deadline as the day to drop them into the mail. We got a ton of rsvps postmarked on our deadline date, or the day after (probably put in the box after the pick up time that day!)
    • Reply
  • Milada
    Super October 2021
    Milada ·
    • Flag

    We've gotten a good amount but I'm so annoyed at OUR FAMILY who keep texting me "omg, i love the invitations! Of course we're gonna be there!" but not RSVP. My MIL even said "sigh, I have to RSVP too?" to which I quickly replied "nope, you can starve" (I told her that I wasn't picking her meal so if she wanted one she had better lol. We both laughed at my reply). Even had to get on the bridal party about it. I understand the people waiting to see about Covid but for the others who "guarantee" they'll be there - why not RSVP now then??

    They still have a month left so I'm trying to be patient lol.

    • Reply
  • Abigail
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Abigail ·
    • Flag

    We are doing strictly online RSVP's and recommending all guests download the Wedding Wire guest app. In 2021, I feel like everyone can work the internet enough to submit an online RSVP successfully Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Savvy August 2021
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    Omg, story of my life. I had the same issue from my fiance side. Only 10 people sent back RSVP. We had to hunt them down, so annoying. After I paid and gave the final head count to the venue, that's when everyone wants to come. Oh well, they had PLENTY of time.
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Alana ·
    • Flag

    To give you an idea of how bad the post office is right now... On July 27th we received a holiday card post marked DECEMBER 6 2020. Hopefully a bunch will start streaming in this week for you.

    • Reply
  • Jessyca
    Dedicated September 2021
    Jessyca ·
    • Flag

    I was in the same boat too, I had 119 no responses earlier this week, and my RSVPs were ONLINE! No mailing back cards required!

    I am so thankful I built in 2 weeks between the RSVP by date I told my guests and when I actually need to submit final numbers to my venue. This week I delegated to my mom, my dad, and my FMIL to start working on their lists of missing RSVPs and today I am only missing 18!

    One thing I've learned is that our weddings are completely consuming our lives right now, but that is NOT the case for literally every other person on the guest list. They don't mean to be rude, people just forget because they are not neck deep in wedding planning like we are.

    Go ahead and start the calls/texts/emails and delegating today!

    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated July 2021
    Charlotte ·
    • Flag
    Same thing happened to us!!! About half of the guests RSVP’d very late prior to the wedding and a handful didn’t answer at all even after we reached out multiple times. This sucked because we couldn’t give our caterer the accurate number at the end but had to guess. I would say don’t stress out too much about it. Most people are always late responding to those but they will.
    • Reply
  • Donna
    Dedicated December 2021
    Donna ·
    • Flag

    I feel like this is unfortunately super normal. All my friends have had the same issue with RSVPs. Add covid concerns and it's just a nightmare. I'm still sorry that's happening. People should definitely still have reached out and talked to you about their concerns. However, I think some people just honestly forget about the RSVP by date so don't feel like you're being rude if you have to reach out to people. You shouldn't have to but at this point you gotta know who is coming or not at this point. Just be very straight forward and copy/paste text if you can. Don't spend time calling everyone. Ain't nobody got time for that. "Hey, I have not received a wedding RSVP from you and I need to let the caterers know by X DATE if you're coming or not." You can also add "I understand if covid is a concern for you but If I don't hear from you by X DATE I will mark you as a no" ...or something like that. Don't let people stress you out. You got this!

    • Reply
  • Millie
    Savvy October 2021
    Millie ·
    • Flag
    I feel you! I messaged everyone directly to get more responses quickly and it's gone well for me. People are lazy and unfortunately brides/grooms have to take the initiative.
    • Reply
  • Millie
    Savvy October 2021
    Millie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This is the approach I took and it allowed me to keep track of everyone myself when I contacted them. Our RSVP date isn't until the 31st, but I now only have 15-16 people left to give a response.
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